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what does he want? does he even know?


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Old 23rd April 2014, 12:12 PM   #1
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what does he want? does he even know?

So.. I started working with this guy.. we'll call him Kyle. At my job there's only 2 people working at a time and since I had been there the longest, his first night was with me so I could train him. We got along really well and things went smoothly. A few nights later, he asked me to give him a ride from work to his friend's house and when we got there, he invited me to hang out for a few. I stayed for an hour or so and left. He texted me later saying I had been approved by his friends and that he wanted more one on one time with me as he felt a strong sexual attraction. I agreed with him and said I was looking forward to hanging out more. The next day, he apologized for saying these things and said he was sorry for being inappropriate. He said we should probably stick to being friends since he doesn't want things to go bad and him lose his job. I told him I understood. But that didn't stop the flirting at work. We still hang out all the time, even when one of us is off. But there's no physical contact aside from him resting his leg against mine when we're sitting and a long hug when I'm leaving. He calls me to vent during the day or ask me questions about work. He tells me he misses me and loves me and is always saying how awesome and sweet I am. That he loves hanging out with me. He said he liked the shirt I was wearing yesterday but that he could only focus on my boobs while I was wearing it. So what does he want? Maybe it's obvious and I'm just not seeing it. Or have I officially been friend zoned?
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Old 23rd April 2014, 7:48 PM   #2
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It's hard to know what's going on in his head Cherry.

I'm a little afraid you could be the victim of a brag.
I could see where he may have bragged to his buddies that he could get you.
Bringing you over was to prove it, then when you left they may have taunted him saying you weren't willing to sleep with him, so he sent you the sexy text and let them all read your reply?

I'm not saying this is what happened but it's a possibility? I've seen worse happen between men and women.
It could be he was totally honest with everything he said?

One thing for sure I wouldn't let this play out in the friend zone if that's not what you want. I'd pull away from letting him touch legs and I would be busy whenever he wants you to hang out. You don't have to be hateful or even confrontational just tell him you have somewhere to go or something to do. When he calls to vent tell him you are too busy to talk or are expecting an important call you have to take.

He's clearly not afraid of losing his job if he's keeping the flirting and physical contact up. So that was something of an untruth. Furthermore it jeopardizes your job too if you are flirting and touching.

There's no reason for you to give him all the attention he wants from you and you aren't getting your needs/wants met in return.

I've been in the friend zone more times than I care to remember and it just runs down your self-esteem and you waste brain-power trying to figure out what they want from you.

If he wants you he should come clean and tell you, otherwise he's stringing you along because it pumps up his ego.
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