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I've hate my job yet feel trapped


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Old 9th August 2011, 7:22 PM   #1
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I've hate my job yet feel trapped

I was having lunch with friends on Sunday and my gf said to me- "why are your hands shaking?" It was because I was thinking about having to go back to work the next day!

It is such a stressful environment- and it has contributed to my anxiety as much as the miscarriage and break up. I wake up every morning and dread facing the work. It's a developing company- and my boss and I deal directly with the owner. I've never met a more wretchid woman. She's a terrible bully, and everytime the phone rings my insides turn upside down.

One moment she's screaming at me that I'm incompetent, then 15 minutes later she's calling me on another matter and acts like she didn't just scream at me. It's all about the numbers, so when my stores aren't making target- she comes down hard on my boss and I. She's like that with all the regionals and area managers. It's the most stressful environment I've ever worked in.

I actually turned my phone off today- the first time I've ever done it... It's my day off and I'm sick of taking calls. I'll probably take a lot of flack for that tomorrrow but I don't care- I just want quiet.

I feel trapped though. I want to get out of retail all together- I just don't enjoy it. The problem is that I've been in retail my entire life- since I was involved in my mothers business, then took it over myself. When I look at my resume- it's only been retail. I do have a Degree and 2 diplomas, but at the age of 41, I don't have experience in anything other than retail.

The pay is good- but I seriously hate waking up every morning knowing I have to do this job. I'm sick of being screamed at, told I'm incompetent, and threatened with being fired. This can be over something silly like she walked into one of the stores and saw a dust bunny in one of the changing rooms. Managers quit constantly from being bullied and I'm constantly replacing them. She speaks to me like I am a child.

I just don't have a clue what I'd do, and I'd have to consider that I probably wouldn't make as much as I do now. I feel trapped.

I feel like I want to do something completely different, I just don't know what. All I know is that life is too short to be spending 10 hours of my day in a job that I detest.
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Old 9th August 2011, 9:15 PM   #2
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Yeah, you definitely need to get out of there. No point in staying in a job that is making you miserable. It may be a difficult thing to have to move to another job with less pay, but it's surely gotta be better than having to deal with all that crap.
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Old 9th August 2011, 9:18 PM   #3
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What use is money if you're dead or insane?

Something to think about
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Old 9th August 2011, 9:22 PM   #4
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What use is money if you're dead or insane?

Something to think about
That's what my friends have said

I just have to figure out what I want to do.
I'm smart and capable, but I don't want to be in a sales driven industry anymore- at least not on the front line of it.
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Old 9th August 2011, 9:23 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by D-Lish View Post
The pay is good- but I seriously hate waking up every morning knowing I have to do this job. I'm sick of being screamed at, told I'm incompetent, and threatened with being fired. This can be over something silly like she walked into one of the stores and saw a dust bunny in one of the changing rooms. Managers quit constantly from being bullied and I'm constantly replacing them. She speaks to me like I am a child.
My gosh.. nobody should have to work in an environment where they are screamed at or demeaned and even worse that it happens all the time.

You do need to leave.. it won't get better and will only pull you under more. She will not change and in the end you will burn out and then she will have a reason to fire you.

The key will be where will you go... you are right to start looking at your options now.
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Old 9th August 2011, 9:26 PM   #6
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Just because you had to shutter your last business doesn't mean that particular path is closed to you forever. Hint: It doesn't have to be retail. Be creative.
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Old 9th August 2011, 11:59 PM   #7
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My gosh.. nobody should have to work in an environment where they are screamed at or demeaned and even worse that it happens all the time.

You do need to leave.. it won't get better and will only pull you under more. She will not change and in the end you will burn out and then she will have a reason to fire you.

The key will be where will you go... you are right to start looking at your options now.
This is retail- it's the norm. People are always yelling, I get threatened with being fired all the time. I have gf's in my same position and the pressure is insane.

This is not my calling- I'm doing it for the money currently. I don't make bad money as an area Manager. However, I am never off the clock, and I never wake up thinking that I am happy to start work.

I actually shut my phone off today- it's my day off, and I've never done that before. I've reached the end of my rope...

I am not turning my phone on until 8am tomorrow when I am back on the clock. I'll get in crap tomorrow for not being available, but I don't care.
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Old 10th August 2011, 3:16 AM   #8
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Suggest she pays you for each call you take out of hours.

Have a look around things like www.elance.com or www.peopleperhour.com and see if there's anything there you fancy trying to get into as a freelancer. I'm sure there will be academic papers you can mark / assess in whatever you studied; that's another line of work you can get into. Won't pay as much money, but less stressful so doesn't cost as much.
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Old 10th August 2011, 3:35 AM   #9
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What use is money if you're dead or insane?

Something to think about
I wish you'd said that a lonnnnng time ago, it took me way too long to leave my last firm!! GREAT WORDS!
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Old 10th August 2011, 8:49 PM   #10
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Just because you had to shutter your last business doesn't mean that particular path is closed to you forever. Hint: It doesn't have to be retail. Be creative.
I've been looking Simply having a degree helps a lot.
If it was 10 years ago, I'd go back to school.

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Suggest she pays you for each call you take out of hours.

Have a look around things like www.elance.com or www.peopleperhour.com and see if there's anything there you fancy trying to get into as a freelancer. I'm sure there will be academic papers you can mark / assess in whatever you studied; that's another line of work you can get into. Won't pay as much money, but less stressful so doesn't cost as much.
I'd suggest it and get yelled at

I'll take a look at those websites- thanks for the hint. I'd take a pay cut for sure- it's not worth all of this BS.

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It's important to be happy in your job, if it's to the point of dreading it, shaking at the thought of it, you gotta go. Money is money, but it's not replacing your happiness, is it?
I am on holidays next week, I'm counting down the days. My boss has been on holidays these past 2 weeks- so I've had more direct contact with the owner.

On a daily basis she's telling everyone they are incompetent. My gf is a regional manager for a different retail company- and the same screaming and BS goes on in her company as well. It's sales driven, so everyone is always stressed about numbers. She's emotional, so she cries when she gets yelled at, lol.

My owner is the type of woman that never has anything good to say- and she's completely irrational. She walked into one of my stores the other day and went into the back room to see that some of the merchandise in the back room didn't have security tags (not on the floor, but in the back room)- so of course I get an angry phone call- I need to fire this Manager, and obviously I am not doing my job because of this... Yet- head office is out of security tags... and you can't tag things when you're asking for security tags and they don't have any... Yet- somehow this is still my fault. I've told her over and over they have no security tags at head office- and she says to me the other day "why didn't you tell me..." "Um, I did stupid".

It's honestly a nightmare waking up every morning, because the calls start at 8am and don't end until she decides she's done ranting for the day.

My RM gets it's much worse. We've been out to lunch and she'll get a call and I'll hear the screaming through the phone from across the table. I don't know how she does it. It's such a hostile environment, and I have to get out of there...

I can't take too much of a paycut though- because my rent is expensive

Last edited by D-Lish; 10th August 2011 at 8:52 PM..
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Old 10th August 2011, 9:32 PM   #11
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D, I'm going to suggest that you hold off for awhile before making any firm decisions. While your boss sounds like a really unprofessional harridan, you might want to give yourself time to settle down from so many of the emotional upheavals that have happened in your recent history.
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Old 10th August 2011, 10:50 PM   #12
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Is there an HR department that you could use to help you?

It is so sad that you are so educated, yet you cannot find something better. We are fed the lie that education always leads to a comfortable life. When times are hard, degrees can often mean very little.

I'm sure that you have many transferable skills, from being a manager.
HR is a loose term in our company. I am positive that they get yelled at as much as everyone else. It's a start up company- so only 18 stores... I couldn't go to HR and complain about being bullied by the owner that probably bullies them as well. This is the owner, so compaining about her is useless.

I will use my week off to re-vamp my resume

I love that face too!!! who does it belong to??? lol

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D, I'm going to suggest that you hold off for awhile before making any firm decisions. While your boss sounds like a really unprofessional harridan, you might want to give yourself time to settle down from so many of the emotional upheavals that have happened in your recent history.
I am also moving again- I have been in a short term lease, and have found a really ideal studio apartment that I am so happy about moving in to. The rent isn't cheap though, so I can't make a hasty decision unless I find a job that will cover it.

I won't quit or walk away- mostly because my immediate boss is my friend- and I would never leave her hanging.

Last edited by D-Lish; 10th August 2011 at 10:53 PM..
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Old 10th August 2011, 10:58 PM   #13
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It sounds awful D. Glad you have some days off coming up.

Any chance you could have access to career counseling? I'm sure there's a way to "transfer" your skills to some cushier jobs. When I was job hunting, this government job came up in the field of tourism. They were looking for someone who could do market development. The product? Canada. You would make a great ambassador .
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Old 10th August 2011, 11:09 PM   #14
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It sounds awful D. Glad you have some days off coming up.

Any chance you could have access to career counseling? I'm sure there's a way to "transfer" your skills to some cushier jobs. When I was job hunting, this government job came up in the field of tourism. They were looking for someone who could do market development. The product? Canada. You would make a great ambassador .
I could do a lot of things- it's just a matter of finding time to re-vamp my resume and send back applications. I'm working 9-10 hours a day currently and dealing with long commutes between stores.

The problem is that with every job I am interested in- I have to change my resume to exemplify the traits and experience an employer is looking for.

When I see a job I like- I alter my resume to indicate my relevant
qualifilcations. I just don't always have the time to do it.
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Old 10th August 2011, 11:23 PM   #15
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I could do a lot of things- it's just a matter of finding time to re-vamp my resume and send back applications. I'm working 9-10 hours a day currently and dealing with long commutes between stores.

The problem is that with every job I am interested in- I have to change my resume to exemplify the traits and experience an employer is looking for.

When I see a job I like- I alter my resume to indicate my relevant
qualifilcations. I just don't always have the time to do it.
You know how Somedude81 comes up for an excuse every time we try to tell him how to get a girl. Well applying and getting a job you like is some what like going after a girl. You need to stop making excuses and just put some applications in. A crappy resume and cover letter is worth far more then not even applying.

Even though you work 9-10 you obviously have time to apply to at least one job a week. Heck if you tried you could probably apply to at least a few jobs a week.

You keep this job now and the thought that you are trying to leave and will leave for something you like better will make all the difference. Right now you feel hopeless. Bring hope back in by trying.
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