work place driving me crazy - like high school

[oneday]

hello all - hope someone has some insight or advice - or just tell me to suck it up...

 

working where i work is like being in high school. people don't want to ask other people in the office if they have upset them in some way or if they are ok. instead they ask another co-worker if so&so is ok or what's wrong with her - did i do something to upset her.

 

then when you tell a co-worker something and you tell her not to tell anyone - she goes and tells whoever she feels needs to know. i know not to tell her anything anymore.

 

also whenever there is a male employee - my boss treats them differently - like if he messes up on a job - he doesn't get yelled at like the rest of us.

 

yes i know - go to the boss and tell her how you feel - that doesn't work with this one - she takes everything personally then won't talk to you for days and gives you dirty looks.

 

i work in an office where there is 5 females and i male. one of those females is my boss.

 

has anyone been in a working environment like this. it's starting to drive me crazy.

[Beth]

That would drive me crazy too. Are you looking for a new job?

[tattoomytoe]

yes, unfortunately i have been in offices like that. THe best thing to do is stay all bussiness, no gossip, or anything. you can certainly be nice and cheerful...but stay to neutral topics if you must talk with them, if they start to vent to you, just excuse yourself and tell them to take it up with the sup.

 

i think anyplace ,where people interact daily for extensive amounts of time, has some chraracterisrics of "high school behaviour" . You are with a mix of people, some are more mature than others, some set in there biased ways...people tend to get comfortable with their surrounding and then they show their asses.

 

then there is my job, where you have to kiss ass and it's who you know that gets you to the top, not nessesarily how talented or smart you are.

[oneday]

thank you ladies for the advice.

 

no i am not looking for a job - i was posting in another section - i just got out of a bad relationship - so now i can focus on myself and part of that is a new job.

 

i try hard to stay business like but when people ask you how your doing - some days i just can't hold back - so i only have myself to blame.

 

it just sucks not having a boss you can talk to and not get your head bitten off.

[brashgal]

Been there and I agree with Tattoo - keep it all business and watch your back. There were five of us women in ONE large office for 2-1/2 years - thought I'd kill myself before I finally got a new job. The only way I survived was to keep mostly to myself. My great-grandmother had a great expression "Be civil but strange" in other words, don't get too close.

 

As far as your boss goes, try to take all emotion out of any feedback you give her. Try not to use YOU statements "you do this, you do that" as it sounds like she is very defensive. If you have to say anything at all, present her with a plan of action or solution along with the problem. Less offensive than complaining.

 

I don't envy you - hoping you can find another position or that office politics improve. Sometimes when one person (like your boss) leaves, the dynamics change and the workplace becomes more tolerable. Work on getting her promoted out of your group!! Or work on getting yourself promoted out of your group. Good luck!

[oneday]

and to boot - people don't respect when your door is closed. they knock and come right in.

 

i think i am going to try something new and say if my door is closed send me an email because i am working on something - think that would be too rude.

 

i just hate getting in a project then getting interrupted 15 times because of this problem that so and so isn't working on or this just happen or this just came in.

 

now if it was an earthquake or something i'd want them to come in.

 

is this being rude?