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Can we be friends still???


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

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Old 15th April 2014, 2:33 PM   #1
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Smile Can we be friends still???

I work with this guy who I only noticed the past month or so. We had to work in the office for two weeks and got on really well. We would banter and flirt often but I thought it was harmless. A couple of weeks ago we got into a conversation and it came to light that he wanted to get close to me (emotionally and sexually I think), but that he wasn't ready for a relationship. I explained that I didn't want anything further than a friendship. It was awkward for a week but we got over it and was talking as we had done previously. I could tell there was still some chemistry between us but as we had cleared the air I didn't think much of it. We said we were going to meet up out of work for drinks but not never happened. Went of for drinks with workmates and ended up getting slightly drunk. We were joking a flirting a bit and holding hands briefly interlocking fingers, however on our way home on the tube we started kissing though it wasn't for a long time. I had put our behaviour down to just drunk behaviour and, was hoping we could still be cool like we have been before. But on returning to work it is so awkward and I could tell he's avoiding me. I messages him to try smooth things over saying that I hoped he wasn't avoiding me and he replied that it was just a drunk thing that happened and that "we both know it won't happened again". I agreed and thought things would return to normal.
I know he fancied me a bit and I did fancy him to but I am not looking to pursue anything with him and he said he was fine with that. Why is he still avoiding me and how long should I give him space so that it all blows over? He can be so hot and cold, one minute I think he likes me the next he goes all weird. Any advise would be appreciated
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Old 15th April 2014, 5:36 PM   #2
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Don't mess around with work people and socialize with them where alcohol is involved, simple as that... Your life will be a whole lot easier.
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Old 15th April 2014, 7:27 PM   #3
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You are sending mixed mesages which is even worse at work.

You know he likes you. You rejected the idea of a relationship yet you kissed him.

Date him or don't but pick a side of the fence & stay on it. It's not fair to play with someone's emotions.
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Old 20th April 2014, 7:52 PM   #4
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I do agree with what you are saying as I have always been against starting anything in the workplace due to the high potential of awkwardness should things go wrong. However the signals have been consistently mixed from this person. He expressed to me that he didn't want to date me but kept asking me out on numerous occasions, then he would ignore me, then he came on to me and initiated the kiss. I know I responded so I know I played a part to some extent. I am going to keep my distance now as I don't want things to become even more awkward than they are already but I was just quite confused as to why he would initiate a kiss and then start acting all odd. But I am going to stick to one side.
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