Am I failing in Leadership?

[Kaiten]

I have had some ideas for a long time in my head. I am in my early 20s and have finally gotten the guts to act on them.

 

The problem is, these ideas are proving to be very difficult to execute by myself. So I went to my friends. At first it was just a lofty dream I had in my head. It was something I had to describe to my friends.

 

But half a year later, I have acquired the necessary skills (such as writing and programming) to be able to pull my ideas out of my head and show them to people.

 

I thought that the fact that I now had something to show people might cause them to be a little more interested. This was not the case.

 

None of my friends were interested in the venture before I had the software built. And none of them are interested even if I show it to them.

 

I have been big on leadership and entrepreneurship for a while now. I have been reading the books like

 

"The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership" - John Maxwell

"Tribes" - Seth Godin

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" - Dale Carnegie

"360 Degrees of Influence" - Harrison Monarth

"DRiVE" - Daniel Pink

 

to name a few.

 

I have also seen about one-fifth of every TED talk on their main site. I've implemented a lot of what I have learn in the workplace (with a nearly 100% success rate; which I define as having invoked change for the better).

 

I have also read countless blogs - even ones that disagree with my worldview.

 

And yet I have not been able to convince even one of my friends to take my venture seriously. Every single one of them declined.

 

But it's not like they just said, "no. not interested."

 

One or two of them have, but overwhelming majority have declined by doing this:

 

Me: "Hey man! I've got a great idea, and you can be part of this! Wanna try?"

 

Friend: "Well, what do we have to do?"

 

Me: (after going over EVERY LITTLE DETAIL with them) "So what do you think?"

 

Friend: "I mean it's awesome, but I don't know how to do that stuff. If I knew how to do that I would definitely be interested. Sounds like a great idea."

 

Me: "It's all right. I can teach you everything I know and then you will be able to help! What do you say?"

 

Friend: "Alright! I'm in!"

 

 

- - - ONE WEEK LATER - - -

 

(Phone call)

 

Me: "Hey, what's up? Haven't heard from you..."

 

Friend: "Oh...yeah...I guess I can't do it. I had a question that I need to ask you, but I forgot to call you." OR "I'm sorry man. I can't do it. Been real busy lately."

 

^ is this not a vague ass excuse?

 

-----------------------------------------

 

That is how almost every single one of my friends have handled my pitch to them - almost invariably.

 

At first I thought that it was just that they didn't have the drive to start something. But now because of my 100% failure rate to recruit even a single friend, I am starting to believe that it must be that I don't have the charisma or the leadership to convince someone that this is a worthwhile endeavor.

 

I just wish I knew why people always decline by disappearing? And why I always have to look for people after they agree to join me?

 

What am I doing wrong? I am now scared to try and pitch my idea to an investor because I think it would look strange if I claimed to be a capable leader, yet I couldn't convince any one friend to join me.

 

 

***Also, it's worth mentioning that I don't have a college degree. BUT! I can obviously do everything that I say I can do because I have something to show people - not just an idea on my head or on a piece of paper.

 

Is it possible that none of my friends believe in me because of my lack of formal education?

[CC12]

Can you describe specifically what you want your friends to do? Are you asking them for money? Or to work for/with you? Can you do this on your own, or is it necessary to get help?

 

I think people typically aren't comfortable being hit up for money (an investment opportunity!) or being asked to do work for possibly(?) no pay.

 

Also I think you have to contemplate whether your idea is just a dud. Maybe none of your friends feel that this is a viable idea. Their vague excuses might be frustrating for you, but they're just trying to let you down easy and perhaps trying not to crush your dreams.

 

Do you mind sharing what this venture is?

[Els]

What are you trying to get your friends to do? Are you trying to get them to work for you, or invest money in your venture, or what?

 

I'll be honest, everyone has an idea. What separates those that get off the ground and don't, is the drive to make it happen, even if you have to do it on your own. And that's what lots of entrepreneurs do - wing it on their own until they have something substantial to show investors or potential employees/partners.

 

Given that you mention writing and programming, I'm guessing your venture is related to software/web/mobile development. I've researched those a fair bit. And it's pretty common knowledge that almost nobody is going to invest in you when all you have is an idea and not even a prototype yet. You might get really lucky if you're very persistent and have a huge network, but I don't get why you're surprised that your friends are turning you down. It's only normal.

 

Edit: Wait, I just re-read your post and I'm confused. So you actually HAD a working prototype to show? Not just 'the necessary skills'?

Edited June 11, 2014 by Elswyth

[jonsnuh]

I have had some ideas for a long time in my head. I am in my early 20s and have finally gotten the guts to act on them.

 

Kudos to you for taking the risk and leap into becoming an entrepreneur. America was built on the backs of people like you. (No sarcasm)

 

 

The problem is, these ideas are proving to be very difficult to execute by myself. So I went to my friends. At first it was just a lofty dream I had in my head. It was something I had to describe to my friends.

 

But half a year later, I have acquired the necessary skills (such as writing and programming) to be able to pull my ideas out of my head and show them to people.

 

I thought that the fact that I now had something to show people might cause them to be a little more interested. This was not the case.

 

None of my friends were interested in the venture before I had the software built. And none of them are interested even if I show it to them.

 

Ah, so you're facing reality and the obstacle of human resources. This is well known. You need to attract the people that you know will help with you on your mission to succeed, share your company's values, and willing to take the risk. You may be asking too much of your friends: they may not be willing to give you what you want, or the fact that they CAN'T do it.

 

I have been big on leadership and entrepreneurship for a while now. I have been reading the books like

 

"The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership" - John Maxwell

"Tribes" - Seth Godin

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" - Dale Carnegie

"360 Degrees of Influence" - Harrison Monarth

"DRiVE" - Daniel Pink

 

to name a few.

 

I have also seen about one-fifth of every TED talk on their main site. I've implemented a lot of what I have learn in the workplace (with a nearly 100% success rate; which I define as having invoked change for the better).

 

I have also read countless blogs - even ones that disagree with my worldview.

 

It is one thing to read books and theory, and another to apply it to your situation. Failure will always be part of the rocky road ahead. The most successful entrepreneurs will adapt to it.

 

And yet I have not been able to convince even one of my friends to take my venture seriously. Every single one of them declined.

 

But it's not like they just said, "no. not interested."

 

One or two of them have, but overwhelming majority have declined by doing this:

 

Me: "Hey man! I've got a great idea, and you can be part of this! Wanna try?"

 

Friend: "Well, what do we have to do?"

 

Me: (after going over EVERY LITTLE DETAIL with them) "So what do you think?"

 

Friend: "I mean it's awesome, but I don't know how to do that stuff. If I knew how to do that I would definitely be interested. Sounds like a great idea."

 

Me: "It's all right. I can teach you everything I know and then you will be able to help! What do you say?"

 

Friend: "Alright! I'm in!"

 

 

Going through every detail might not be a good idea. They could always take the idea and run with it while pretending to work with you. Also, it may be too much for them. You need to figure out what their strengths are, and what value they can add to your company. It may be a good idea to just drop them if they become a drain on your resources, and if your time and efforts could be spent with someone else. Nothing personal, just doing business.

 

- - - ONE WEEK LATER - - -

 

(Phone call)

 

Me: "Hey, what's up? Haven't heard from you..."

 

Friend: "Oh...yeah...I guess I can't do it. I had a question that I need to ask you, but I forgot to call you." OR "I'm sorry man. I can't do it. Been real busy lately."

 

^ is this not a vague ass excuse?

 

Entrepreneurship and especially getting a company running is a full-time job. Many people I know from my university had to drop-out from school, simply because they didn't have the time to focus on school/life when the startup demanded too much out of them.

 

As I said above, you need to find people who are dedicated and have a track record of wanting to bring your idea/dream to fruition. And if it is for the long-run, you will need to offer ownership and rewards for them to take so much risk, if your idea is worth going for. You may have to convince them not just by telling them the idea, but showing them where you are, what you need and how close you are to creating a prototype. They will also enquire about financing-- most startup ideas die out or are put on hold because finding financing is so difficult.

 

If anything, you must find out why you are failing. Is it because the concept is too far out? Is it because you haven't had a tangible, strong and clear strategy in place?

 

How far along are you in college? Degrees are a signal that you have the competency and technical knowledge for you to operate in your capacity of whatever it might be. It would be more convincing to follow someone who had studied in a related field extensively, especially your idea is that coming from a STEM field.

 

Just my $0.02.

[todreaminblue]

i dont know if selling something to someone is leadership but an object of a personal financial gain or venture of financially motivated involvement, leadership that pertains to an infomercial like stance to me isn't leadership savvy bit more salesman savvy.

to me and i am not one to step up for leadership when i am asked even .....but i often have been asked too......is to motivate people to become leaders in their own right so to work on creating leaders not selling something other than their own personal attributes and possibility of enhancement of.I dont have to be a leader to do that , i just have to motivate without added responsibility that leadership entails because it is actually a massive job

 

but I haven't read any leadership books, i dont have a high school diploma or am learned other than what was in me to begin with, and i might not be getting your question all that well, because it is not really crystal what your venture entails...what are you wanting your friends to step up too to and why..why do you consider this venture will be good for them what strengths do they have that you know of?

 

 

 

what are their weaknesses?

 

 

 

...i can see one weakness for you , you don't have their trust and that is huge for any leader, they have to implicitly trust you that if you go down with the ship you dont take them with you

 

 

to be a leader you know your teams weaknesses and you magnify strengths they have and put each person in a position of advancement by enhancement of personal strengths which makes limitations void....as i said massive job..i prefer to not be stressed so i dont take on leadership roles.i support leaders and magnify my teams stengths.deb

[Els]

And if it is for the long-run, you will need to offer ownership and rewards for them to take so much risk, if your idea is worth going for. You may have to convince them not just by telling them the idea, but showing them where you are, what you need and how close you are to creating a prototype. They will also enquire about financing-- most startup ideas die out or are put on hold because finding financing is so difficult.

 

Ah... yes, this, too.

 

When they found out that I'd gone into SE, a few old friends from high school and college came out of the woodworks and tried to invite me to join their startup team, because they needed a developer to realize their idea. I always listened to be polite (and to learn), but I also inevitably declined at the end. If I'm going to put my arse on the line and work without a paycheck, it's going to be for my own venture, not theirs. If I am going to be working under someone else, I'll darn well be wanting a guaranteed paycheck.

 

It's not about them not having 'sufficient leadership skills', it's just the nature of things.

[Kaiten]

I do have a working prototype. It still needs a bit of work though design-wise.

 

You are correct if you guessed that I am trying to do software for mobile and web.

 

What I am asking of my friends is that they either let me teach them how to make and design webpages or to let me teach them how to do branding and marketing so that I can leave that to them. (Because I would rather focus on the programming)

 

I've asked about 15 people. They've all done the thing where they act interested and then disappear. I do have something to show people, and they have all said it's a great idea and agree to help, but they just fizz out once the excitement is over; which is pretty much the next day.

 

I actually had one friend ask me like ten times if he could help with it. I didn't think he'd be a good fit, but after a while I was desperate for help so I decided to finally give him a chance. He gave up in less than 10 minutes.

[Kaiten]

I am asking people to work for free...

 

But there is a reason. Most of my friends would admit (even now) that they don't have anything much better to do with their spare time.

 

We all have one job and none of these jobs are strenuous in any way. It's just an investment of free time is what I am asking.

[Kaiten]

It's not about them not having 'sufficient leadership skills', it's just the nature of things.

 

That actually makes me feel a bit better. I've felt like there is something that I don't understand.

 

At least I can rest in the fact that if i stay on the track I'm on, that I will eventually figure this out.

[Kaiten]

If anything, you must find out why you are failing. Is it because the concept is too far out? Is it because you haven't had a tangible, strong and clear strategy in place?

 

How far along are you in college? Degrees are a signal that you have the competency and technical knowledge for you to operate in your capacity of whatever it might be. It would be more convincing to follow someone who had studied in a related field extensively, especially your idea is that coming from a STEM field.

 

I don't think the concept is too far out. Everyone has agreed that it's not nearly impossible and that it can be accomplished relatively quickly.

 

I started college, but I decided that it wasn't for me. It's just not. I have no intention of ever going back. I actually love the challenge that entrepreneurship gives.

 

I almost hate to say it...but I actually am turned on at the idea of accomplishing all this without a degree of any kind. I just can't get that idea out of my mind. It's foolish, I know.

[Els]

That actually makes me feel a bit better. I've felt like there is something that I don't understand.

 

At least I can rest in the fact that if i stay on the track I'm on, that I will eventually figure this out.

 

Yep, I think you should focus on doing what you can by yourself for now. It sounds like it's possible for you to do everything, it just takes longer - so start with that. Lots of startup founders have said that they did everything by themselves at the beginning, including the grunt work.

 

And draft a business/financial plan as jonsuh suggested. I think that once you get your product up and the ball rolling, it will be easier to get people to invest time or money in it (still not a guarantee, but easier).

 

I am considering getting my own venture off the ground once I'm done with grad school, too.

 

Good luck!

[todreaminblue]

I don't think the concept is too far out. Everyone has agreed that it's not nearly impossible and that it can be accomplished relatively quickly.

 

I started college, but I decided that it wasn't for me. It's just not. I have no intention of ever going back. I actually love the challenge that entrepreneurship gives.

 

I almost hate to say it...but I actually am turned on at the idea of accomplishing all this without a degree of any kind. I just can't get that idea out of my mind. It's foolish, I know.

 

 

 

What appeared to be laziness in class was really boredom. Rather than just memorizing facts and dates (the mainstay of classroom work), Einstein preferred to ponder questions such as what makes the needle of a compass point in one direction? Why is the sky blue? What would it be like to travel at the speed of light?

 

Unfortunately for Einstein, these were not the types of topics he was taught in school. Although his grades were excellent, Einstein found regular schooling to be strict and oppressive. Things changed for Einstein when he befriended Max Talmud, the 21-year-old medical student who ate dinner at the Einstein's once a week. Although Einstein was only eleven years old, Max introduced Einstein to numerous science and philosophy books and then discussed their content with him. Einstein flourished in this learning environment and it wasn't long until Einstein had surpassed what Max could teach him.

 

 

 

 

isn't it wonderful, that foolishness is not really something that matters,when, it is merely a perception of others, but, when that is someone whose personal perception of foolishness is in themselves,that fact is enough to build doubt to destroy something of worth, that could possibly be simply ....wonderful....nothing is impossible and anything is possible or as einstein would say ...if the facts dont fit the theory change the facts

 

 

I find it a necessity to state a wonderful thought you might appreciate

 

 

it took one dinner with a medical student called max with einstein being merely eleven to change thoughts in himself and it wasnt long before he surpassed that student who was ten years older than him.....correlation for me is dinner...lol i love dinners.....

 

 

never feel foolish .....that's for others to feel about you , you see something so go get it.......

 

i wonder what would have happened if albert had skipped dinner to sit under a tree and think himself foolish.....would anything be relative anymore...or be able to be related...scary thought...that the theory of relatvity might have been thought just a foolish pipe dream in some alternate reality ...isnt it?..if you try to think about how relatvity i sused....it does become scary ...thats why i beleive in god...lol...god thankyou for einstein.deb

Edited June 11, 2014 by todreaminblue

[jonsnuh]

I came across this article today.

 

NYTimes - ‘My Previous Bosses Are Now My Customers’

 

A very good read in today's current climate, although I think she had a lot of financial backing/capital that most people don't.

[Kaiten]

Thanks, Jonsnuh! Kinda cool that you came across that article and thought of me! It's really inspiring!

[jonsnuh]

Thanks, Jonsnuh! Kinda cool that you came across that article and thought of me! It's really inspiring!

 

I've always had a soft spot for entrepreneurs. Comes with the territory as a finance/accounting geek at a university known for producing startups. lol