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4givrnt4gtr

Im not 100% sure what is my issues.

 

It seems that for some reason I have a really really hard time adopting a proper work ethic. Ever since I started working (at 14), I have noticed that when I interview at jobs I do really really well and give a good impression. THe first few weeks I do really well, come in on time, and learn at the appropriate pace at least.

And then something happens. I start having trouble coming in on time, and then the quality of my work starts getting bad, I start making a lot of careless mistakes and start getting in trouble. At first when I was young I thought it was because I got bored of the jobs really quickly. I think this was more of an excuse, because if Im going to be honest, I did have a hard time focusing and catching all my mistakes.

Inevitably I always end up where I currently am. Feeling like Im the worst worker in the place, that my boss hates me and that I am being watched like a hawk. I hate this feeling.

 

Right now I am doing an internship which is not paid but its very demanding. Aside from the internship Im going to school full time and work for money part time. I transferred to this current rotation at the beginning of the year, and at first everything was great. I felt the rotation was much easier than the previous one, and I felt like I had a lot of support from my superiors.

However, the past month has been really rough. School demands have picked up and I requested more responsibilities in the internship because I needed more hours to meet a requirement, thinking I could handled it. I've been running around trying to meet all the demands, prioritizing school as this is what is going to get me my degree. Because of that, I just kind of do the bare minimum in the internship when it comes to the quality of my work. I hardly revise my work because i don't have much time, so apparently there have been a lot of mistakes in reports I have turned in etc. To top it off, two weeks ago I was told to do something I had no experience doing. I think at this point they assume even if I haven't done that exact task, because Ive done other things that are similar, I should have been able to do the task perfectly. Well I didnt.

I messed up several times, while my immediate supervisor was observing me.

On top of that I was very distracted with other issues, including personal issues, along with having to prepare the exam that will allow me to continue to graduation. So the report on that task was also much less than ideal.

 

Suffice to say that a few days after that I got a "semi-final" evaluation, stating that I am not meeting standards. I had a meeting with my supervisor, who outlined all the things Im doing wrong, including having three instances of coming in 5 to 15 minutes late, making errors on the task i did the week before and turning reports without being revised first. Although the meeting sucked, I did my best to be professional and the supervisors seemed hopeful I could turn my performance around.

 

And then a day later, I came down with appendicitis.

This ofcourse meant surgery, and having to miss a week of work. I feel horrible because the previous week I requested time off to work on my final examination, and then after the meeting my supervisor gave me another day off to gather myself. I feel like they must think Im such a pain in their neck, and I just can't get my ish together.

 

Im feeling completely overwhelmed and powerless. I also feel that my immediate supervisor is kind of fed up with me, as whenever I ask for guidance she kind of responds in a curt, annoyed manner, as if I am too needy. Just today I sent her an email, after much hesitation, asking her if she could forward me a piece of information she had that I need to complete one of the reports i need to do. She emailed me back saying she was busy, and to ask someone else for those things from now on.

 

I dont know what to do. I know having appendicitis is not my fault, but I swear they must think I'm such a slacker.

 

I feel like im skating on thin ice. I feel horrible, I feel so incompetent and like I will never be able to get my act together. I don't understand why this happens. Why I start strong and slowly decline. And then my health just never cooperates either.

 

I need tips on how to become a better worker, and how, if at all possible, can I prove to my current supervisors that I am not totally useless and a nuisance.

Any ideas?

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Here's the deal. Few people put in the so-called 110 percent. Most people work hard enough to keep their jobs, and that's about it. Most employers treat employees well enough to keep them, and that's it. We all know the game, and we basically accept it.

 

My advice is, control the things you can control. Prevent the things you can prevent. Coming in late? There's no excuse for that - it's a behavior that can be controlled. So, control it. It's too late to worry about it now. The time to worry about it is before it becomes something that appears on your boss's radar. You're at a disadvantage, but you're never powerless.

 

The main tip is, look forward. Remember your mistakes, but once you've made them, remember them, but don't dwell on them. Carry your experiences forward and hopefully they'll make you better prepared in the future.

Edited by Fugu
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