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How to shake off comments from co-workers?


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I feel a little silly asking this, and I always thought I had thicker skin after being bullied by my "best friends" relentlessly through childhood. Now i'm a grown woman and thought I could ignore comments, but I recently heard through a co-worker that she had heard someone call me "lazy" and a "misery."

 

This completley shocked me, as I work incredibly hard i'd say about 98% of the time. Being pregnant has slowed me a little but I didn't expect people to start slagging me off, especially ones who are always so nice to me to my face!

 

Now I know this isn't a major issue, but it is bothering me a great deal and makes me wonder what my other co-workers think of me. Is this normal? Or am I over-reacting to this?

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That is the best gif I have ever seen haha! Really made me laugh!

 

& She also said I flirt with and "shark" all the guys at work, when really it's because I get on with them so much better as the girls are all sooooo dramatic and there is a lot of bitchiness and arguments constantly.

 

Oh well!

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OP I totally hear ya. Dealing with the same situation myself at work.. 6 months into a new position and they are real nice to my face but say things like "I'm not cutting it" and I'm "slow" behind my back. It's very upsetting to me but the friendlier coworkers tell me to not let their comments get to me, that they will always have sh*t to talk about someone, that their own insecurities are what prompt the negative comments.

 

If I were you I would try to not let them get to you. Prove your worth by being a good employee and everyone else will know that their comments are unjustified. You can't control what people say so you have to just be the bigger person. You might want to document what is being said, when & by whom in the event you need it down the road. That's what I am doing.

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Sorry to hear what you are going through, OP. I agree with the other poster, document everything and if it continues to get worse, I would speak with a higher up regarding this...as it could be considered discrimination.

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frostfire1337

I recommend a campaign of mind bending paranoia against the person in question. First... call the cops and tell them that you have knowledge of either of these things: screams coming from the house, or drugs. Spritz the coworker's car with a perfume scent that is not yours. Put adds in craigslist advertising a sale of an object or soliciting sex, with a best time to call from 7:00 pm-9:00 pm. The calls stacking up will annoy them to no end. Last but not least, you can cause severe damage with normal foods. For starters, consuming lots of poppy seeds will cause a person to test positive on a drug test. Icecream in orange juice can cause diarrhea. Red kidney beans cooked on very low temp can cause vomiting. Caffeine pills can be dropped into drinks or coffee to induce caffeine shock resulting in jitters, sweat and lost work performance. Once the person is having weeks on end of bad days and they are stretched thin, you can then insinuate to them that you think that another coworker has it in for them or even their boss. By planting specific evidence for them to find, they will now be open to countermeasures that you can then suggest that they do. Because they are now unstable they can easily make mistakes that will lead to them being caught (not using untraceable computers like internet cafe computers for the craigslist, or using personal information, or doing questionable acts in an area with cameras in it.) You can inform on them, causing them to be caught for the acts they did in retribution against an imagined foe. When caught this is the last straw that breaks the camels back and they can do things rather... uncomfortable for themselves. Such as rage at the boss resulting in their termination. You can then sit back sipping your coffee and delete the ads, withdraw your talons, and be content in the knowledge that you have destroyed your enemy.

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What does it tell you about her? It tells you that: she's noticed you; she wants to damage your reputation. Why would someone want to do that? Only because they see you as a threat in some way, either she feels you are getting attention she isn't or in some way you threaten her interests - her friends, her crushes, her job. She may even want your attention if she thinks you pay more attention to others. Some co-workers can be a real pain.

 

Accept that there are these people and that they are a nuisance. Don't take what she says seriously, she is the sort of person who has a thing and is going to find something to criticise you about. In fact, she may be lazy or afraid of being seen as such and so she is projecting this on to you and declaring you are. I've noticed that people in the past who've done similar things to that to me have been very concerned about their status and seem convinced they are being treated less well than me in some way. Some people are concerned with their careers, others want to be creative, others worry about fairness. The only way they can cope with life is if they feel everything is 'fair'; there is no flexibility about this. If one person is allowed to leave early for a special event and they are allowed to come in late due to a special event, they will still see the other person as being treated more favourably than they are. These the people most likely to start backstabbing.

 

There are other who start with this kind of thing when they detect a weakness. It's almost a primitive thing - if you are feeling off-colour, they put the boot in, if your family are ill, they complain if you have to take time off. In your case, you are expecting and, to them, might be receiving care and consideration from others. That is bound to get them riled - not only are you 'weaker' than them but you get attention from it too!

 

It's difficult to know what to do. These people should be shot. They are a nuisance. The complain to their bosses, who then feel they have to do something, and they are nearly always picking on good employees. Unfortunately, the bosses rarely see through it as the wheel that squeaks the loudest gets the oil. Try to be her friend or distance yourself. Gather evidence to show you are not lazy and make notes - seriously, these kinds of people are a threat. Talk to the other people who she is spreading rumours to and get to know them. Become their friend so that she has less influence on them Other than that, consider getting a job elsewhere when you can.

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I recommend a campaign of mind bending paranoia against the person in question. First... call the cops and tell them that you ............... can then sit back sipping your coffee and delete the ads, withdraw your talons, and be content in the knowledge that you have destroyed your enemy.

 

Oh my, thanks for the laugh! Chocolate Ex-lax is easily disguised in chocolate cake, and powdered phenolphthalein (also a laxative) blends well in your Chinese take-out that they insist on stealing from the lunchroom fridge.

 

 

My favorite is the CL ad; I might use that one!

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Feelin Frisky

Office politics suck. I had nasty things said about me by people I thought much better of--one in particular--but I didn't trust that I could contain myself if she gave me a snotty remark. There was no cause for here--especially her--the chick I elevated to supervisor--to bad mouth me and it didn't seem to be her way. But I was told by another supervisor who reported to me that she was a phony and out for my job. That's office politics in America for ya--advancement by character assassination. It's everywhere and most people don't know there's something wrong because the came through an educational model predicated completely on competition which had absolutely no formal social development constructs to balance that cut-throatism with synergy and cooperation. Just look at our true political system as a macrocosm. Cooperation is at an all time low--unless you're in league to take someone else down. Disgusting.

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