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Is your job your life?


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

 
 
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Old 24th October 2011, 2:40 AM   #16
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why, yes, yes it is.

your opening post was very relatable and a pleasure to come across because, oddly, i was just wondering if my job has absorbed all that is my life. and, it seems, it essentially has.

i started working at my present job earlier this year. it was supposed to be only a temporary position, but through a combination effect of my dedication and their need for employees with that very trait, i ended up staying. in the few months that i have been there, i have already been ascended to a supervisory position within my department.

naturally, this rise to fame at work has come with a price tag that--in essence--has cost me my social life. sometimes i wonder if it is worth it, but quickly refocus myself and realize that it is absolutely worth it.

my reasoning is quite simple: i will never be dependent on anyone ever again. now that i am older, i think back to the years shortly after my family fell apart and how awfully i struggled. remembering the days when i would have to scrap for meals and sleep in my car is more than enough reason to make work my absolute number one priority.

recently, i broke up with my BF because he was too much of a distraction. as sad as it is, i don't really miss him and actually feel relieved to have more free time. my friends think i am heading down the wrong path, but i don't think so. unlike most of them, i don't care for getting married and having babies. the more i go without loving anyone, aside from my mother and sister, the more i realize i don't think about "love." if anything, reading my old posts and reliving my heartbroken and "woe is me" days is kind of embarrassing; i can't believe i wasted so much time being ridiculous.

we all are different, and this is the path i am choosing to walk on. my destination is very clear: stability. once i achieve that, i will be free to take random mini journeys, but for now, who cares?
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Old 24th October 2011, 2:51 AM   #17
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Is your job your life?
My life is my job.

My profession is fun. Once I recover from the losses from my divorce and retire, hopefully I'll be able to do it for free.
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Old 29th October 2011, 7:40 AM   #18
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yeah...i love my job...and its my life...
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Old 29th October 2011, 7:57 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by daphne View Post
Unfortunately, the stress from my job and aggressive work personalities has taken a toll on my health. Probably the major factor in why this is coming to light.



I love my job too. But I think it might be time for a break. I had asked my boss about a sabbatical, and he advised that I would have to re interview to come back and that there were no guarantees. Essentially, I feel like I was being put on notice that I'm expendable if I do decide to take such a step. So, I woke up at 5am and decided to type up my resignation. When I feel comfortable with things, I'll turn it in. I'm not sure that where I'm working, I will ever achieve a balance between work and life. And I'd love the opportunity to get bored enough to miss the stress of work.

Trying to look at things positively. It's not easy, though, when you give them your free time, and don't get respect or much recognition in return.
Love your ability to recognize the futility of some situations, and act.
If retaining health and happiness means quitting, so be it.

Yes, my job takes up my life, but by design.
It's high-pressure but it's challenging creatively, fun, and pays well.
Yet, that pressure take a toll.
Consistent excellence is expected.
Nothing less is tolerated.
Walk through and you'll see rolls of Tums, bottles of Maalox on everyone's desk.

Having a plan helps.
Will I change industries?
Are skills needed for cross-over?
What can be done to avoid burning bridges?
Those are the kinds of things I plan for and contemplate.
Psychologically, it makes things tolerable when I feel burn-out coming on.

Good luck, daphne.
I know you'll be just fine.

ETA: Tonight is a Halloween party but I'm too tired to go, thanks to working a 12 hour Friday.
Looking at my wasted costume, thinking of my stress-related illness earlier this year, this thread has me thinking.
Thanks for that.

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Old 30th October 2011, 12:13 AM   #20
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No-one so far has said on their death bed that they wish they spent more time at the office.
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Old 30th October 2011, 12:16 AM   #21
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No-one so far has said on their death bed that they wish they spent more time at the office.
I've heard this before, and boy oh boy does it bear repeating.
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Old 30th October 2011, 12:21 AM   #22
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My job used to be my life.. back in my teens, 20's and 30's.
I put in the 120hr work weeks during those times and then finally called an end to it..
I think I achieved what I was trying to do during that time and that was secure my future..

Today, I work about 50-60 or so hrs per week.

My job however is tied to my identity.. at times they have been hard to keep separate.
Since my job is working for a company I helped build and my name is truly on the door I have always had a tough time leaving work at work and not taking it home.
I'm more than just Art Critic even when I'm at home I still own and run a company and many times that requires even being at work while I'm at home...
If that makes any sense...
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Old 30th October 2011, 12:33 AM   #23
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I have my own company and work from home. I work a 20 hour week, and my colleagues (we telecommute) are all very pleasant. 4 hours a day is enough for me. There's so much to do in the day time, like amble around the town and parks on my bike, go for a stroll, or have a nap, and so many people not doing office jobs to meet. Plus I get to get all the discounts on things like haircuts (Tuesdays), groceries (Mondays), yoga (off peak membership). Have applied for work at an animal shelter and visiting deaf people - each a couple of hours a week. Next week I'll be nipping down to London on the train midweek to catch up with a friend, discuss a wee freelance job she wants doing, probably do some shopping and visit the Victoria & Albert.

It's marvellous.
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Old 30th October 2011, 1:13 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
My job used to be my life.. back in my teens, 20's and 30's.
I put in the 120hr work weeks during those times and then finally called an end to it..
I think I achieved what I was trying to do during that time and that was secure my future..

Today, I work about 50-60 or so hrs per week.

My job however is tied to my identity.. at times they have been hard to keep separate.
Since my job is working for a company I helped build and my name is truly on the door I have always had a tough time leaving work at work and not taking it home.
I'm more than just Art Critic even when I'm at home I still own and run a company and many times that requires even being at work while I'm at home...
If that makes any sense...
Before being promoted, I worked a reasonable schedule.
Now, 72-80 hours is the routine.
120-hour work weeks are unfathomable to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by betterdeal View Post
I have my own company and work from home. I work a 20 hour week, and my colleagues (we telecommute) are all very pleasant. 4 hours a day is enough for me. There's so much to do in the day time, like amble around the town and parks on my bike, go for a stroll, or have a nap, and so many people not doing office jobs to meet. Plus I get to get all the discounts on things like haircuts (Tuesdays), groceries (Mondays), yoga (off peak membership). Have applied for work at an animal shelter and visiting deaf people - each a couple of hours a week. Next week I'll be nipping down to London on the train midweek to catch up with a friend, discuss a wee freelance job she wants doing, probably do some shopping and visit the Victoria & Albert.

It's marvellous.
^Heaven.
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Old 30th October 2011, 5:43 AM   #25
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Friend of mine wrote a book about work called, "Why should I work for you?"

Here's an interview with him:

http://www.netacadadvantage.com/2011...work-for-you_/
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Old 30th October 2011, 12:27 PM   #26
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^Couldn't load the interview. Will try again later.

Identity is definitely tied to my job.
Reaching certain goals for financial security is as well.
Yet, the Dalai Lama has a good point...

"The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered, 'Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.

And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.'"

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Old 30th October 2011, 1:42 PM   #27
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You're young, determined, skilled and conscientious; have you considered working for yourself / being a consultant? In times like these, there's actually a lot of work out there as more buyers become canny with their money and are happy to skip the middleman to get the same result.
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Old 30th October 2011, 2:14 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by betterdeal View Post
You're young, determined, skilled and conscientious; have you considered working for yourself / being a consultant? In times like these, there's actually a lot of work out there as more buyers become canny with their money and are happy to skip the middleman to get the same result.
I've considered it.
Until recently, it was my goal to go free agent again once I hit my mid-30's.
But the trajectory of my current position is alluring (yet costly).
Will have to throw consulting back into the mix of possibilities.
Thanks, bd.

(BTW, the interview loaded once I moved from Mac to PC.)
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Old 30th October 2011, 2:17 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by betterdeal View Post
I have my own company and work from home. I work a 20 hour week, and my colleagues (we telecommute) are all very pleasant. 4 hours a day is enough for me. There's so much to do in the day time, like amble around the town and parks on my bike, go for a stroll, or have a nap, and so many people not doing office jobs to meet. Plus I get to get all the discounts on things like haircuts (Tuesdays), groceries (Mondays), yoga (off peak membership). Have applied for work at an animal shelter and visiting deaf people - each a couple of hours a week. Next week I'll be nipping down to London on the train midweek to catch up with a friend, discuss a wee freelance job she wants doing, probably do some shopping and visit the Victoria & Albert.

It's marvellous.
Sounds like my dream job. I'd always wanted to freelance, but two things hold me back:

1) Fear of not being able to get it off the ground, or maintain a steady flow of clients. No clients = zero income.

2) Worry that I would be missing out on a lot of social life by working at home. Lots of people get friends and acquaintances via school/work.

How did you overcome those?
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Old 30th October 2011, 4:21 PM   #30
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I made very few plans. I needed to leave my job. It was costing my health, I wasn't going anywhere, and I hadn't learnt anything in over a year. I tried a career change to becoming a massage therapist for a couple of months. That didn't work. I borrowed lots of money, moved into a shared house to cut costs and spent a LOT of time on my CV, getting everyone to review it until it was top drawer.

I looked for telecommute work and suggested I work as a contractor to them and they liked it - lower taxes and less risk for them. Higher income and higher risk for me. I'm only two months into this, with one long term client, but this weekend someone I know via networking has put me forward for a month long role, part-time, that will pay a lot, which will give me a buffer zone - I can put some of that cash aside to cover downtime and some to pay off some of the money I borrowed.

You do carry the risk of no income, which is what appeals to lots of employers. But if push comes to shove there's bar work, shelves need stacking, streets need sweeping. I can live on very little if I have to. That's how I deal with the fear of no income.

Because I choose my hours (most of the time) I can pop out a lot more and do things like yoga and volunteering, or having lunch in a pub, and I meet people doing that sort of thing. Outside of the rush hour crowd, people are pretty friendly and interesting. I definitely feel there are much more opportunities to socialise outside of a permanent role in an office, if you wish to.

And if it doesn't work out, I can look for a permanent role and go back to doing that again. But, for now, because my work is much much much less stressful, I don't comfort eat or comfort spend anything like I used to. That's cut my costs, made my life much more enjoyable and, as it happens, my take home income right now is the same as it was when I was full-time permanent. I have my clients and colleagues, house-mates, friends, family with which to socialise and because I am happier and have more free time, I enjoy my time with them more.

I have thought of hiring desk space in an office, but that's very low priority.

It is risky, and I spent years pondering about the idea. Now I've done it, I am enjoying it loads. Next year I fancy spending a month in Sri Lanka or India and being freelance makes that much more likely. It feels like leaving the parental home all over. Freedom.
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