Intimidation

[HokeyReligions]

This may be a little long, but I do have a problem this time and not just another opinion!

 

Okay, I started a new job on August 18. It is an unusual circumstance – I was working contract for an engineering firm and this newly created position opened up. The CFO interviewed and tested 20 people and selected me. I’m staying on contract for another couple of months until my contract expires, then I will be a permanent employee.

 

The thing is, this is a brand new position – there is not another one quite like it in the company and it’s up to me to completely create this position and I have very broad guidelines to go by. That’s kinda cool, except that along with broad guidelines, I have virtually no leadership and no one I can go to and ask if I’m doing what they need me to do. Practically no feed-back from the CFO because she’s so busy and never in her office. Her responses to my emails need explanation and the few times I’ve asked her a question she has told me that (1) I’m not here to ask questions, I’m here to do a job (figure that one out) and (2) when I asked her which secretary in the department is most likely to have some background information I need such as contact or distribution lists, she abruptly replied “I don’t know what you are asking me. Do you want to know who sets up meetings or what? I don’t know what you are asking me” and I had to explain in more detail (than I felt I should have) what I was after.

 

This is turning out to be a real challenge (I knew it would be) and kind of odd at the same time since I’m hardly ever intimidated by anyone, and yet every time the phone rings my chest constricts because it may be my boss, the CFO. I don’t know why I feel intimidated by her, I’ve worked for strong women before! She’s been nothing but nice to me since she hired me, and she did choose me over 19 other people. I’m not accustomed to feeling like this about anyone. I don’t like it and my mantra “she’s just a person, blah blah blah” is not working. No, I don’t like this feeling at all.

 

It may be that I had reservations about my ability to do the job when I interviewed for the position, but I’m here now and doing it (& I have received positive feed back from several people including my boss) or I’m afraid of scrutiny, or I’m feeling guilty because, even though I’m putting in 10 – 12 hours a day and eating lunch at my desk, I take time a few times a day to come here and read or post something. I don’t know why I feel this way and I don’t know how to not feel this way. And my boss is almost never in her office (we are on different floors too so it’s not like I can jump up and run to catch her when I see her) and even when I do get to catch up to her, she never has more than a couple of minutes and that’s just not enough time to discuss anything.

 

This is only my second week, but instead of feeling more comfortable communicating with her – I’m actually feeling more uncomfortable or intimidated as the days pass. Maybe it’s because I do sit so far away and have not gotten to know very many people here yet.

 

Why would I suddenly be intimidated by someone? The last time I felt this way was when I first started working in business, when I was still in college, and everyone was in awe of the executive at first.

[EnigmaXOXO]

Hokey,

 

First of all, you got that spot for a good reason. Congratulations!

 

On one hand, I can sympathize whole-heartedly. I've been there, and its not easy when your immediate supervisor is another female. There doesn't seem to be the same camaraderie and "team work" between females as there is between male colleagues. (Just a personal observation and not based on actual fact!)

 

But on the positive side, you seem to at least have a boss with the "hands off" approach so you won't be micro-managed into insanity!! And what a wonderful opportunity to come into a field where you are given an opportunity to create your own position!

 

I KNOW how difficult it is to get your barrings when you don't even know where to start, particularly when the people around you can't provide you with any input or information. But you'll figure it out...I PROMISE...just don't let that self-defeating doubt creep in. Talk to the people around you, figure out what needs to be "fixed" or improved than use those excellent problem solving skills of yours. I'm sure that's the potential your employer saw in you from the onset! You'll get it...it just takes time to warm up to your new environment and figure out whats going on.

 

Good luck to you, you deserve it! What a wonderful opportunity you have been given!!

[quankanne]

bingo, Enigma, you've beat me to it: "It just takes time to warm up to your new environment and figure out whats going on"

 

hokey, first off, congratulations on landing the job, I know how worried you were about landing something permanent. You did it girl!

 

as for boss-lady, maybe block off some time with her secretary for an appointment so that you can have her undivided attention while you talk with her about certain issues that you aren't sure how to handle. Sometimes that's all it takes, I know that I can sit and fret away good valuable time, then finally work up the nerve to ask my editor what he was talking about when he handed me X-assignment, and boom, he tells me in a five minute conversation, and everything seems to be solved! Just explain to her that you're still getting your bearings with this new position and you want to do it right, that's why you want to bounce ideas off her from time to time. And the longer you work there/with her, the easier it'll come.

 

good luck

[midori]

She sounds like a very busy woman who perhaps has too much coming at her from too many directions (at least in her view).

 

I used to work for a woman like that, and I know that the thing that she valued in her staff was self-sufficiency governed by enough intelligence to know when to ask for clarification or direction. Some of the staff members would run to her for every little thing the moment it arose; she quickly grew annoyed with them and viewed them as incompetent weaklings who couldn't think for themselves.

 

You might try to establish a regular email/memo that you send to her once a day, with questions laid out in bullet or number format. You could send it either right at the beginning or at the very end of the day -- with all of the questions (hopefully not too many in any one memo) laid out in a logical hierarchy. You could ask her to get back to you by the end of the day, or by the end of the next day (whatever). You could flag urgent questions needing more immediate answers, but it's best to keep those to a minimum. If you did this you would convey the sense that you are absolutely on top of your game but checking in for direction as needed, in a controlled fashion. She'll be able to factor your questions into her day, knowing that there is a window of time for her to do so: "there's that memo from Hokey, I should get back to her about these things by the end of the day." That's a lot better than feeling put on the spot with unanticipated questions.

 

Maybe this won't work for you, but at least you'd know that you were doing all you could to minimize interruptions and unexpected diversions in her day. In my experience, people above appreciate feeling like their staff knows that they're busy and need some consideration. Hopefully that's all it is with your new boss. Good luck!

[HokeyReligions]

Thank you all, I think you are right -- I just haven't been here long enough to establish a routine or for anyone to get to know me, or me them.

 

I have sent her concise emails with a clear questions that she doesn't respond to, so I've basically made up my own answers and put it all in an activity report that I will send her weekly. If there is a problem somewhere I'm sure she'll tell me. I sent the first one to her yesterday and she saw it late last night. When she called me this morning she told me she heard I was doing a fantastic job. ????? I am writing procedures now and figuring it out as I go, but I think I'm over-anxious to develop the new system, try it out internally within a small group, tweak it as necessary and then roll it out company-wide. THEN I'll feel like I'm being productive. In my "former life" I was able to produce and see results pretty frequently and here everything is "in progress" with no definite due date for roll out.

 

I'm also going to ask her what day would be good to have lunch together next week and try to just sit down and talk to her woman-to-woman about non-job related things so that we may be able to get to know each other better. That prospect still scares me though! Honestly, I don't know what is with me -- I worked for a female VP before that was very aggressive! She also loved dirty jokes and cartoons though and would always share those with me in an effort to shock me - which she never did. My new boss doesn't even use swear words! I really have to watch myself to make sure I say "darn" and "shoot" instead of, well, you know!

[quankanne]

instead of, well, you know

 

ummm ... no, hokey, I don't. I've got a pure mind

 

maybe all of this stuff seems daunting right now because you've yet to get a "feel" for her personality and her management style, at least to a point where you're comfortable with it. Deep breath, girl, take a deep breath. sounds from her comment about you doing a good job, she trusts you a lot already.

 

tomorrow is Friday – fix a batch of treats to take to the office and be sure to share with her. Not to suck up to her, but if this is the kind of thing you normally do for co-workers, you're in your comfort zone (i.e. sharing), and it could be an icebreaker of sorts between you and her ....