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My friend I recommended is now having an affair with our boss


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Old 16th March 2013, 10:48 PM   #1
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My friend I recommended is now having an affair with our boss

That pretty much says it all. There was a big conference we were all at and she and the boss got very drunk and had sex.

Her last 'romance' was a married man who wouldn't have sex with her and said his marriage was over but he was having trouble breaking away. I felt sorry for her at first, you can't help falling in love and she didn't seem to be pursuing him. I didn't know anything about this when I recommended her, she and I were acquaintances but we became closer after that. I told her to stop talking with me about the married guy and to just realize he wasn't so innocent and move on.

Then she told me about bonking the main boss when I saw her at breakfast the next morning.

This is a guy people are terrified of for a good reason. He's vengeful and doesn't lose any battles, including with those more powerful than him. He surrounds himself with young, beautiful women. I thought it was all eye candy but never heard anyone complain about him chasing the young women. Now I know better.

She was saying very personal things to him, very intimate things about how people were terrified of him and how lonely at the top he must feel. He said he was and then "the next thing I knew he had his tongue down my throat." So yes she was really drunk but she was playing with fire, getting to him emotionally.

When he kissed her that she thought "Oh my god I don't want to lose my job!"

I asked her if it was forced and she said "Oh god no" and proceeded to give me details of what a good lover he was. She definitely feels her career is more secure and is figuring out how to use this to her advantage. She is so over her head with this man in so many ways. He's married to his childhood sweetheart, with kids, and is Arab. I can't imagine him leaving his wife and will fight hard to protect himself.

All I can think of is I need to distance myself from her, him and all of this. I have no idea how he deals with these situations, but I wish i had no knowledge of this for my own safety. How do I do this?

Any advice?
VeronicaRoss is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2013, 1:46 AM   #2
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Can you tell her that you're not comfortable knowing about any further details, and to please not speak about it to you again, since you two do work together and he's the boss? Hopefully she'll understand. And keep stern with it.
RachR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th March 2013, 5:45 AM   #3
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The best thing to do right now I would say is to distance yourself from her. If anything were to go down between your boss and her, you wouldn't want to be dragged down too since you did refer your friend to this job.

I do think that your friend is a little in over her head because I highly doubt that a big boss guy like that, with a wife and kids, his reputation, and of his position, would give that all away and put it on the line for a new hot babe that he's been screwing with. But that's just my 2 cents.
Angel Lady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th April 2014, 10:39 PM   #4
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The update is that he is keeping her around as long as he can, breaking every rule to keep a contract employee.

It's frustrating to say but bonking him did exactly what she was hoping it would do.
VeronicaRoss is offline   Reply With Quote
 

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