Co worker playing dumb?

[Karasmatic]

I complained to management about co worker because she has been bullying me.

 

Then after they spoke to her about it. She claims that she does not know what she is doing to offend me and would like to have another meeting with everyone to discuss it.

 

I just thought. How could she not know? She has been complained about for similar reasons before (cries when this happens as well), other people in the office see it and have made comments to me about it.

 

She knows I hate confrontation as well. It is probably one of the main reasons why she picks on me.

 

Why do this? I just wanted her to stop acting that way towards me and respect me more and leave it like that. Sigh.

 

I just know when this happens. She is going to play victim again. .

[preraph]

She's lying b*tch, that's why. What you need is witnesses. Take one and stand them nearby anytime you know you need to have an interaction with her. She's the type that is super nice to bosses and then bullies people she wants to climb over. I hate that! Anytime you complain about her, have super specific things she said or did. Write them down, but keep it short. Just a quote here an action there.

[Karasmatic]

Oh. I have plenty of witnesses. I even named them to my Supervisors.

 

Weird thing is she can be nice at times but then cuts you down again. I am nice to her regardless of how she treats me because it is a workplace. Really do have to bite my tongue at times. .

 

That is so true. She is super nice to the Supervisors.

 

She also creates dramas over the smallest things. Like how I put my bag next to me where I sit, instead of in my desk. I do use my desk for other things lol.

 

It has gotten that ridiculous people in the office have started to joke about her to me.

 

When 2 of my other co workers saw her go into talk to our Supervisors. They could not help but laugh even. They knew what it was about and that she deserved it.

 

She came out crying of course. After being pulled up on her behaviour. I would put money on it that she will cry when I talk to her face to face in our next meeting as well. I am usually sympathetic to people but when what they say is partly unreasonable bull**** I don't.

 

I remember her grumbling about her chair the other day. She suspected someone "had moved it's height" and was moaning about it. Our Supervisor got sick of her behaviour and probably more aware of it now because of me and spoke up saying "well, just be glad that your chair is actually in the room and you still have it."

 

She reports the smallest things to the Supervisor as well which are irrelevant. Talks down to people. Makes you feel dumb if you repeat questions you should already know the answer to. Sometimes it's good to be reminded about something. It should not matter if you have to ask a question again to someone.

 

Shoving chairs in aggressively when you are still sitting in there is another thing. When she thinks you are to far out. Sometimes not even by much. .

 

Stops the whole room from talking to each other. Whispers to people to stop talking to certain people. I was joking around with someone on Friday and she pulled me away from there and made me sit somewhere else.

 

It is like she thinks you can't talk and work at the same time. When she was on holidays. The atmosphere in the room was much more relaxed. We were all talking and joking around and still got our work done. .

 

It was so quiet the week she came back. You could hear a pin drop in the room lol.

 

Just ranting a bit more.

 

Oh I will do that. Thanks for the tip.

Edited January 26, 2014 by Karasmatic

[d0nnivain]

Have you ever spoken to her about it or did you run straight to HR? This is business not grade school.

 

 

The next time she complains about where you put your bag, loudly look over at her and verbally remind her that your bag placement does not effect your work production or hers but that if she spent more time on her job & less worried about where you place your belongings, the company would be better off. Document every interaction you have with her with a quick email, to her only but keep a copy.

 

 

If she was actually complaining aloud that somebody changed the height of her chair rather than just fixing it & going about her job, management ought to fire her. Who needs that BS when there is work to be done?

 

 

I took over as management of a company. Everybody told me these two managers didn't get along but they were "irreplaceable". Shortly after I started this BS arose about who's turn it was to change the toilet paper in the ladies' room. I kid you not. Other members of the team wanted to hire a mediator to help them "work out their issues." This would have cost thousands of dollars. I called both women into my office & set a clock. I reminded them of their individual responsibilities & how much they were being paid to do these jobs. Then I looked at the clock calculated how much the time the 3 of us had been together cost & told them that I thought they were both spoiled little divas & if I heard one more peep out of either of them about petty BS they were both fired. Both were delightful, productive employees from thereafter.

 

 

This is work people. Act professionally. Your bosses are not your therapists.

[preraph]

Oh, great, she goes so far as to elicit sympathy by crying. There are studies where males will believe a woman who is crying is sincere over a woman who is staying composed, so that tactic does work. I would certainly bring it up next time you complain and say something like, "I hope that when she bursts into tears when you talk to her, you will take into consideration that many callous things she does to others and perhaps weigh that in when considering her sincerity." Let them know her tears are out of proportion and out of character given her overall nature. Don't come right out and say they're being manipulated because that will make them defensive.

[Tayla]

I feel for your situation, for I have dealt with this in my workplace. The only thing that works in my environment is total ignoring of her. I call it "static" when she tries to manipulate and control others. Going to manage, which you have done is moot. She will continue her antics. Once you have the devil in your pocket though, you'll find things somewhat tolerable. Basically once you are aware, you have choices ...one being, ignore her or be extremely brief in response ( yes or no answers). I disagree with keeping a log. Keep your opinions of her away from any earshot of co workers, you'd be amazed at how when the chips are down and they "need" their job that they will turn on you. I no longer allow her name or any comments on her accounts to be uttered in my presences. I walk away and tell them to write it down and place it in the order box. Brief and professional. The less ammunition she has the easier it is to be honest with the powers that be. You can be respectful, but nice? Augh, folks like that consider your being Nice as a weakness....Trust me, respect yourself, keep your chin up but being nice is a girly thing, unlike guys, they are rarely "nice" to folks in business whom they have little regard for, instead they ignore them and prove who is the pack leader.

[Karasmatic]

D0nnivain

 

I just went straight to management. I have tolerated her behaviour for years. Just over it now and want just want more respect from her.

 

I am not the negative one. I always treat her the same. No matter how she talks to me (maybe that is part of the problem), I am always friendly to her.

 

I would be fine with her, if she was not so negative towards me. I did not even want there to be a meeting where I had to discuss this with her.

 

I just wanted her to be aware of her behaviour towards others, especially me (because it seems to be worse with me). Then stop acting this way with me. That's it. I did not want it to go any further. That was her doing not mine. .

 

I hate drama. I would never complain over small things like where handbags are kept, if chairs are not in enough or high enough. All I want to do is my job. None of this is coming from me.

 

Our boss even encouraged me to make a complaint, so I know that what I am doing is not a petty thing.

 

I think that when a co worker talks down to you and tries to make you look like you can't do anything to everyone. That is what the main problem is. I agree that all the other stuff is just petty stuff and that is what some of the stuff she goes on about is. Examples of her pettiness.

 

Preraph

 

I wonder if I should mention before the meeting that I don't even see a point of why we are even here.

 

She is going to cry once I start stating what is going on and the whole situation is going to be manipulated to her advantage and things will go back to the way they have always been.

 

This woman has been through this before. It always ends that way.

 

Should I email one of the Supervisors and explain this before the meeting even starts?

 

Tayla

 

Oh believe me. I do ignore her. As soon as I get a whiff of her behaviour again. I avoid her the rest of the day because I don't want to deal with it.

 

I honestly believe she sees my niceness as a weakness. I have always been nothing but respectful and friendly to her so I don't know what her problem with me is?

 

This is what makes the whole thing so odd.

 

I really want to tell the Supervisor's not to go ahead with the meeting as I honestly believe it will be a waste of time because of what I mentioned from above.

 

Should I mention that?

[Karasmatic]

Chopstickz

 

Oh god no I would never get the whole group involved. .

 

Yeah let's hope so.

[preraph]

Yes, you should email or speak to a supervisor beforehand and tell them that you always hesitate to try to do anything about it because the way she always gets her way is to cry and make you look like the bad guy. Ask for assurances that if you complain, she will not be given the benefit of the doubt over you simply because she's teary. Also, -- and this worked for me -- if you have been there longer than her, remind them you have seniority and they ought to be believing you over her and that you haven't given them reason to doubt you.

[preraph]

P.S. Because my supervisor and the one over him were both partial to my particular lying work b*tch, I had to go to the owner to get it to stop -- and I told him she flattered them and brought them presents, too.

[Tayla]

Karasmatic- I mean this in the best of light, You have wasted more energy and time on this pesky person then necessary. She is so not worth your valuable time. Keep any thoughts or actions about her to a minimum. I am a true beleiver in working thru differences, but it takes the other person to also "work" thru it. Which this gal isn't capable of doing. She lacks the ability and uses her energy in negative ways. Keep her at walls length . I wish you well in moving past this, you seem fairly reasonable in your work ethics.

[bubbaganoosh]

A friend of mine worked at Home Depot and had a supervisor who did nothing and belittled him. He needed his job just like everyone else does but when he complained to the manager, it got a first class rug sweeping and then it started again.

 

After it got to a point where he was at the end of his rope, he went to the HR manager and let it be known that since no one wants to curb this supervisors mouth and behavior, he told the HR that he was filing a harassment suit against the supervisor and the store for not providing a proper work environment and he gave it them in letter form also and asked that it be put in his file.

 

It stopped real quick because they didn't ant some long drawn out law suit which would be a blemish on management and cost money.

 

The supervisor was sent to another store and a year later fired.

[preraph]

I can tell you from experience that if these type people have any allies in upper management they can destroy your career. Now, if they do not have management they're successfully sucking up to and getting preferential treatment and them taking her word over other people's who are getting in trouble, then I agree it's not worth the worry. But if she's working your bosses, better nip it in the bud.