I have a big decision to make...

[D-Lish]

I've been offered an opportunity at work that I'm not sure I'm ready for. I'm qualified - but I'm not sure if I'm ready emotionally.

 

A little background... I have a lot of management experience, from entry level management to area management- and some positions in between (retail related). My last job was a very sales oriented position. I quickly progressed from running two of their stores to handling 5. My boss was a horrible woman. She loved to scream and yell and humiliate people- myself included. The way she abused people was outrageous. Words can't convey how stressful that job was. I endured two years of going to work every day so stressed out that my hair started falling out and I was barely able to eat or sleep. Just an overall terrible experience. I walked out one day and never looked back.

 

After that I went on to do merchandising contract work for new store openings. I really enjoyed doing that. I'd work 80 hours a week putting a store together for the grand opening- then move on to the next contract.

 

Fast forward to now. I took an entry level job and a huge cut in pay in order to have something steady. It's been so nice to come home every day and not take my job with me. I do my job, I do it well, I've made lots of friends, I have amazing bosses- and the feeling of not having serious responsibility has been just what I've needed given my last experience.

 

I'm happy, I'm content, but there is just a natural part of me that can't help but lead. I bust my butt for them, I take on extra projects, I lead those projects, I direct people informally. People that have worked at the company for 10 years gravitate to me for guidance on their projects and come to me for direction. It's like I'm managing without the title- and I've been content doing so- I don't feel the stress of responsibility and I don't have the accountability that comes with a title.

 

My bosses have now approached me about fast-tracking into management. This is a huge, flourishing company- the opportunities are pretty endless. On the flip-side, I could remain as I am and still make really decent money (eventually, it takes time to work your way to a top wage) with full benefits- without the stress of being in charge again.

 

I don't know what to do. I was so caught off-guard by the offer today that I don't think I handled the meeting very well. Just having bosses praise me for my hard work, saying they appreciate it, and offering to reward me is foreign to me. I'm used to giving it my all and being asked to do more without compensation or recognition.

 

I just don't know if I'm ready yet- and I was honest about that with them- I think they were somewhat disappointed by my response. I am really struggling with wanting to go above and beyond what I am doing now, and enjoying a break from having responsibility and accountability.

 

Sorry this is so long- any thoughts would be appreciated.

[pink_sugar]

Sounds like you made the right decision for yourself right now. I've known people who have passed up big promotions, because of all the stress and responsibility it would entail. Sometimes the big paycheck isn't worth it if you're working yourself to death and never have time for your family or to relax. Sounds like you made the right decision. If you're still unsure, you can always make a list of pros and cons to this promotion and see what outweighs the other. Just be sure that it isn't fear that is making you pass up the opportunity. That could lead to regret.

[D-Lish]

Sounds like you made the right decision for yourself right now. I've known people who have passed up big promotions, because of all the stress and responsibility it would entail. Sometimes the big paycheck isn't worth it if you're working yourself to death and never have time for your family or to relax. Sounds like you made the right decision. If you're still unsure, you can always make a list of pros and cons to this promotion and see what outweighs the other. Just be sure that it isn't fear that is making you pass up the opportunity. That could lead to regret.

 

Thanks PS:love:

 

I don't have a husband, boyfriend or children- so I basically put most of my time and effort into work- I always have.

 

I think I just need a little more time to think about this. I was truly caught off guard by the meeting and the conversation.

 

I can't help but think of the money. I also know I will get bored if I remain where I am now. I do need a challenge.

 

It sort of feels like what I am doing now is a vacation of sorts. In the back of my mind I feel like I have to start thinking about putting my big-girl pants back on and go back to work.

[gaius]

It sounds like a much healthier environment than your last job if they can so aptly identify and reward talent. I wish all organizations were that healthy.

 

I think there's only one real choice and you already know what it is.

[firemanq]

Think what you want/need from the job. Write down what you need in the way of compensation, benefits, your expectations of the job and the positive and negative aspects of the job.

 

 

Then go to the people who have already expressed confidence in your ability. Talk to them, tell them the past history and how it affected you. Tell them your doubts and ask if they will help you fullfull your job requirements. Ask them what their expectations are and how both parties can work towards a common goal. Tell them if you cannot handle the job, you will have a choice of return in to whatever you do now. Or they give you 2 weeks severance pay and look for a new job with the glowing recommendation they give you. The impression I get is that they want you to fill the position and they are willing to help you.

 

 

I think of every time that I took the chance, and within 2 weeks thought I made a horrible mistake. I toughed it out and in 2 months I had increased my department profits and reduced costs. I found the new challenges made me a better person, and a better employee. And I was more confident, which lead to more professional and personal happiness.

[Grumpybutfun]

I am a natural leader also and no matter what my intentions are going into something I end up leading it or saving it. I already retired from one career and we would have been just fine but I was approached by an engineering firm which I am basically the Director of now and they keep wanting me to do more and take on this and that. My wife says to me, why can't you be just mediocre so we can have more time together and I try, I really do, but there is something in me that must fix and excel. I am working on it though and work very hard not to work so hard.

This is a big opportunity and it sounds like your management teams has it together. That is a good thing, plus would you really be doing much more than you are right now without the pay and title? However, living your life and enjoying those moments are important too. I am learning about being present and being in the moment and I have actually scaled back from doing everything and just enjoying my weekends at home with my family. Maybe you need to focus on you and your own happiness right now, and let them know that you might be interested in the future. I understand why this is such a tough choice.

Good luck,

Grumps

[D-Lish]

It sounds like a much healthier environment than your last job if they can so aptly identify and reward talent. I wish all organizations were that healthy.

 

I think there's only one real choice and you already know what it is.

 

It really is a good company- and it's a huge company. I was treated pretty badly in my last job- and it's refreshing to get praise. I took on a pretty big project last week, and I completed it- worked 8 days in a row to get it done. On my day off, I got texts from 3 of my bosses thanking me.

 

I've never had that- as I've said, I'm used to being taken for granted, and certainly taken advantage of.

 

I do know I will eventually get back on the management train- it's just a matter of when I'm ready to do so.

 

Think what you want/need from the job. Write down what you need in the way of compensation, benefits, your expectations of the job and the positive and negative aspects of the job.

 

 

Then go to the people who have already expressed confidence in your ability. Talk to them, tell them the past history and how it affected you. Tell them your doubts and ask if they will help you fullfull your job requirements. Ask them what their expectations are and how both parties can work towards a common goal. Tell them if you cannot handle the job, you will have a choice of return in to whatever you do now. Or they give you 2 weeks severance pay and look for a new job with the glowing recommendation they give you. The impression I get is that they want you to fill the position and they are willing to help you.

 

 

I think of every time that I took the chance, and within 2 weeks thought I made a horrible mistake. I toughed it out and in 2 months I had increased my department profits and reduced costs. I found the new challenges made me a better person, and a better employee. And I was more confident, which lead to more professional and personal happiness.

 

There is a standard package for all employees- my company handbook lists the benefits, rate of pay increases, pay scales, vacations, etc for most positions. There isn't room for negotiations- but their packages are way more than fair.

 

Management pay isn't listed in the handbook but my direct boss told me I'd more than triple my pay in his position. I'd double my pay to jump to supervisor- which is the first line of management.

 

You know, I'm getting personal satisfaction out of doing what I'm doing now, but I'm in my comfort zone in the department I'm in- so of course I'm going to stand out more than others. I might have to cross over into unchartered (and uncomfortable) territory in order to move up the ladder.

 

I don't mind a challenge, but I have already jumped through hoops in my career to move up the food chain- including doing things I wasn't comfortable with, or frankly all that successful at.

 

My director asked me how hungry I am with regards to my career with the company. I told him I am not hungry- perhaps more cautiously ambitious, meaning I think I've earned the right through past experiences to not have to jump through more hoops. In other words, I may have limited experiences within the company I am with now- but I've put in my time elsewhere, and know through trial and error where my skills lie.

 

I'm just not willing to jump through more hoops, not at my age (40).

 

I am a natural leader also and no matter what my intentions are going into something I end up leading it or saving it. I already retired from one career and we would have been just fine but I was approached by an engineering firm which I am basically the Director of now and they keep wanting me to do more and take on this and that. My wife says to me, why can't you be just mediocre so we can have more time together and I try, I really do, but there is something in me that must fix and excel. I am working on it though and work very hard not to work so hard.

This is a big opportunity and it sounds like your management teams has it together. That is a good thing, plus would you really be doing much more than you are right now without the pay and title? However, living your life and enjoying those moments are important too. I am learning about being present and being in the moment and I have actually scaled back from doing everything and just enjoying my weekends at home with my family. Maybe you need to focus on you and your own happiness right now, and let them know that you might be interested in the future. I understand why this is such a tough choice.

Good luck,

Grumps

 

I can tell that you get my dilemma and I appreciate your input. I did let them know that I want to think about things a little further before giving them a definitive answer.

 

I'm still enjoying my vacation from management, I'm in my element with regard to what I'm doing now. I'd potentially have to step outside my comfort zone to move up.

[preraph]

Would your supervisors that you like so much still be your supervisors? Would it mean way more hours and take up your entire life? Those are the two things I would consider most. If you get a boss you love, NEVER let anyone take you out from under their wing. If you are working with people who like you, and there's a chance you'd go from that to working with people who resent you (did they promote you over someone already in that department? If so, you will have enemies), then pass it up. If, however, it's within the same group and no one's nose is going to get out of joint if you move up and you keep your nice supervisors and it's not going to take up your entire life where you can't ever have a personal life, then by all means go for it.

[D-Lish]

Would your supervisors that you like so much still be your supervisors? Would it mean way more hours and take up your entire life? Those are the two things I would consider most. If you get a boss you love, NEVER let anyone take you out from under their wing. If you are working with people who like you, and there's a chance you'd go from that to working with people who resent you (did they promote you over someone already in that department? If so, you will have enemies), then pass it up. If, however, it's within the same group and no one's nose is going to get out of joint if you move up and you keep your nice supervisors and it's not going to take up your entire life where you can't ever have a personal life, then by all means go for it.

 

Some would become my equals, others would remain my superiors. Most likely I'd either go to a new store and deal with new people, or fill a position left vacant by some of my promoted bosses. The company itself is a good company to work for.

 

I'm already resented by the odd person here and there for being a really hard worker. I'm not worried about stuff like that or people like that. I get along with people really well at work for the most part. I'm already informally running my department and people that have been working there for years just come to me for guidance.

 

I lead effortlessly, and I don't want such a statement to sound conceited- because I can't pinpoint what quality I have that makes me a natural leader. I'm often a reluctant leader. I'm no more or less confident than the next person.

 

In my personal life I am a bit messy- but I excel in a work related environment.

 

I'm thinking I'm going to give it another 6 months before making a decision.

[UpwardForward]

Some would become my equals, others would remain my superiors. Most likely I'd either go to a new store and deal with new people, or fill a position left vacant by some of my promoted bosses. The company itself is a good company to work for.

 

I'm already resented by the odd person here and there for being a really hard worker. I'm not worried about stuff like that or people like that. I get along with people really well at work for the most part. I'm already informally running my department and people that have been working there for years just come to me for guidance.

 

I lead effortlessly, and I don't want such a statement to sound conceited- because I can't pinpoint what quality I have that makes me a natural leader. I'm often a reluctant leader. I'm no more or less confident than the next person.

 

In my personal life I am a bit messy- but I excel in a work related environment.

 

I'm thinking I'm going to give it another 6 months before making a decision.

 

From what you've said, in time you may become a floater? One who oversees many stores? Could they be grooming you for this?

Edited January 23, 2014 by UpwardForward

[D-Lish]

From what you've said, in time you may become a floater? One who oversees many stores? Could they be grooming you for this?

 

The company is expanding so rapidly, there will be many upper level management positions to be filled down the road.

 

The person that oversees many stores is a regional manager. That would require a really long tenure in a variety of in-store upper level positions to get to a position like that. I wouldn't aspire to go that high up and wouldn't meet any requirements to do so.

 

I was an area manager in a past job- and I had 3-6 stores in that position - small stores, maybe 50-60 people underneath me. There are over 500 people in my building alone.

[UpwardForward]

The company is expanding so rapidly, there will be many upper level management positions to be filled down the road.

 

The person that oversees many stores is a regional manager. That would require a really long tenure in a variety of in-store upper level positions to get to a position like that. I wouldn't aspire to go that high up and wouldn't meet any requirements to do so.

 

I was an area manager in a past job- and I had 3-6 stores in that position - small stores, maybe 50-60 people underneath me. There are over 500 people in my building alone.

 

Well the world is yours with this nice big company and room for advancement.

 

I have heard a few wealthy successful people say to pursue what you're happiest in doing, and everything else will fall into place.

[preraph]

I think giving it a few months is good. Sounds like an okay move though without too many complications. You know, that "lead effortlessly" is a great thing, and no I don't think you're conceited. When I was young and working with people my own age, I also led effortlessly. It was all very easy-breezy casual and everyone did their part. It isn't always a fleeting thing ,certainly, but I found that once I was in my 40s and working with people in their 20s, I got no respect and just a lot of grumpiness and felt no one took me seriously and just tried to do their own thing until they got fired for it. I'm female, so I do think that was part of it. I've rarely seen men treated that way for being older than their employees. But I suppose it can happen. It's a great feeling when you feel everyone has got everyone else's back, inlcuding yours, and once it was no longer that way, I got out of management because it really became very difficult and unpleasant.