Facebook friending colleagues

[OWoman]

Do you friend your work colleagues on Facebook or not?

 

My RL friends and colleagues seem pretty divide on this. Some consider it unprofessional, and don't want their colleagues seeing pictures of them in their bikinis on the beach, or surrounded by inebriates at a party; and others reckon that if you know them well enough to be "work mates" or even friends, what's the harm?

 

I've always considered each case on its own merits - I don't have hard and fast rules as many of my current colleagues were initially social friends, and I feel if you've sat next to someone in a jacuzzi swilling champagne from a bottle together, what's the harm in them seeing pictures from your wedding or your shark dive?

 

If a colleague friend requests you on FB, do you accept or ignore?

[ShatteredReality]

I don't generally friend anybody I work directly with. Folks from other depts I used to work in or ex coworkers yes, but current coworkers - not so much. I find it's much easier to vent if there was a stressful day that way. Even though I make a practice not to name names about that stuff - someone I work with more directly could potentially take offense and that would just make for another stressful day. It's not a hard and fast rule, but a general guideline for me.

[glimmer]

I do have coworkers and clients on my FB page. I made the huge mistake of not being selective. Now my FB is very generic and dry. It's not a place I consider as personal, comfortable and fun. I don't add pictures or update my status because I don't want about 85% of the people on there to know all that about me!

 

I've thought about creating a new unsearchable FB account and just adding people who I can really hang loose with and be myself around. But it's such a headache, I don't know what to do!

 

Everyone is different but I personally would advise you to keep some people separate from your FB life. sigh.

[J200]

Honestly, I don't talk to any of my colleagues much. I eat lunch alone and I wear headphones all day at work. I don't think I spoke to anyone all day except to say hi, bye and I had to chat with someone in the hallway cause they were going my way.

 

I don't socialize with anyone at work and would never add them on FB. I am anti-social period.

 

The only person I talk to is my boss.

[cerridwen]

Honestly, I don't talk to any of my colleagues much. I eat lunch alone and I wear headphones all day at work. I don't think I spoke to anyone all day except to say hi, bye and I had to chat with someone in the hallway cause they were going my way.

 

I don't socialize with anyone at work and would never add them on FB. I am anti-social period.

 

The only person I talk to is my boss.

 

Do you worry your anti-social behavior will hold you back professionally? Have you ever tried to work on it? I've seen you mention it frequently on your posts.

[DatingForLOLs]

I see zero harm in adding colleagues or bosses, personally.

 

Where is the harm? What do you have to hide?

 

The fact that you have a life?

 

We spend at least half of our lives thinking, or being, at work. So you might as well make the most of it and treat these people as your friends. As somebody who runs his own business from home, I definitely miss the social interaction of being in an office and having a laugh with my old workmates.

[Els]

The problem is that ignoring someone's request is a surefire way to be asked about it and causes a lot of awkwardness. I didn't WANT to add a lot of people on FB, especially relatives and such, but didn't have much of a choice.

[OWoman]

The problem is that ignoring someone's request is a surefire way to be asked about it and causes a lot of awkwardness. I didn't WANT to add a lot of people on FB, especially relatives and such, but didn't have much of a choice.

 

 

This is potentially a problem - especially if your page is visible and they can see you've been around, but haven't responded to their request yet...

 

One former colleague had a polite standard reply to anyone who wanted to friend him, that he used FB only to keep in contact with his kids (who were overseas) and so he didn't friend anyone except family. People thought that a little quaint, but no one felt offended. He also locked his profile down so no one could really tell if he was being honest about that or not, but they weren't interested enough to make an issue of it either way.

[Eeyore79]

I don't add colleagues on Facebook because I think it's too risky.

 

http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=4791295&page=1

This girl was weeks away from getting her teaching degree when she posted a photo of herself wearing a pirate hat and holding a glass which she later claimed contained a soft drink. The caption under the photo said "Drunken Pirate". Despite the fact that she was aged 27 and therefore old enough to drink alcohol anyway, her school accused her of unprofessional conduct and promoting underage drinking, and refused to award her teaching degree.

 

In addition:

Four teachers in Charlotte were disciplined because of their unprofessional Facebook posts.

 

A high school teacher in MA lost her job because of comments on her Facebook wall.

 

A stadium employee in Philadelphia said something derogatory about the home team on his Facebook page, and was fired.

 

Virgin Airlines fired 13 cabin crew for criticizing the airline and its passengers on their Facebook pages.

 

A Nebraska prison guard was fired for a Facebook post in which he bragged about violence towards inmates.

 

Thirteen nurses were fired in PA after a Facebook chat was deemed to be racist.

 

A professor from PA was suspended after joking on Facebook about killing her students when she had a bad day.

 

An office admin girl in the UK was fired when her boss discovered her Facebook posts about how dull her job was.

 

I could continue, but you get the idea. It simply isn't safe to have anyone as a Facebook friend if they have any connection to you in a professional sense.

[OWoman]

I could continue, but you get the idea. It simply isn't safe to have anyone as a Facebook friend if they have any connection to you in a professional sense.

 

Wow!! :eek: :eek:

 

I'm glad I work in an environment where freedom of speech and freedom of association is constitutionally guaranteed! Also, I guess it's just easier to fire people in the US than elsewhere - even if one stood accused of "bringing the organisation into disrepute" (like the virgin and stadium employees), that's still only a warning, and not a dismissal, at worst! (I've given interviews to the press during a strike, about how unfair the employer was leading to the strike action, which is far more "defaming" than a couple of negative posts on a FB wall... and all that happened was I got heaps more phone calls from the media wanting comment on unrelated matters - which I guess was punishment aplenty )

[O'Malley]

Eeyore summed it up well. I consider a couple of my coworkers good acquaintances, but I prefer not having my personal life subject to the scrutiny of workplace politics.

[fail]

Two options...well 3.

 

1. Using your personal account accept them, but you can add them to lists and block those lists from viewing things like photos and posts. Defeats the purpose of being "friends" but keeps them out of your personal life.

 

2. Create a second FB profile that you use to allow co workers and other professional contacts friend you and stay in contact.

 

3. Lastly just act like you don't use FB much and if someone bugs you about it say oh I'll look at the request.

 

It is uncomfortable and if you want your personal life separate from your professional the best bet is just say no. However, if you must I think option 1 or 2 work well.

[Eeyore79]

I solve the problem by saying that I prefer to keep my work and personal life separate, but I'm happy to connect on Linked In if they like. Either that or, as fail said, accept them as a friend but but place severe restrictions on what they can see. Also change your settings so you can't be found or contacted by anyone who isn't a friend, which puts you in the driving seat regarding who you wish to be friends with.

[HeavenOrHell]

I wouldn't add work colleagues unless they've become friends, there's stuff I share with my friends which I wouldn't want my work colleagues to know!!

I think you can just be vague and say you don't really use it much. Too many people add people just for the sake of it, can't see the point in that myself.

[TurboGirl]

Only certain colleagues from work, who you consider true friends. No bosses or higher ups, big mistake there. I don't "friend" work colleagues, I wait for them to friend me. If they do and I like the person I accept. If not, I ignore it.

 

Also... why on earth would you want to post a photo of you whooping it up and drunk at a party? That could come back & haunt you years later. I would never post any photo that shows anything untoward. Seriously.

 

And never post any negative comments about work! EVER!! Even if you don't have your work people there, keep that stuff to yourself!

[OWoman]

Only certain colleagues from work, who you consider true friends. No bosses or higher ups, big mistake there. I don't "friend" work colleagues, I wait for them to friend me. If they do and I like the person I accept. If not, I ignore it.

 

Also... why on earth would you want to post a photo of you whooping it up and drunk at a party? That could come back & haunt you years later. I would never post any photo that shows anything untoward. Seriously.

 

And never post any negative comments about work! EVER!! Even if you don't have your work people there, keep that stuff to yourself!

 

I guess the risk is that someone else does and tags you.

[paleblue]

like you, i dont have any hard and fast rules on it.

 

altho i am inclined not too invite co-workers onto my facebook, i take it on a case by case basis. generally speaking i do not. however there are a couple that seem to be different if that makes sense. a manager requested me as a friend, and i reluctantly accepted, but i blocked them from seeing anything on my wall, because i dont want the stress from it. i consider my facbook my fun place to be and it is private where i can unwind and say anything i want without worrying about repercussions. i want to enjoy it.

[WorldIsYours]

I accept co-workers and my boss as friends on Facebook. It is kind of annoying when they write on my wall a lot.

[amerikajin]

I don't add colleagues on Facebook because I think it's too risky.

 

http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=4791295&page=1

This girl was weeks away from getting her teaching degree when she posted a photo of herself wearing a pirate hat and holding a glass which she later claimed contained a soft drink. The caption under the photo said "Drunken Pirate". Despite the fact that she was aged 27 and therefore old enough to drink alcohol anyway, her school accused her of unprofessional conduct and promoting underage drinking, and refused to award her teaching degree.

 

In addition:

Four teachers in Charlotte were disciplined because of their unprofessional Facebook posts.

 

A high school teacher in MA lost her job because of comments on her Facebook wall.

 

A stadium employee in Philadelphia said something derogatory about the home team on his Facebook page, and was fired.

 

Virgin Airlines fired 13 cabin crew for criticizing the airline and its passengers on their Facebook pages.

 

A Nebraska prison guard was fired for a Facebook post in which he bragged about violence towards inmates.

 

Thirteen nurses were fired in PA after a Facebook chat was deemed to be racist.

 

A professor from PA was suspended after joking on Facebook about killing her students when she had a bad day.

 

An office admin girl in the UK was fired when her boss discovered her Facebook posts about how dull her job was.

 

I could continue, but you get the idea. It simply isn't safe to have anyone as a Facebook friend if they have any connection to you in a professional sense.

 

You make a good case for simply having no Facebook at all. In some of the above cases, the users had not actually friended the complainants, but due to Facebook's less-than-user-friendly and ever-changing privacy settings, online passers by were able to observe their pictures and personal pages as a friend might, which led to their undoing.

 

I'm seriously toying with the idea of shutting down my FB page. I originally used FB to do social networking -- with friends. Unfortunately, social networking turned into family and social networking and then family, professional, and social networking. I don't make apologies for trying to compartmentalize my life.

[PegNosePete]

You make a good case for simply having no Facebook at all.

Well I think it's a better case for engaging brain before using mouth/fingers.

 

Most of the things mentioned there are pretty stupid things to do/say. Those people would not walk into a room full of all their friends and family and whoever else is on their friends list and shout those things out to everyone... so why put them on facebook?

[TurboGirl]

I guess the risk is that someone else does and tags you.

 

You can keep a watch on that, and once you untag yourself in a pic, you can't be tagged again. A good thing! I try never to be holding any beverage when a pic is taken

[jean-luc sisko]

I seldom ask, but if they ask me, I usually accept. I hardly use Facebook anyhow, so privacy is not an issue for me.