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Need life/job-seeking coaching. [Update]


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Going to come out with it straight up -- I'm a 32 year old bum. I do have an undergraduate degree in Economics but I have not had an OFFICIAL job since 2008 and NEVER looked. To be dead honest, I just didn't like working and I enjoyed being coddled and spoiled. To make matters worse, I'm living with my parents and they pay for all my expenses. Now, I want to change; my parents are retiring and leaving the country and I don't want to be a burden anymore. Obviously I can't progress in life without a job, so I've decided to start applying for a simple temp OR entry level job to make some money, gain experience, and maybe start studying for a MBA while I'm at it. But here is the problem:

 

I'm afraid I'd have to lie on my resume. I know it's a huge no-no but frankly, I don't see any other choice and I seriously don't think I can make any legitimate excuses for a 6 year unemployment gap. I did, however work for my ex-girlfriend's business in the UK for 6 months around mid-2010 months but it was unpaid. The business has since closed so I know there's no way they could background check that. But recently, I have come in contact with a family friend, who is a freelance market researcher with his own company. I told him my situation, and he agreed to let me use his company for my resume to fill in the recent gap. He would give me some of the work he has done, let me play around with some of his work projects so that I know what I'm talking about on a job interview should the interviewer ask me what I did with this guy. He said for me to tell the guy that I'm under a contract and that he pays me 200-300 dollars each day I work with him which would would be 2-3 times a week with some months I'd have no work. Question is if I'm just applying for temp jobs or entry level jobs that are non-government can they check in detail to see if I've actually worked there? My family friend is going to be my reference so would I be able to get away with this?

 

Yes I know it's bad to do this but honestly if I don't, I ain't getting a job with this unemployment gap and lack of experience. So I don't particularly want to hear any white knight responses about how I shouldn't lie and just give me some ways that I can circumvent this so that I can actually get a job, make some money and use that to figure out a career path to pursue. Let me know your thoughts thanks!

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It wouldn't be wrong to put down unpaid working experience or anything relevant that can help you. If the business no longer exists, I would simply find a valid reference you can use. I've helped my dad with his business off and on for several years and I have that on my resume as several years of working experience. In those instances, you simply tell them it was unpaid working experience or even volunteer work and use a reference. Many people have side or cash jobs at some point.

 

From my experience, yes employers can do employment checks. I recently faced this issue as two of my recent jobs were cash jobs on my resume. That can be challenging, but you might be able to work around it by saying it was unpaid work experience, but you will need a valid reference. Also, when employers do background checks, like in my case, they would just call up the employer and ask for the dates of employment, whether or not you're eligible for re-hire, job title and etc. If this family friend can answer those questions for you, you may be able to slide. However, a lot of companies also outsource employment verification and that information can be pulled from your background versus manually calling previous employers. But yes, to answer your question, whether or not they do employment checks depends on the employer. Very few jobs are entry level these days.

Edited by pink_sugar
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Never lie on your resume/CV - it will come back and bite you in the backside.

 

It wouldn't be wrong to put down unpaid working experience or anything relevant that can help you. If the business no longer exists, I would simply find a valid reference you can use. I've helped my dad with his business off and on for several years and I have that on my resume as several years of working experience. In those instances, you simply tell them it was unpaid working experience or even volunteer work and use a reference. Many people have side or cash jobs at some point.

 

^^^^^

 

This is good advice from pink sugar.

 

And start doing some unpaid voluntary work now to show you are serious about getting experience of life as well as getting into the employment market.

 

Good Luck.

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Never lie on your resume/CV - it will come back and bite you in the backside.

 

 

 

^^^^^

 

This is good advice from pink sugar.

 

And start doing some unpaid voluntary work now to show you are serious about getting experience of life as well as getting into the employment market.

 

Good Luck.

 

Exactly!

 

 

OP, if income isn't an issue for you, I would try and volunteer or find an internship (though a lot of those require you to be enrolled in school or have just finished).

 

If you would like to start earning money now, I would apply to jobs where experience isn't needed, such as retail. It's a great way to start establishing some independence until you can get a better job.

 

Employment agencies and temp work are also another good way to go.

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So I don't particularly want to hear any white knight responses about how I shouldn't lie

 

Advising you to not lie on your resume is not "white knighting." It's very sound advice, but between your last thread on this exact topic and this one, it's clear that you feel there is no way around lying.

 

It's almost like you're using this as an excuse not to look for work. "Well, I don't want to lie, but I have to lie, so I guess I just won't apply for any jobs ever." Either suck it up, lie, and possibly get caught, or take the advice lots of people have given you to get a job the honest way. Just pick one and run with it.

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Advising you to not lie on your resume is not "white knighting." It's very sound advice, but between your last thread on this exact topic and this one, it's clear that you feel there is no way around lying.

 

It's almost like you're using this as an excuse not to look for work. "Well, I don't want to lie, but I have to lie, so I guess I just won't apply for any jobs ever." Either suck it up, lie, and possibly get caught, or take the advice lots of people have given you to get a job the honest way. Just pick one and run with it.

 

I'm not looking for an excuse to not look for work. I've made a decision to lie so I'm asking people for insight on how I could put these fake "jobs" as. Try to soften the wrong I've chosen to commit. I have people to cover for me and all I have to do is simply call them and tell them if an employer is doing a background check.

 

In regards to the "white knight" response, not lying on the resume IS the right thing to do. No doubt about that. But having multiple posts of the SAME reply isn't going to help me. I've already decided that being honest on my resume will NOT get me a job. Hence, me asking how I can write these "positions" as.

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I refuse to help anyone blantantly lie on an employment document.

 

Here though is a thought, go into sales or marketing. The gift of fabricating and stretching the truth is their forte'.

 

Lying thru Omission is the oldest tool used. Ask a pharmaceutical rep! :)

 

So where is it written that you have to tell what you did during those "lost 6 years ". You don't. You simply have to "sell" yourself to the company your applying to. Sell them on your ambition to be an adult and be accountable. Sell them on your knowledge of your educational degree.

Since you havent really gotten out there in so long, you'll find that a business hires on integrity and honesty. Those are valuable traits that you can maintain thru out your life. You were honest with us strangers here, so thats a start. I wish your parents well in their change of scenery...Bless'm for being there :)

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There are significant costs to lying on your resume.

 

 

Give the state of the economy in the last several years the huge gap isn't as bad as it once was.

 

 

Try for a lesser job now & then after about 6 months of work, go for the dream jobs so those employers see that you are willing to work.

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I've made a decision to lie so I'm asking people for insight on how I could put these fake "jobs" as.

 

You want someone to spell out how to lie on a resume for you? I don't think you're going to get many takers. Besides, I don't think there are any, like, established techniques on resume-fakery or anything so I'm not really sure what you want people to tell you. Do you just want someone to coddle you and hold your hand through this?

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You want someone to spell out how to lie on a resume for you? I don't think you're going to get many takers. Besides, I don't think there are any, like, established techniques on resume-fakery or anything so I'm not really sure what you want people to tell you. Do you just want someone to coddle you and hold your hand through this?

 

If I don't get many takers that want to give me advice then I'll manage. If someone can give me some good insight that can circumvent it, great. If someone can give me some insight on how to possibly NOT lie on my resume and find work AWESOME.

 

Frankly, you being an insulting prick by assuming that I want to be coddled when I've given no indication I wanted my damn hand to be held doesn't help. So if you want to be d-bag then go exude your wrath on a more serious topic worth your time. Shouldn't be difficult unless being an Internet bully is one of your past-time hobbies.

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Thank you, I have to admit, I've been conflicted with this. But with you putting it this way, I will probably take this route, I just hope there will be companies out there that will hire on my motivation rather than what I look like on paper. Was just concerned that there wouldn't be any.

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I refuse to help anyone blantantly lie on an employment document.

 

Here though is a thought, go into sales or marketing. The gift of fabricating and stretching the truth is their forte'.

 

Lying thru Omission is the oldest tool used. Ask a pharmaceutical rep! :)

 

So where is it written that you have to tell what you did during those "lost 6 years ". You don't.

 

You definitely don't have to volunteer any information, but many employers will ask what you're currently doing, this can be easy to solve, just go out and volunteer somewhere such as an animal shelter or food bank to have something current on that resume. Opt for something you're passionate about...it may help you get your next job. Also it is common that employers will ask you to explain any unemployment gaps on an application...if they see you graduated several years ago and haven't worked since then, this may raise questions to an employer. I'm sure you've done something that you could add to your resume or use as an explanation. Think of any fillers you can to add on there. You can also just say you were caring for a relative...that might be easier than lying about employment.

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You definitely don't have to volunteer any information, but many employers will ask what you're currently doing, this can be easy to solve, just go out and volunteer somewhere such as an animal shelter or food bank to have something current on that resume. Opt for something you're passionate about...it may help you get your next job. Also it is common that employers will ask you to explain any unemployment gaps on an application...if they see you graduated several years ago and haven't worked since then, this may raise questions to an employer. I'm sure you've done something that you could add to your resume or use as an explanation. Think of any fillers you can to add on there. You can also just say you were caring for a relative...that might be easier than lying about employment.

 

No offense to the OP as its clear that he is now making a concerted effort to find employment. He had 6 years to volunteer or find his passion. Unless going to the gym is a passion then I do not see him showing signs of being a community type gent. My advice is actually tongue in cheek humor at the onset with a bit of reality thrown in on a technique. When interviewing its not necessary to play up the past void of employ or lack of. Just be forthright and step forward in where he see's himself and what goals he has for the company he is applying. He really would fair well to know a bit about the place he is applying, they like folks who study their business and what he can contribute.

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Frankly, you being an insulting prick by assuming that I want to be coddled

 

I didn't have to assume anything. I was going by what you've written. You said yourself that you liked being coddled.

 

And in your previous post, you came right out and said that you were "asking how I can write these 'positions' as." And that "I've made a decision to lie so I'm asking people for insight on how I could put these fake 'jobs' as." I don't think my subsequent questions (not assumptions) were out of line.

 

If you've changed your mind and are now open to trying ways other than lying, that's great! I'm happy to offer insight.

 

Here's my advice. Learn everything you can about how to list employment gaps on your resume - there's lots of info on google, because lots of people are in your shoes. Also do some research on interview techniques and common interview questions so you'll have an idea what to expect. When you get a call to interview, you could probably even google "Companyname interview questions" and see what other interviewees have been asked.

 

Or, and I'm completely serious about this, join a trade (carpentry, electrical, HVAC, etc) as an apprentice, or join the military. These are professions that typically don't mind all that much if you have a six year employment gap. The apprenticeships I'm familiar with pay pretty well, and after a couple/few years, you're a pro. And with the military, that solves your housing issue pretty much right away. You're still under the age cutoff for some branches of the military. Think about it?

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I didn't have to assume anything. I was going by what you've written. You said yourself that you liked being coddled.

 

And in your previous post, you came right out and said that you were "asking how I can write these 'positions' as." And that "I've made a decision to lie so I'm asking people for insight on how I could put these fake 'jobs' as." I don't think my subsequent questions (not assumptions) were out of line.

 

If you've changed your mind and are now open to trying ways other than lying, that's great! I'm happy to offer insight.

 

Here's my advice. Learn everything you can about how to list employment gaps on your resume - there's lots of info on google, because lots of people are in your shoes. Also do some research on interview techniques and common interview questions so you'll have an idea what to expect. When you get a call to interview, you could probably even google "Companyname interview questions" and see what other interviewees have been asked.

 

Or, and I'm completely serious about this, join a trade (carpentry, electrical, HVAC, etc) as an apprentice, or join the military. These are professions that typically don't mind all that much if you have a six year employment gap. The apprenticeships I'm familiar with pay pretty well, and after a couple/few years, you're a pro. And with the military, that solves your housing issue pretty much right away. You're still under the age cutoff for some branches of the military. Think about it?

 

CC12 has some pretty good advice here. I didn't think about the military, but it is a good option to get away from home and build yourself as a person. Since you have a bachelors degree, you can also travel abroad and teach English with your living and travel expenses paid. This would be a nice resume builder.

 

CC12, thanks for the info on googling the company and interview questions. I could definitely put this to use right now. :D

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CC12, thanks for the info on googling the company and interview questions. I could definitely put this to use right now. :D

 

Good luck, pink!

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I refuse to help anyone blantantly lie on an employment document.

 

Here though is a thought, go into sales or marketing. The gift of fabricating and stretching the truth is their forte'.

 

Lying thru Omission is the oldest tool used. Ask a pharmaceutical rep! :)

 

So where is it written that you have to tell what you did during those "lost 6 years ". You don't. You simply have to "sell" yourself to the company your applying to. Sell them on your ambition to be an adult and be accountable. Sell them on your knowledge of your educational degree.

Since you havent really gotten out there in so long, you'll find that a business hires on integrity and honesty. Those are valuable traits that you can maintain thru out your life. You were honest with us strangers here, so thats a start. I wish your parents well in their change of scenery...Bless'm for being there :)

 

 

 

 

He's not going to ever get a job if he tells the truth.

 

 

No one is ever going to hire him if he admits to a 6 year gap off work.

 

His only option would be to get a job as a food server or waiter or in low end retail, while he furthers his studies and gains a better qualification.

 

I've been a bit of a bum for a few years. I'd NEVER just admit that to a prospective employer.

 

I want to work hard for a living. Sadly, wanting to work hard is not enough to get someone a job if you have not worked for years.

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He's not going to ever get a job if he tells the truth.

 

 

No one is ever going to hire him if he admits to a 6 year gap off work.

 

His only option would be to get a job as a food server or waiter or in low end retail, while he furthers his studies and gains a better qualification.

 

I've been a bit of a bum for a few years. I'd NEVER just admit that to a prospective employer.

 

I want to work hard for a living. Sadly, wanting to work hard is not enough to get someone a job if you have not worked for years.

 

I know someone who did it, got laid off of her job and it took over 5 years to find another decent one. Though she did have a side business during that entire time and worked a few months in a retail establishment taking a huge paycut. She had a hard time finding other work for quite some time. However, she can at least explain the gap with her self employment, but usually you need a 1099 to prove it in the event they want to verify employment history.

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There's nothing wrong with this.

 

 

 

I never said there was.

 

However, he will not have a good quality of life is those are the only jobs he will EVER get interviews for.

 

With a 6 year gap and for no honourable or legitimate reason, the OP will NEVER. And I mean NEVER get an interview for a job at a professional level. It just won't happen. People who have had no gaps in employment and are good at their jobs are getting shut down.

 

He can, however, get a job as a food serve, waiter, retail worker at a low end store (upscale stores need attractive and experienced staff), AND attend college.

 

The OP needs to get another degree OR update his current degree with a shorter course or, better yet, a masters.

 

 

 

My advice if you want to NOT lie about the 6 year gap:

 

- go back to school to make your qualifications more venerated and relevant

- work as a food serve or low skilled job that will hire you in spite of your shocking 6 year gap

- do plenty of VOLUNTEER WORK while at college (or whatever other learning qualification you are working towards).

 

 

 

 

 

Here in Australia, waiters, retail workers and cleaners who clean poo from the toilets NEED experience.

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I am not sure what it is like in the USA, however...

 

 

Here in Aussie land, almost EVERY job that is advertised for a waitress requires AT LEAST 2 - 5 years experience.

 

 

You cannot just walk in and get a job here as a food serve or retail worker; only a lot of experience will get you the job, OR, if you are exceptionally good looking, well spoken and well presented.

 

 

Where I live, you cannot even walk into the most low skilled work and expect a job; EVERY employer WILL ask for experience UNLESS you are stunningly gorgeous OR you actually know someone that works there...

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@CC Actually I've taken your advice and decided to apply for a temp agency with my real resume and they want to interview me and find me some temp work for the time being.

 

When I was in the UK, I DID actually do work and help my ex-girlfriend's business for about 6 months before she decided to close, I did manage to sell some of her products online after that so around 12/2010, I started bumming around. So in actuality it's roughly 3 years. I did take some programming classes during my bumming time as well as going abroad to learn another language for 6 months but that's about it.

 

Because most of my relatives lives abroad, I think I'd have to tell them I was living outside the US to take care of a relative for those few years and decided I want to come back and start working cause I want to build a future here in the US. I think with a temp job doing clerical/data entry it's not going to be a big deal considering you don't need experience for those types of work. Hell their "interview" is really just a typing test then match you with a job from what I've been told so I don't really need to go on any formal interviews.

 

Afterwards, I might follow my younger brother's path which is to pursue Ad-Trafficking which is a very hot career and is entry level with no experience required. But I'd like to work at the temp job for a while so then I'd feel more comfortable sending in a real resume.

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@CC Actually I've taken your advice and decided to apply for a temp agency with my real resume and they want to interview me and find me some temp work for the time being.

 

When I was in the UK, I DID actually do work and help my ex-girlfriend's business for about 6 months before she decided to close, I did manage to sell some of her products online after that so around 12/2010, I started bumming around. So in actuality it's roughly 3 years. I did take some programming classes during my bumming time as well as going abroad to learn another language for 6 months but that's about it.

 

Because most of my relatives lives abroad, I think I'd have to tell them I was living outside the US to take care of a relative for those few years and decided I want to come back and start working cause I want to build a future here in the US. I think with a temp job doing clerical/data entry it's not going to be a big deal considering you don't need experience for those types of work. Hell their "interview" is really just a typing test then match you with a job from what I've been told so I don't really need to go on any formal interviews.

 

Afterwards, I might follow my younger brother's path which is to pursue Ad-Trafficking which is a very hot career and is entry level with no experience required. But I'd like to work at the temp job for a while so then I'd feel more comfortable sending in a real resume.

 

 

 

pfffffft wtf. In Australia, you absolutely cannot even be considered for temp jobs/ data entry UNLESS you have a degree OR, unless you have AMPLE experience at a computer based job, such as a receptionist.

 

It sounds so easy to get work over there.

 

I type at break neck speed yet I wouldn't even be considered for a temp job.

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I do have a bachelors degree in Economics and I graduated in 2005 and have had work experience. Hell I worked at Bloomberg. But I was young, hopped around from job to job cause I hated working and started bumming after 2010. I regret my terrible work ethic because by now I should be well into a career but I'm not, I have to start from scratch.

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