Issue/Affair with a Junior Employee

[fishnet]

Hi -

 

i work as a Team Leader (Manager) in an IT company and have been here for almost 4 years now. i have a pretty successful career and i believe i am smart enough as far as looks are concerned.

 

Here is what happened Last week.

 

I am in the Technical Department and a new Junior employee joined the sales team of our company last week and somehow got hold of my number too from another employee or something.

 

She texted me over on Saturday and we kept texting on Sunday too... and even spoke for a while.... Same Story on Monday...

 

Suddenly, on Monday evening... She asked me if we would meet for a coffee/lunch break tomorrow (Tuesday, which is today when i am posting this message)... and i declined immediately... thinking that it's too early. Now, as we were chatting(texting).... She changed her profile picture (I was using Whatsapp to chat/text)... and i immediately commented asking to put a better one and she immediately sent me like 5 recent pictures of her (some of which were good)... and i was like you could do better... we texted for a while and she asked me to wait and after a minute or so... send sent me a picture of here naked (just the upper half).

 

Now, i understand all the teasing part where girls take pictures/videos of themselves and send it in long distance relationships of even when their boyfriend/husband/spouse is away... (But, i don't expect this to happen on 3rd day of a friendly relationship.)

 

Please... if anyone can... help me understand what is going on here and why..

 

About me:

Am i married? No

Am i Committed or in a relationship? Yes, infact i live with my fantastic girlfriend and we have bee in a relationship for over 6 years and she recently moved in like a year ago and we are planning to get married in next 2 -3 years.

Why am i acting so weird and scarred? I am from india and in this country **** happens... just to people like me and... i have my full (4 year) career on line too)

Am i interested in moving on with this girl or having some kind of one night stand? Yes and No, well.. No because i don't feel right about this thing... Yes because... this is the first time in my life something like this is happening and i don't want to loose the opportunity.

 

HEEEELLLLPPP:bunny::bunny:

[Philosoraptor]

So wait, you want to have an affair because this is the first time something like this is happening to you? I'm all for new experiences, but not at the cost of another. If you want to move on with things with your coworker then end your current relationship before doing so. If you want to stay in your 6 year relationship with your fantastic girlfriend and get married, then put all these affair thoughts out of your head.

 

Make a choice, you don't get both. How would you feel about your fantastic girlfriend being here posting this same thing about a new guy she met?

[fishnet]

Thank you!

 

I actually had a discussion with my School friend this morning about the same and he even pointed the same thing. (How would you feel if your girlfriend was doing the same thing to you?)

 

I know the old saying Keep your d*ck in the pu*sy and brain in the work and after all this happened... the options swapped.

 

This is my first time posting to LoveShack... and i had a great experience.... will definitely consider registering as a a premium member and supporting the site in near future.

 

Thank you and God Bless You.

[Trimmer]

Suddenly, on Monday evening... She asked me if we would meet for a coffee/lunch break tomorrow (Tuesday, which is today when i am posting this message)... and i declined immediately... thinking that it's too early. Now, as we were chatting(texting).... She changed her profile picture (I was using Whatsapp to chat/text)... and i immediately commented asking to put a better one and she immediately sent me like 5 recent pictures of her (some of which were good)... and i was like you could do better... we texted for a while and she asked me to wait and after a minute or so... send sent me a picture of here naked (just the upper half).

 

Now, i understand all the teasing part where girls take pictures/videos of themselves and send it in long distance relationships of even when their boyfriend/husband/spouse is away... (But, i don't expect this to happen on 3rd day of a friendly relationship.)

 

Please... if anyone can... help me understand what is going on here and why..

You sound pretty naive. You were texting with someone who obviously takes a personal interest in you. You tell her to put up better pictures, and she does. And then you once again say "you could do better..."

 

Then you act surprised when she takes your hint and steps it up to the next level? Are you really not getting that?

 

Then there's the whole other issue that you are already in a committed relationship. So you have already stepped over an inappropriate line, in spite of your protest that you are suprised at this coworker's actions. Face it: you were right there encouraging her.

 

So you've got your relationship that is certainly at risk, and your career that is probably at risk. You just have to decide whether that's all worth it, but here's something important that you should remember: usually when people consider this type of a situation, they consider it assuming that they will be able to keep things hidden. And it usually doesn't turn out that way.

 

So when you think about what you are doing and what path to take next, you should factor in the idea that you will probably get discovered, one way or the other, as you consider the possible outcomes and consequences.

[Got it]

You need to also be aware that you conducting some very inappropriate behavior with a subordinate. One of the basic harassment policies that any company has is no supervisor/subordinate relationships. You have really exposed yourself for some major issues including up to termination based on the recent events.

 

My BEST advice, come clean with your boss and with HR.

[stillafool]

What kind of junior employee would think so little of herself and do something this trashy after only 3 days? Does she not want her new job?

[Trimmer]

I know the old saying Keep your d*ck in the pu*sy and brain in the work and after all this happened... the options swapped.

This must be a language thing. I'm trying to figure out how putting your brain in the pussy works, metaphorically (and I'm not yet convinced that's a bad thing... ) But if it gets you to a solid place, then I guess that's the point.

[Got it]

What kind of junior employee would think so little of herself and do something this trashy after only 3 days? Does she not want her new job?

 

How trashy of a manager to act inappropriately with a new junior employee. Does he not want to keep his job?

[GorillaTheater]

What kind of junior employee would think so little of herself and do something this trashy after only 3 days? Does she not want her new job?

 

How trashy of a manager to act inappropriately with a new junior employee. Does he not want to keep his job?

 

Both of you are right, of course, but the OP has the most legal risk here.

 

Knock it off, Fishnet. If not for the sake of your gf, then at least for your job and assets.

[fishnet]

You sound pretty naive. You were texting with someone who obviously takes a personal interest in you. You tell her to put up better pictures, and she does. And then you once again say "you could do better..."

 

Then you act surprised when she takes your hint and steps it up to the next level? Are you really not getting that?

 

Then there's the whole other issue that you are already in a committed relationship. So you have already stepped over an inappropriate line, in spite of your protest that you are suprised at this coworker's actions. Face it: you were right there encouraging her.

 

So you've got your relationship that is certainly at risk, and your career that is probably at risk. You just have to decide whether that's all worth it, but here's something important that you should remember: usually when people consider this type of a situation, they consider it assuming that they will be able to keep things hidden. And it usually doesn't turn out that way.

 

So when you think about what you are doing and what path to take next, you should factor in the idea that you will probably get discovered, one way or the other, as you consider the possible outcomes and consequences.

 

 

Thanks for some great advice Sir. Yes, i agree i did meant her to take the picture thing to the next level but didn't actually expected she should... (Assuming it's the third day only.).

 

Yes, at one point... i was thinking that this may just be one of thousand things happening and i will never, never get discovered... but getting Pro advice... Does Claim i will... Keeping in the the fact that i am not a playboy or something and i don't usually do this on a regular basis at all.

 

Thank you again. I am turning out.

[Misfortune]

"this is the first time in my life something like this is happening and i don't want to loose the opportunity."

 

He's excited about his 1st affair, I don't think he'll stop anytime soon. He's riding the high of the thrill that affairs bring and the excitement of getting this kind of attention for the 1st time.

 

Hopefully the OP snaps out of this soon. I think she found easy pray and is using her assets to get in with someone higher up in the company, happens all the time.

[fishnet]

You need to also be aware that you conducting some very inappropriate behavior with a subordinate. One of the basic harassment policies that any company has is no supervisor/subordinate relationships. You have really exposed yourself for some major issues including up to termination based on the recent events.

 

My BEST advice, come clean with your boss and with HR.

 

Well, i believe i haven't... but i will just try to get away from it as much as i can and will try to believe that this thing never really happened.

[fishnet]

What kind of junior employee would think so little of herself and do something this trashy after only 3 days? Does she not want her new job?

 

I don't know may be...

 

On a side note... she does have her current not so called boy friend working in the same office(Actually, they both joined together and the reason i call this not so called is because they the boy claims they are together and the girl doesn't.[/b)

[fishnet]

This must be a language thing. I'm trying to figure out how putting your brain in the pussy works, metaphorically (and I'm not yet convinced that's a bad thing... ) But if it gets you to a solid place, then I guess that's the point.

 

I agree that i kind of wrote it just as i was thinking that.... but i didn't actually meant it to be practical.

[fishnet]

"this is the first time in my life something like this is happening and i don't want to loose the opportunity."

 

He's excited about his 1st affair, I don't think he'll stop anytime soon. He's riding the high of the thrill that affairs bring and the excitement of getting this kind of attention for the 1st time.

 

Hopefully the OP snaps out of this soon. I think she found easy pray and is using her assets to get in with someone higher up in the company, happens all the time.

 

 

I know... but C'mon... don't underestimate me... i know this kind of thing happens all the thing for juniors to get up in the company... but really??? I am not falling for this anymore... not after this thread :-p

[fishnet]

Both of you are right, of course, but the OP has the most legal risk here.

 

Knock it off, Fishnet. If not for the sake of your gf, then at least for your job and assets.

 

I care a lot about both and won't let a 3rd party Vagina take it all over :-p