Iaminnocentgul Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Hello, I work in corporate industry which doesn't involve much of external world interactions. I do interact within my team members. My approach to them is friendly and gentle. Also I wear what I like. Of course business casual but I wear everything from dresses to skirts to trousers and all with different colors. I don't like to be type cast. But I have observed that from the time I have changed my outlook and started been friendly people are now talking to me more friendly. Also they find me attractive and beautiful. Recently I got an anonymous mail saying that guy finds me attractive and wants to meet me in showers.. I didn't like that because after this mail I think people are taking me as sex object only. They talk only because I look good and I am friendly. What should I do? Should I stop talking or should I stop wearing what I like...? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 The true corporate world has it's own strict dress code & if you violate that code before you proved yourself you will be viewed as less than you are. That strict dress code traditionally involves dark colors. Just because one person sent you an inappropriate text does not necessarily mean your whole team thinks of you as a sex object. You do need to decline the invitation to the showers & make it clear to that person that the advance was unwelcome, unprofessional & gross. If you have a mentor in the company you may want to think about asking that person for help with your overall image. If you don't have a mentor in the company, consider asking a former college prof or investing in the services of a business coach. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iaminnocentgul Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 The true corporate world has it's own strict dress code & if you violate that code before you proved yourself you will be viewed as less than you are. That strict dress code traditionally involves dark colors. Just because one person sent you an inappropriate text does not necessarily mean your whole team thinks of you as a sex object. You do need to decline the invitation to the showers & make it clear to that person that the advance was unwelcome, unprofessional & gross. If you have a mentor in the company you may want to think about asking that person for help with your overall image. If you don't have a mentor in the company, consider asking a former college prof or investing in the services of a business coach. I have obviously said strict NO to that person.. Secondly, I have to ask that if I was inappropriate than at least my manager would have said NO to what I wear. He never told me anything bad. In fact he always compliments me for what I wear and tells that I have brought color in office. But he does say sometimes that I shouldn't spend money on clothes, jokingly In fact he compares me with his wife and says that I and his wife have loads of shoes and dresses, and that he is fed up from both of us because of our shopping spree.. Link to post Share on other sites
Iguanna Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I think that we all should be free to behave and dress the way we like, given of course that this is in the boundaries of the work code. Do not let other people's opinions and bad behaviors influence how you feel and act. Wearing colorful colors does not make you "not serious" and people who don't respect you are to blame for this. Show that you are serious girl with your behavior and people will take the message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iaminnocentgul Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 I think that we all should be free to behave and dress the way we like, given of course that this is in the boundaries of the work code. Do not let other people's opinions and bad behaviors influence how you feel and act. Wearing colorful colors does not make you "not serious" and people who don't respect you are to blame for this. Show that you are serious girl with your behavior and people will take the message. You are just so correct.. You know what.. Till the time I was reserved in my dressing and behavior people never shared information with me. Trust me, its true. After change in my avatar - looks and behavior (because I needed some change in my life), then people started popping their eyes and talking to me friendly. They started helping me and sharing information. But I feel during important discussion, they always look below my shoulders and think that I don't carry anything on my shoulders.... Even if I make sense.. Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Post a pic of your outfit we need evidence 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iaminnocentgul Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Post a pic of your outfit we need evidence Now you are talking like one of them... Anyways I think if my boss has not commented, its worth not to talk about it anymore. I posted because I was really upset on the way I got anonymous mail. Thanks to all for their replies. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 the title of your post was that you weren't being taken seriously. If that feeling was from the mail & you shut that down. If the feeling comes from more than that you have a choice. Continue to assert your individuality or conform to the more traditional dress code (at least tone down your individuality). I'm not saying you have to. It's your choice. But honesty if you feel like people don't take them seriously, give a bit more thought to the 1st impression you make. Just because your boss hasn't said your clothes are inappropriate (a commentary that won't be made unless you are practically wearing club clothes to work) that doesn't mean your boss approves of your choices. If your boss is questioning your fashion choices you can bet s/he is also questioning your competency & whether you can be promoted. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Let me just say if you are waiting for a male supervisor to tell you your dress is too revealing, don't hold your breath. But just because they won't doesn't mean your dress isn't too revealing and that it is being well noted amoung personnel. I have no idea if it is or not. Just saying. Don't wear anything that really shows your curves. Don't wear anything that accentuates your bosom, is the least bit low-cut. All it does is distract people, earn resentment from some and leering disrespect from others. Don't wear a tunic and tights. Put a skirt on too. Dress however you want when you're not around fellow employees, of course. Although I agree women should be able to dress how they want, it is not to their advantage to present sexiness at work. It just isn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I was only kidding but it seems you get too upset easily... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts