MsNo1 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 We're both single and middle aged so I should know better. He touches on the arm, or will squeeze my shoulders if he is passing. If my hair is down (rarely) he touches it or twirls it around. He kissed me on the forehead to say goodbye this week (we were in the pub). I'm a bit confused by these signals. Am I reading it wrong because I am attracted to him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TalesoftheWireMonkey Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 We're both single and middle aged so I should know better. He touches on the arm, or will squeeze my shoulders if he is passing. If my hair is down (rarely) he touches it or twirls it around. He kissed me on the forehead to say goodbye this week (we were in the pub). I'm a bit confused by these signals. Am I reading it wrong because I am attracted to him? If you are both single why dont you match his flirtations? If he plays with your hair play with his ear. If he sqeezes your shoulder toy with his tie. Return his forehead kiss with one on the cheek. This non verbal communication will soon ramp up to obviousness or if he starts to back off then so can you. Are you afraid if he finds out you are interested and hes not you'll be stuck in an awkward work environment? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsNo1 Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Good advice although he generally makes his moves when I'm not able to do anything. Eg I was sitting down when he kissed me goodbye. He comes up from behind when he plays with my hair. I do lean into him if when he puts an arm over my shoulder but that's about all I get a chance to do. It's almost like he waits until I can't do anything. Why is that? I am afraid of embarrassing myself at work and living in awkwardville afterwards. He's quite new and is more senior than me but I don't work for or report to him. I've been there for 9 years and have worked hard to gain respect and get to where I am. I don't want to be the topic of gossip, and everyone will have an opinion. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TalesoftheWireMonkey Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 When he comes up from behind I'd reach back and grab a knee if you are sitting or playfully elbow him in the chest if you are standing. The forehead kiss seems pretty bold. I might hug or toy with the hair of a woman I like but have no romantic feelings for but I never lay my lips on anyone unless I'm in for the long haul. How were you at the pub together? Was it work related, did you agree to go there together or a happenstance meeting? My other question, do you see him making physical contact with the other ladies at work or in the pub? It could be he's just very touchy-feely or an incorrigible flirt? Otherwise if it seems he is doing this only with you he must like you a little or want something from you. I can understand your need to maintain your respect at work but if anyone has witnessed his physical contact with you I'm afraid dear, the gossip has already started! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsNo1 Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Interesting what you think about the kiss as I find the hair touching the most intimate. He invited me to the pub to celebrate with his team, but didn't invite the rest of my team. There aren't many ladies at work so I don't know if he's like this with everyone/a massive flirt. Gossip? No! Awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
TalesoftheWireMonkey Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 If he invited just you that sounds promising? He must have wanted you there in a celebratory atmosphere and didn't care if the rest of your team was along or not. IDK a lady once told me as long as I never kissed a girl I wasn't leading her on? We all do a lot of hair touching at our work and it doesn't seem terribly erotic. Intimate in a platonic way, yes. I have the counter experience to yours few men in a workplace full of women. Gossipy and awkward all day long! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsNo1 Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 I'll go to work early tomorrow and will ask him for help with my project (which I genuinely need) whilst touching his arm. I might even throw in a "come hither you sexy beast" look. Talesofthewiremonkey: I think the passive aggressive breast approach is a little OTT given it'll be 7am and we will be the only ones around!!! Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
TalesoftheWireMonkey Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Oh, that's hard to say without seeing you together? Personally I'm usually a bit randy in the morning, by afternoon I'm ready to get away from everyone at work even my crush. A morning flirt is something he will have to be distracted with all day. I'm hoping this is going to be something real for you now that you have put so much work into it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsNo1 Posted April 22, 2014 Author Share Posted April 22, 2014 Just in case you are interested. Lots of flirting, but haven't moved forward Link to post Share on other sites
TalesoftheWireMonkey Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Just in case you are interested. Lots of flirting, but haven't moved forward Oh my goodness gracious, of course I'm interested Hon! I check this thread 2 or 3 times a day to see if you are head over heels in love. Or a blubbering, embarrassed wreck whose furious at me for all that bad advice!!! :-O If the flirting is working I'd just lay back and enjoy it a while. Sometimes the best part is all the flirting leading up to someone actually playing their hand. It could be the two of you are going to be nothing more than some mutual admiration and ego-stroking, but doesn't that feel more exhilirating than gray days of sensible solitude dissolving into each other like a newspaper in the rain? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsNo1 Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 Hey - sorry I haven't posted for a few weeks but I've been super busy and have only been online using my ipad (I'm terrible at typing on that). Well, the flirting appears to be working and we both seem to be having fun. Only thing seems to be putting a spanner in the works is me! I received some news at work last week that took the wind out of my sails - my mentor who has nurtured my career and always been there for me called to say he is leaving the company (and offer me a job at his new one). When you get shocking news like that it takes a little while to sink in... 5 minutes later the one I like called me into a meeting room for a catch up and I got all emotional. Anyway, cut a long story short initally he said "it's sweet that I care about someone that is leaving me... has he offered you a job" [jealous???]. I said no comment - we had a long talk about my career aspirations (I want to start my own company in a few years) and he said if I stay he'll personally see to it that I get the type of experiences that will put me at the top of my game. I'm super ambitious and know this is a real opportunity secure my future and so I confirmed I will stay the next day after I had a chance to mull over everything (as I know my mentor will take me on whenever I'm ready to go). BTW - This was just after he came straight up to me in the middle of the open plan office and gave me a big hug . He's a bit of a go getter so by the Friday I was moved into his team but not reporting to him yet (only a matter of time). So the setting has changed, and I haven't worked so hard for so long to risk my reputation with our client/alienate colleagues/be the subject of gossip etc. I can't help but flirt with him (because I fancy the pants off him), but I keep blowing hot and cold e.g., last Friday he offered to drop me home. It wasn't nice to let him down (especially as I wanted him to). Confused.com. Anyway, I'm trying my hardest to do the right thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Hope you have fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Public displays of affection, at work ? Really ? I would be super cautious. Don't forget how much you worked for your reputation at work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsNo1 Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 Public displays of affection, at work ? Really ? I would be super cautious. Don't forget how much you worked for your reputation at work. I actually said 'people will talk'. #awkward Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 I was in a similar situation years ago, I was so infatuated by a coworker I almost lost my mind. In the end it backfired, oh yes, it did. And everyone could see it, a coworker of mine tried to warn me. Others made comments about the way i interacted with my coworker. People talked behind my back. Even if there wasn't much to talk about. Just some obvious flirting. But that's enough to have the gossips going... One day my coworker even gave me a massage at work, come on... it was so obvious he was hitting on me in a non respectful way. But I was on my little fluffy pink cloud, almost in love. The thing that saved me was the abrupt termination of my contract, and I woke up again. Take some distance eh ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsNo1 Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 Went to work today with the best of intentions only to find he wasn't there because his father is ill. We spoke in the morning (he called me sweetheart). I was miserable without him there. I don't think I'm strong enough to resist and I don't think my ambition should stop me from finding out if he is the one especially as I've got a job offer on the table if things don't work out. There is no point in being rich if you're not happy and haven't got someone to share it with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TalesoftheWireMonkey Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Glad you got back on here! I had been away a few days myself. Well, what an interesting series of developments. Did he call you "sweetheart" in a you are my sweetheart"" way or more of a sarcastic calls everybody sweetheart" way? Unless I misread you, It sounds like you have your mind made up? You are going after him and if it goes south you are jumping ship to your other job offer? Sure why not? At the end of your life will you look back on all the sensible professional things you did and how many hours you spent in the office or will you smile at the time you fell in love? Link to post Share on other sites
confusedOne14 Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Glad you got back on here! I had been away a few days myself. Well, what an interesting series of developments. Did he call you "sweetheart" in a you are my sweetheart"" way or more of a sarcastic calls everybody sweetheart" way? Unless I misread you, It sounds like you have your mind made up? You are going after him and if it goes south you are jumping ship to your other job offer? Sure why not? At the end of your life will you look back on all the sensible professional things you did and how many hours you spent in the office or will you smile at the time you fell in love? Well said Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Did he ask you on a date ? Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Well ladies I had something cute happened to me as well at work to LOL. A guy asked me about mine opinion on his looks and should he do change or not and I answered. Next time I saw him change was ON and he looked much better like that I commented on it and he said yeah I listen what you said see I did listen. As for work romances uh that hardly ever never is good if he is boss your job is on his whim if he is coworker any and I mean any issue you have someone will hear or see it. You just can't hide those stuff at least not for long ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsNo1 Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 Hey everyone, Just to let you all know not much has actually happened, but the flirting is still going on. We're both going on holiday so nothing to report until July at the earliest. xxx Link to post Share on other sites
TalesoftheWireMonkey Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Glad to hear you are still out there. I guess no news is not bad news. Maybe the holiday can be a time to clear your head a little. ...Or you may spend the whole time obsessing on him. Good luck and keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
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