So obsessed with my co-worker

[hopelessromantic1990]

I am a lesbian and extremely into my coworker who has claimed to be pansexual. We've had a past on and off of constant flirting durning work, and through texting. She first came to me. A time period of a month or 2 went by where I never saw her at work let alone heard from her. She began talking to me again through texting after those 2 months apologizing that she has been through a lot. We were texting after those 2 months, October until January because that time period I was out of work and our job didn't open up until December but my house wasn't able to be returned to until January. When I came back I've heard she was screwing around with another coworker and I was extremely hurt but it because I thought he was my friend. After I dropped her months went by and I realized I wanted her back in my life. So we managed to repair that

 

Throughout not talking to each other those few months I spent what had felt like every second of everyday thinking about her. Dream about her, everything. And when we managed to talk again when I believed, again, something was going to happen whether we would hook up or maybe date. She gave me the impression she returned those feelings because when she was calling me beautiful or anything flirtatious, she was texting me everyday typical "good morning" etc stuff. After we actually hung out outside of work a few months ago with 2 other coworkers I thought the night went differently than she did. She stayed close to me, she wanted me to get drunk with her, she let me sit on her lap and she gave me like 15 kisses on the cheek holding me tightly before we dropped her off. When I tried to get out of her not to long ago what she wanted out of this, she claimed not to rush things but didn't say it in a bad way. I felt like I was being used for her attention like the previous times. Because the previous time after she screwed around with our other coworker she told me she didn't want anything serious with anyone because recently she got out of a relationship but when her and I stopped talking after I found out she was screwing our other coworker I found out she was dating another guy though it wasn't serious,

 

It all ended because I was hurt and flat out told her because she is the one who hurt me " you are only with someone if you can benefit from them" and I don't have money like people she's been use to being with, and I don't have a car. I've noticed that stuff matters to her. She was extremelyy offended and after I apologized the day after I never got a response. So like the previouss times we weren't talking, I get anxious knowing she'd be coming into work any minute. I'd look to dress nice and get myself dolled up knowing when I'd see her, try to get her attention although we aren't speaking, cringe when I see her speak to anyone else because I think right away oh you're probably screwing this coworker now.

 

I'm so attracted to her and none of these feelings are fading what so ever. Despite knowing she has like played with my strings I know I still want her back in my life in some way. Friendship can never work, for long, because I know I still have those feelings. I don't know what to do. This effects me mentally and physically. I become so stressed in every way imaginablee. I wouldn't say because of this situation is why I'm looking to seek a psychiatrist but this is deff a reason.

 

Has anyone else had or have an issue like this being so obsessed with someone? How did you go about it, are you over it, are you still obsessed? I feel like a lost cause at this point. I pretty much stalk her social networking stuff and everything.

[Arabella]

It sounds to me like you're just obsessed with her because you haven't had her sexually. You have a couple choices here.

 

1) Make a play for her. Have sex with her already and get it out of your system. You will feel much better. Then decide what you really want.

 

2) If the above doesn't seem possible, start looking for a new job. I doubt this obsession is going to get any better when you're constantly seeing her and talking to her.

 

Good luck!

 

-A

[Forever Learning]

Has anyone else had or have an issue like this being so obsessed with someone? How did you go about it, are you over it, are you still obsessed? I feel like a lost cause at this point. I pretty much stalk her social networking stuff and everything.

 

 

Well sure, plenty of people have had strong feelings and attraction and thoughts about someone that could be classified as an obsession, time usually resolves it but sometimes it takes a really long time.

 

There is a way to speed up the process, and that of course is the magical "NO CONTACT" that everyone here is always talking about.

 

Read the "No Contact" guides on this site! MANDATORY!

 

 

That includes not checking her on any social network sites. And change where you work so you don't see her anymore.

 

Or, you could always find someone else to get involved with, to shift your focus off her.

 

But I'd quit the job eventually and work elsewhere.

 

If you find you are often obsessing over people you are attracted to, you may be a Love Addict (google and learn) and/or maybe medication for OCD type disorder could help.

 

I personally think Prozac helps some people not obsess, but other SSRI medications might work better, you would have to google that as well. All the best to you!

 

p.s. Read up here: Love Addicts Anonymous

[vaniya]

very nice post like this forum

[GG3]

I'm thinking go out on dates and try to get your focus off of her.

 

I've become into people at work and try to turn it off be seeing their flaws more clearly too. To tell myself that it may not have worked out later anyway and it's probably better this way.

[whichwayisup]

Get some counseling. What you feel isn't love, and it's affecting, your job, and everything else in your life.

 

Think about getting another job. Seeing and speaking to her feeds your feelings, so does stalking her online. You need to make big efforts to make yourself STOP thinking about her, and stop googling or whatever online. Breaking habits like this probably won't be easy but the payoff is huge later once you ARE over her.