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Why Don't Some Women At Work Look At Me?


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I started a new job about a month ago. I get along fine with everyone but there are a couple of (attractive) women who will not look at me.

 

For example, I will be working with this one guy and this one particular woman (I'll call her woman A) will come up and talk to him (they seem to be good friends) and not acknowledge or speak to me. I know I am new and she doesn't know me so I don't have a problem with that.

 

However, the other day me, a woman, this guy, and I were having a conversation and woman A came up and joined the conversation. While we were talking she would look at the other guy and the woman but never at me. Pretty much acted like I wasn't there. To me it is natural to look at the person who is speaking but when I was speaking, she would look at the woman or the other guy, but never at me. As the conversation is going on and I am looking at all three, she would only look at the other two. Never at me.

 

Then there is woman B. I will pass her and look at her to acknowledge her, just like I would any other co-worker, but as I am passing by she will always look away from me in the opposite direction. It's not like she looks at me and then looks away. She just never looks at me. I can be passing her in an empty hallway with nothing but walls and if I am passing her on her left side, she will look at the wall on her right side. I mean, it is so obvious she is purposely looking away from me.

 

I am an older guy and these are younger women but there are other women, even younger than them, who have come up and introduced themselves, who talk to me, say hi to me, ask me how I am, and even joke around with me. There are others who I have never talked to but who will smile at me and/or say hi when we pass each other.

 

I wouldn't consider myself attractive, but I wouldn't say I am ugly either.

 

I have never done anything to creep these two women out or make them think I am interested in them so I don't know why they are like this. THey do talk to other duys so I know they aren't shy.

 

I don't talk to them or bother them. You can't say they are like this because I don't talk to them, but that's because you first have to have eye contact to talk to someone and they won't do that. Plus the fact I am quite a bit older than them should let them know I am not interested in them, so why won't they look at me? Do they think I am that ugly?

 

Normally I wouldn't care. In fact I actually seem to get more smiles and staring from younger women now, then I did when I was younger, but this office is made up of mostly younger people and this is kind of making me feel awkward, like an outcast, and like I don't fit in.

Edited by Frank13
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Wow all this time and no-one has responded?

 

I'm in almost exactly the same situation.

 

New job, 2 days away from 2 months being here.

This one woman like makes it a point to NOT look at me.

She's NEVER looked at me. Every time we pass in the hallway (no one else around) she will not look at me. It feels like she makes a point to not acknowledge me at all. Usually I find I act this way around women I am very much attracted to (because it can eventually lead to trouble if they respond to me being friendly with them) but I don't think women react the same way.

 

WTF Bitches? Y U gotta be acting this way?

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They may be afraid you'll misinterpret their attention or acknowledgement as interest in you, so they make sure they show no attention. It's kind of rude not to acknowledge your co-worker, but I'd say that's what is going on--they don't want to give you the impression that they might be interested in you, since they are not, so they don't give you any signals at all that might be misinterpreted as interest.

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Ok so my question is. Are they so far up their own ass they actually think everyone prob feels that way about them so unless they have an actual reason to talk or acknowledge someone at least for a first time is if they need something they (I) have such as. I'm in the MIS dept. She hasn't had computer issues yet but it's only a matter of time before she can't e-mail send / get a fax or print or her computer goes to crap. It's always a matter of time.

 

I suppose my cut and dry ? is. What makes her think she's so damn great I even care if she hints of my existence on this planet? What's to keep me from being so egotistical I don't think the same thing as she does about myself.?

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SarahRose

The irony.

 

The only reason you care if this particular woman notices you is because you find them attractive. If they were old or ugly, you wouldn't care at all.

 

Do you notice if any of the men look at you or acknowledge you?

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Everyone but her is polite. There's a difference between being polite and an outright bitch.

 

When someone behaves outside of the norm, it's noticeable.

 

Still doesn't answer the question.

What's the motivation of behavior.

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I work with a woman like this. I give people two chances and then I ignore. She is rude and self-centered. Just get everyone else on your side, be a team player, funny and pleasant, no drama, no negativity.

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They may be afraid you'll misinterpret their attention or acknowledgement as interest in you, so they make sure they show no attention. It's kind of rude not to acknowledge your co-worker, but I'd say that's what is going on--they don't want to give you the impression that they might be interested in you, since they are not, so they don't give you any signals at all that might be misinterpreted as interest.

 

Thank you for your take on this. It sounds like they are pretty full of themselves. Although they are attractive, they aren't "all that". Maybe they have been hit on a lot by older guys or something.

 

In any event, that puts it in perspective. There are plenty of others who do acknowledge me so I will just ignore these two.

 

When I have passed woman B, her head will be facing forward but her eyes will look to the side, away from me. Maybe I will have a little fun with her in that when we pass, I won't just look away, but will turn my entire head away, like she repulses me. LOL.

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The irony.

 

The only reason you care if this particular woman notices you is because you find them attractive. If they were old or ugly, you wouldn't care at all.

 

Wrong. I look at, talk to, and acknowledge old, fat, and unattractive co-workers both men and women. I don't even know that this is something I care about. It's just so blatant that it comes across as strange or rude to me. If a guy comes up to me in the street and asks me for the time, I am not not going to look away as I tell him. I will look him in the eye. To be involved in a conversation and not look at the person speaking just seems odd.

 

Do you notice if any of the men look at you or acknowledge you?

 

Absolutely. They are my co-workers. When we pass I will look at them and they do the same and we will usually say "hey" or "hi" or "how's it going". Also when I am talking with someone and a guy I know comes up and talks, we all look at each other.

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I work with a woman like this. I give people two chances and then I ignore. She is rude and self-centered. Just get everyone else on your side, be a team player, funny and pleasant, no drama, no negativity.

 

I'll accept this.

Some ppl just are...

Maybe she's just not a happy person all around.

Fine by me she can keep it. lol

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Everyone but her is polite. There's a difference between being polite and an outright bitch.

 

When someone behaves outside of the norm, it's noticeable.

 

Still doesn't answer the question.

What's the motivation of behavior.

 

Absolutely! It's just so obvious that they are acting outside the norm.

 

I have had other women at this job pass by me, look straight ahead, and not acknowledge me. That doesn't seem strange to me. They don't know me and perhaps don't want to so they just pass by.

 

But when woman A is in a conversation with me and two other people and will look at them but not me and when woman B always looks to the side away from me when there is nothing there but a blank wall, it is noticeable.

 

Maybe they are just full of themselves. Who cares. I will just ignore them.

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Also when I am talking with someone and a guy I know comes up and talks, we all look at each other.

 

This should have said "Also when I am talking with someone and a guy I DON'T know comes up and talks to us, we all look at each other

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I'll accept this.

Some ppl just are...

Maybe she's just not a happy person all around.

Fine by me she can keep it. lol

 

The thing is, it feels rude to me to look away and ignore people, but in the case of these two women, I will make an exception. Hey, I wouldn't want to give them the impression I am interested in them. LOL.

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SarahRose

If that is the case, then just ignore it. Who cares really. There are all types of people in the work place.

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I didn't see woman A today but I did see woman B. For some strange reason we past each other a bunch of times today. I couldn't tell you if she was looking at me because I alwaya looked away. One time as soon as I noticed her coming my way I tuned my head towards the ground and just kept it that way until we past A couple other times we were walking towards each other and when I saw her I abruptly turned and went in another direction.

 

Hey, I don't want to give her the wrong impression that I might be interested in her. If it is good enough for her then it is good enough for me.

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Soooo get this I hooked up with a chick in the sales dept. last night (long story and not necessary for this post) when we were out last night I asked her about this odd woman that works in her dept. and she told me straight up that's how this woman is and has always been and she seems to really only talk to one other woman in the whole building and that's pretty much it. I was told this person thinks she's so hot, high and mighty she's too good for anyone else. Sooooo.. that confirmed original suspicion about her attitude and yes she is in fact a bitch.

 

Just to clear it up. =D

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Wow speak of the devil I just got called into one of the execs offices and on my way there guess who was at the multifunction machine. I didn't even give a glance this time. First time I've passed her by and done it =D Woot! Biotch take that =)

 

This post was just for humor. Enjoy.

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CyBz, you know what is going to happen in a couple weeks. These women are going to come up to us and ask why we are ignoring them. Lol.

 

Sure it may seem childish to do this but I haven't done anything for these women to act like this. If you aren't interested in me, do like other people do and just walk past while looking forward. No need to turn your eyes or head away like I am repulsive.

 

Maybe I will escalate it to where I will put my hand up to my face when we pass like I am trying to block her from my vision. Lol.

 

As for woman A, go talk to people when I am not around. If you can't stand to look at me or don't want me to get the wrong idea that you are interested in me, don't join conversations that I am in.

 

I'll keep you updated.

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Thank you for your take on this. It sounds like they are pretty full of themselves. Although they are attractive, they aren't "all that". Maybe they have been hit on a lot by older guys or something.

 

In any event, that puts it in perspective. There are plenty of others who do acknowledge me so I will just ignore these two.

 

When I have passed woman B, her head will be facing forward but her eyes will look to the side, away from me. Maybe I will have a little fun with her in that when we pass, I won't just look away, but will turn my entire head away, like she repulses me. LOL.

I would suggest you treat them very businesslike--don't ignore them, but say "Good morning" when you pass them in the hall. That way, you come off as someone who is not interested in them, but is being a respectful co-worker. When they see that you are not interested in them, but are a nice normal guy who is cordial to them, I suspect they'll let down their guard around you and start treating you the same way--as a co-worker to be friendly to in a business relationship.

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I would suggest you treat them very businesslike--don't ignore them, but say "Good morning" when you pass them in the hall. That way, you come off as someone who is not interested in them, but is being a respectful co-worker. When they see that you are not interested in them, but are a nice normal guy who is cordial to them, I suspect they'll let down their guard around you and start treating you the same way--as a co-worker to be friendly to in a business relationship.

 

I have done this with some of the other women when I first started and it was met with silence. I would say "Hi" or "Good Morning" and they would completely ignore me. It only took a couple times of this for me to realize they wanted nothing to do with me so I stopped saying it and just ignored them.

 

However, none of these women did the blatant and obvious looking away or would join a conversation and not look at me.

 

Anyway, I will just ignore them. Whatever their hang up is, its not my problem.

 

It would be funny to make a sound like I was puking every time they passed by, as if they made me sick to my stomach, but we are all adults. LOL. But, at least they wouldn't have to worry that I was attracted to them and it might take their extreme love for themselves down a few notches. Just kidding of course.

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So today I don't see much of woman B, but woman is coming up and talking to the male co-worker while I am working with him. I completely ignored her. I wouldn't look in her direction and at times turned my back to her.

 

So after about 3 times of this she goes walking by and I look at her and she actually turns her head backwards, as she is going by, and smiles at me.

 

I win. I guess it isn't fun to be ignored. Now I am going back to ignoring her. LOL.

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So today I don't see much of woman B, but woman is coming up and talking to the male co-worker while I am working with him. I completely ignored her. I wouldn't look in her direction and at times turned my back to her.

 

So after about 3 times of this she goes walking by and I look at her and she actually turns her head backwards, as she is going by, and smiles at me.

 

I win. I guess it isn't fun to be ignored. Now I am going back to ignoring her. LOL.

 

That's awesome.

I actually just ended up moving in with Epic Sales girl =D

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I am not interested in these women as fish. I only posted because it was so obvious they were going out of the way to avoid looking at me.

 

Anyway, since them I have made eye contact with both of these women. They didn't abruptly turn away when we looked at each other. I didn't smile or say anything and neither did they. Who cares.

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I am not interested in these women as fish. I only posted because it was so obvious they were going out of the way to avoid looking at me.

 

Anyway, since them I have made eye contact with both of these women. They didn't abruptly turn away when we looked at each other. I didn't smile or say anything and neither did they. Who cares.

 

Who cares?

Obviously you care!

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