Should I quit?

[ShiningMoon]

I am currently interning at this fashion house. We're only two interns. Things have been going pretty badly since day one. We work with some guy who happen to be the biggest douche ever. He's a sales associate but we are not interning in his department. We're interning in he design department. He just happens to work there sometimes (like cleaning stuff and all) but we have no affiliation with him.

 

I tend not to trust people when I first meet them. Hence, I just do my work but I don't engage in "personal" conversations with 'coworkers' because I genuinely believe that anything you say can be used against you at some point. Hence, I'm not talkative at work. I just do whatever they tell me do so and stay quiet. After all, I'm just an intern and anything I saw can be twisted.

 

Anyway, this man I'm working with has been attacking me since day one. I didn't trust him when I first saw him so I remained very silent and would only communicate with him about work, unlike the other intern who literally shared her life story with him. He saw I wasn't very communicative so he's now taking advantage of this saying stuff like:

 

- "You never speak, hence, people can do whatever they want to you, you're very submissive. I'm sure mommy and daddy still buy your clothes".

- "What did you do last night? Wait, did you watch Dora?"

- "I think you should go back to working for mommy and daddy and use their black card whenever you want. I don't understand why you're interning here when you have the opportunity to make cash easily".

- "You're not exactly attractive. You look like an 18 year old unlike the other intern who is very sexy"

 

Mind you, the guy is 37 and has three kids!

 

He encouraged me to quit my internship because I have no chances of ever making it whereas he apparently encouraged the other intern to apply for a full time position when the internship is over (I wasn't there).

 

Because a lot of people in this company speak Italian and I don't, he started saying things right in front of me in Italian with the store's manager, and the store's manager was like "I hope you don't speak Italian!".

 

I work in this menswear company which happens to be full of men. I'm only 5'2, the other intern is like 5'6, so I feel as though they don't take me seriously. I mean c'mon, just because I don't engage in personal conversations and keep quiet, doesn't mean I'm submissive. I just don't wanna talk to someone who conveyed a bad vibe from day one. I'm tired of going to work everyday to undergo such a bad treatment. He even started criticizing me in front of the boss. I'm just an intern, he's a sales rep. I don't get what's the deal. I'm not even working in the sales department, but he happens to work in our design department sometimes.

 

Should I quit? It's a three months internship, and this is just week one!

Edited December 13, 2013 by ShiningMoon

[pink_sugar]

Wow, this sounds like harassment to say the least. Don't let this guy make you quit. Although you're being a bit paranoid in regards to feeling anyone can use anything against you, you should not feel forced to quit because of harassment. I'm assuming your company has an HR department? Don't let the harassment continue and talk to an HR representative or management immediately about the issue! Only then would I consider quitting the job if those above options failed.

Edited December 13, 2013 by pink_sugar

[ShiningMoon]

Wow, this sounds like harassment to say the least. Don't let this guy make you quit. Although you're being a bit paranoid in regards to feeling anyone can use anything against you, you should not feel forced to quit because of harassment. I'm assuming your company has an HR department? Don't let the harassment continue and talk to an HR representative or management immediately about the issue!

 

Yeah, I know I'm a bit paranoid about not sharing things, but he said it himself "Whatever you say, it'll get reported to the entire department because that's how it works here". True fact, it happened so many times.

 

For instance, yesterday during lunch break I was talking about the Young and the Restless with the other intern because her name reminded me of a YR character. One of the assistant heard me talk about this. Next thing I know, I bump into this guy hours later and he was like "I bet you watched the YR last night, didn't you?"

 

Coincidence? I think not.

[pink_sugar]

Wow, yeah there are some workplaces out there that are so into gossip. Retail is well known for things like that. Do you have HR though? There might be gossip, but usually there is a no-retaliation clause when it comes to those sort of things and if your direct manager doesn't conform, this could lead to a lawsuit.

[ShiningMoon]

The only HR person is the boss himself. The boss and his assistant are the only people who deal with recruiting and laying people off. Unfortunately, there is no HR department (which is pretty shocking for such a luxury fashion house).

 

The sales guy never wants to give me any task and whenever he needs someone, he always calls the other intern. Hence, I end up sitting there doing nothing. Or, whenever he gives me a task he's like "I hate this task and I know it's really annoying, so I want you to do it for me".

[d0nnivain]

Don't quit. It's an internship, not forever.

 

When this guy starts in on you, stand up for yourself. Say something like, "I'm trying to do a job here & learn about the business. You are preventing me from doing that I don't appreciate it." If he's giving you negative feedback but doesn't have the power to give you a review, say "that's your opinion" & keep on doing what you are doing. Part of it he's just a bully & if you stand up for yourself he may back off.

 

Since he said bad stuff about you to the manager, you can ask that person to get him to be more professional.

[ShiningMoon]

Yeah I know but this internship was optional, it's still a two months internship which happens to be optional and I don't want to end up as a wreck when the internship is over. I was bullied in school and it took me years to recover. I can't do it anymore especially because my mental health is pretty fragile and I can easily fall into depression all over again.

 

 

I'm not sure.

[d0nnivain]

Stand up for yourself. It will make you feel better than any drug. Really it's the best anti-bulling remedy there is.

[pink_sugar]

Yeah I know but this internship was optional, it's still a two months internship which happens to be optional and I don't want to end up as a wreck when the internship is over. I was bullied in school and it took me years to recover. I can't do it anymore especially because my mental health is pretty fragile and I can easily fall into depression all over again.

 

 

I'm not sure.

 

I've been there, but d0nnivain has a point. Try telling him to back off, but in a professional way. Step #2 is to bring this to your manager's attention. A lot of times people will pick on us if they feel they can get away with it. Don't let him get away with it. Quitting should only be a last resort if you have the means to be without a job until you find another one.

[ShiningMoon]

The manager is the other person this guy was talking in Italian with. I even heard them talking to the boss about me and comparing me to the other intern physically. They're all in it I feel like. It's a dead end.

[regine_phalange]

It's a very good idea that you don't share too much personal info. You can say "please don't ever speak to me that way, ever again, you are ridiculing your self and distracting me from my work".. Then turn your face and continue working & ignore him.

 

I was in a similar position as you, in my previous job. Very toxic environment. I talked only about work, didn't make small talk, just my job. And you know what my manager's "expert opinion" was? That I was suffering from depression! Good lord! And of course he didn't say that to my face but to others (I listened him say that though, don't ask). Also, another coworker would try to demean me, but I was very sarcastic with him, so he stopped, he was very coward, and looking for a victim to release his stress. He was also very insecure, afraid that someone will take his position. And I was a "lucky one". The girl before me, oh boy. She wasnt very assertive and this coworker was screaming at her, calling her stupid, while banging her desk. If I were her, I would have told him "when you evolve into a human, I shall be back" and I'd just take the day off.

 

I eventually quit my job because I didn't trust them anymore. I just can't work with people I don't trust. Another two people quit the same period as me...

 

You need to have a tough stomach. It is quite soon, see how it goes. And if you end up totally unmotivated, just quit.

[pink_sugar]

It's a very good idea that you don't share too much personal info. You can say "please don't ever speak to me that way, ever again, you are ridiculing your self and distracting me from my work".. Then turn your face and continue working & ignore him.

 

I was in a similar position as you, in my previous job. Very toxic environment. I talked only about work, didn't make small talk, just my job. And you know what my manager's "expert opinion" was? That I was suffering from depression! Good lord! And of course he didn't say that to my face but to others (I listened him say that though, don't ask). Also, another coworker would try to demean me, but I was very sarcastic with him, so he stopped, he was very coward, and looking for a victim to release his stress. He was also very insecure, afraid that someone will take his position. And I was a "lucky one". The girl before me, oh boy. She wasnt very assertive and this coworker was screaming at her, calling her stupid, while banging her desk. If I were her, I would have told him "when you evolve into a human, I shall be back" and I'd just take the day off.

 

I eventually quit my job because I didn't trust them anymore. I just can't work with people I don't trust. Another two people quit the same period as me...

 

You need to have a tough stomach. It is quite soon, see how it goes. And if you end up totally unmotivated, just quit.

 

I too have quit jobs like this because the problem continued even after talking with management. I had two jobs where the people who harassed me were in cliques with management. I eventually quit, because I would have rather lived in my car than continue with that crap everyday. My immediate supervisor purposely gave herself the day off that I had requested for my wedding anniversary. I ALWAYS got weekends off and it so happens that she suddenly "needed" me that day and gave herself the day off instead. I quit immediately and everyone in the department knew what she was doing and why. She was very jealous of me, because she had a lot of problems at home. Senior management wasn't happy when I gave a week's notice, but considering the way I was treated, I never looked back.