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Is your job your life?


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

 
 
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Old 6th October 2011, 9:00 PM   #1
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Is your job your life?

I believe that I haven't remarried, because I've put my job at the top of my hierarchy of needs. After my first marriage, I vowed I would never be financially dependent on a man again. And I haven't been. Instead, I have become very successful and feel extremely fortunate. But I realized that my baby bearing years are coming to an end (I'm a realist) and I'm kicking myself.

When things don't go well at work, I obsess. I work even when I don't have to. My job is fairly stressful, with high expectations and very few boundaries. I feel like I'm on lockdown, or like I have to ask permission to keep plans on my off time. I have only not canceled my plans 2ce in a decade. The first time, I was moved from the department.

Yet, I haven't left. And I thrive on the pressure, part of the time. I have tried to re prioritize and dated a lot in the last year, but nothing worked out. I feel like i'm missing out on a lot of things that life has to offer.

Am I the only person who does this? And is there anyone who has learned how to balance and set boundaries at work to let them know that you have a right to a personal life?
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Old 7th October 2011, 2:01 AM   #2
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Nah I quit and took a while off; life needs to be lived a bit.
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Old 7th October 2011, 4:00 AM   #3
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Yes, my work is definitely my life, these days a bit too much so. For me it's very connected with my love for learning - I feel I learn SO much through the right jobs. But there's also a small part of me who's always had school and work as a pleasant constant, when I was a child my family life and social life was either messed up quite badly or just unpleasant, so work became the positive aspect of my life.

Right now I'm wishing for a better balance, because I feel it's impacting my social life and my health too much. But I don't generally think it's a negative thing to 'live to work', as long as you don't compromise your health or neglect your SO.
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Old 7th October 2011, 5:03 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daphne View Post
I believe that I haven't remarried, because I've put my job at the top of my hierarchy of needs. After my first marriage, I vowed I would never be financially dependent on a man again. And I haven't been. Instead, I have become very successful and feel extremely fortunate. But I realized that my baby bearing years are coming to an end (I'm a realist) and I'm kicking myself.

When things don't go well at work, I obsess. I work even when I don't have to. My job is fairly stressful, with high expectations and very few boundaries. I feel like I'm on lockdown, or like I have to ask permission to keep plans on my off time. I have only not canceled my plans 2ce in a decade. The first time, I was moved from the department.

Yet, I haven't left. And I thrive on the pressure, part of the time. I have tried to re prioritize and dated a lot in the last year, but nothing worked out. I feel like i'm missing out on a lot of things that life has to offer.

Am I the only person who does this? And is there anyone who has learned how to balance and set boundaries at work to let them know that you have a right to a personal life?
I love working but will have planned periods where I do nothing. I think it is important to have work free periods where one takes at very least three weeks off, at best three months.

I think it is refreshing to allow yourself to see that everything doesn't collapse if you are not there!

I am looking forward to stopping working shortly and doing other things. More than likey I will go back at some point but it will be in a different guise.

All in all, I would say that something important is dawning on you and you need to look at it closely. Life is very short. Make sure you do all the stuff you really want to do. I think that work can be a form of escapism. We all know that there are positive and negatives to escapism. Just be mindful of balance.

Well done anyway for being good at what you do!

Take care,
Eve x
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Old 7th October 2011, 5:18 AM   #5
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Eugh! I could never let a job be my life.
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Old 7th October 2011, 8:43 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by denise_xo View Post
Right now I'm wishing for a better balance, because I feel it's impacting my social life and my health too much. But I don't generally think it's a negative thing to 'live to work', as long as you don't compromise your health or neglect your SO.
Unfortunately, the stress from my job and aggressive work personalities has taken a toll on my health. Probably the major factor in why this is coming to light.

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I love working but will have planned periods where I do nothing. I think it is important to have work free periods where one takes at very least three weeks off, at best three months. Eve x
I love my job too. But I think it might be time for a break. I had asked my boss about a sabbatical, and he advised that I would have to re interview to come back and that there were no guarantees. Essentially, I feel like I was being put on notice that I'm expendable if I do decide to take such a step. So, I woke up at 5am and decided to type up my resignation. When I feel comfortable with things, I'll turn it in. I'm not sure that where I'm working, I will ever achieve a balance between work and life. And I'd love the opportunity to get bored enough to miss the stress of work.

Trying to look at things positively. It's not easy, though, when you give them your free time, and don't get respect or much recognition in return.
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Old 7th October 2011, 9:07 AM   #7
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I have always worked to live. I don't ever want a job I have to give what should be free time to. I am grateful I put in my 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and am free as a bird once I'm off the clock. I am grateful I have scheduled breaks during my day that are guaranteed, that my break time isn't merely 'when I have time for one'. My job doesn't dominate my life. I can't understand people who are essentially married to their jobs, who sacrifice their health, overall well-being, and personal lives to their work. I could never live like that.
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Old 7th October 2011, 9:08 AM   #8
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When I got divorced, I used my job as a way of avoiding the pain, of trying to make up for my "failure" in my mind, and to claw my way out of debt. But instead of cutting back in time, it became like a drug and I even got a second job and started squirrling away money, oh man I was ON TOP AND IN CHARGE!!!!

But then I started feeling burned out. I was forced to let go of the second job, and thankfully, I had built up so much vacation time, I was forced to take that too! It allowed me to dial it back and get my bearings again.

I'd quietly begin looking for a different job with less stress, then I'd drop the resignation on them. Good luck
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Old 8th October 2011, 9:50 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by daphne View Post
Unfortunately, the stress from my job and aggressive work personalities has taken a toll on my health. Probably the major factor in why this is coming to light.



I love my job too. But I think it might be time for a break. I had asked my boss about a sabbatical, and he advised that I would have to re interview to come back and that there were no guarantees. Essentially, I feel like I was being put on notice that I'm expendable if I do decide to take such a step. So, I woke up at 5am and decided to type up my resignation. When I feel comfortable with things, I'll turn it in. I'm not sure that where I'm working, I will ever achieve a balance between work and life. And I'd love the opportunity to get bored enough to miss the stress of work.

Trying to look at things positively. It's not easy, though, when you give them your free time, and don't get respect or much recognition in return.
It is hard in the current climate! Yeah, you have to be careful. Think hard about the resignation thing.

Personally, I don't take any notice of the dysfunctional types at work - waste of time. I take time away to ensure I never become like them.. twats. There aren't many thankfully, but it only takes one or two to make things horrid.

Daphne, you do sound like you need a bit of a break.

Where I work we can disappear for up to a year and they have to save our job. It's being able to fund oneself with very long breaks that is the challenge. How long can you take off without having to reapply?

What would you do once you are able to take some time off? I would love to know!

Take care,
Eve x

P.s. *HUGS*

Value yourself. Don't wait for them to value you. Take that line back. Bosses typically are idiots, with a few nice ones dotted around.
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Old 8th October 2011, 3:53 PM   #10
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My job is never my life, I usually hate whatever job I have. Life should be about more than pointless work to pay bills.
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Old 8th October 2011, 4:20 PM   #11
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With my current life situation (GF of 8 years left me, yet keeps my hopes alive, she's testing what it's like to be alone as we were very young when we go together) I wish my job was my life but it isn't. Just a 8-4 job. I joined the gym to get my self in shape and to kill time and now i'm thinking about a 2nd job just to kill time
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Old 11th October 2011, 5:41 AM   #12
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I am highly unsatisfied with my current job as there is long working hours and no intensive policy with fixed pay scale. The management is not cooperative with any one. All the decisions are made solely by the owner. I hate my job.
What sort of management would want to share leadership with an employee who is unaware of the difference between intensive and incentive? Sounds like they are doing a good job more than likely and it's a miracle some people can even land a job. Seriously.
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Old 11th October 2011, 5:42 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Rimer View Post
With my current life situation (GF of 8 years left me, yet keeps my hopes alive, she's testing what it's like to be alone as we were very young when we go together) I wish my job was my life but it isn't. Just a 8-4 job. I joined the gym to get my self in shape and to kill time and now i'm thinking about a 2nd job just to kill time
What you need is probably a 2nd GF to test what it's like to not be with a crazy bitch.

Last edited by 123321; 11th October 2011 at 5:43 AM.. Reason: spelling
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Old 11th October 2011, 7:28 AM   #14
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My job was my life. In part because I was ambitious, and in part because it was necessary in order to maintain the highly materialistic lifestyle my ex-wife and children aspired to. It also provided me with a handy escape as the divergence in our values and interests became increasingly apparent. I forged most of my strongest friendships through my professional life and I realised many of my aspirations through my work. It also allowed me to meet the woman of my dreams.

Although we work together, and our work allows us to travel together and share every facet of our lives, I also find I have a better work-life balance now that I am happily married and have other sources of validation outside of my work.
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Old 15th October 2011, 3:26 AM   #15
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I don't like my job as the salary package is not enough to support my family and my needs. The management has no sense at all. They don't know how to treat the human resource.
Clearly you should take a one of the many new opportunities where you would be treated as you deserve.
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