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Flirting colleague


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Sunshine unicorn

A senior colleague has been actively flirting with me some time now. I'm now at a stage where I'm welcoming his attention. Then he backs off. This has been happening for months now. Problem is we are drawn to each other and obviously attracted to each other.

 

We recently starting texting each other and getting to know each others intimate preferences. I've also shared some seductive pictures with him. But now he is silent again..

 

Not sure how to proceed...confused

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L3galprinc3ss

Well i would first ask myself "why am i now welcoming him " as opposed to before? What barriers were involved that have been takng care of? You also need to remember that times have changed and men are more afraid of rejection. Therefore many start something they wont finish and hold their feelings back. Even wait forever for the woman to make a move? What if she's also insecure? If you really care about him then you be the strong one. Someone influenced me to be strong and i told a guy how much i like him since the day i started working for him. It went nowhere because i would flirt then back up, same as him. I waited too long to say anything, i must have misread him and we both dated someone else. Dont let the same happen to you if you truly want a shot with him.

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A senior colleague has been actively flirting with me some time now. ....But now he is silent again..

 

Not sure how to proceed...confused

 

Well I would first ask myself "why am i now welcoming him? "

 

Nope.

the first question I would ask myself is - "Is he married?"

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jimloveslips

First off you need to make sure you're not going to end up out of a job and/or in court! There is a very fine line between mutual interaction and harassment. An on again off again interaction where you don't know where you stand is not a mutual and co-responsible relationship - it is power and dominance.

 

A romantic/sexual work relationship needs ground rules, and you both have to fully know what they are, and respect them.

 

Is this a fling? Is this serious? Does it involve others (married/kids, how will it impact the working relationship with other work colleagues?)

 

If you can't talk to this person about how to best move forward with your "relationship" then you are already in some serious trouble having sent explicit pictures - you just know there's no way they'll stay private right? If you don't know how to approach this person then you are not in a relationship in which you are half of it. You are being used.

 

You need to talk to this person.

 

And then probably to HR/your boss.

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Abystarswoman

I would be very, very careful. If the relationship goes sour, it could create a very uncomfortable situation, not only for the two of you but for your coworkers as well. Nobody wins when an office romance goes bad - it creates unbelievable tension and a general sense of ill will amongst everyone. If things go bad, who will keep the "friends"? Will your coworkers be expected to take sides?

 

This is why I absolutely refused to date anyone I worked with. There's simply too much potential for a problem to happen, especially one that might jeopardize someone's career, which no one should be willing to do.

 

There's a saying out there, it's crude but true: "Don't ---- where you eat."

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