Problem with my crush at work...

[nat_nat]

First of all, this is my first thread so HELLO EVERYONE!! You all seem so helpful so thought I'd register and post!

 

Ok bit of background first, I work in an open office with about 25 staff in the one room (Not all are in at the same time though so it can be quite quiet on some days) I do admin work so I am in everyday all day, which is similar to my crush (I'll call him hot-stuff for use on here!), although he does a different job to me. So anyway, I started in November, when hot-stuff left just after because he was only there getting work experience. We didn't speak then AT ALL because I'm really shy and there wasn't much opportunity to, but I didn't actually like him at that point!

 

However, he was employed on a permanent basis in March, and when I knew he was coming back I was dreading it because I believed he disliked me and at the time, I disliked him just because we had never spoken and he didn’t make me feel at all welcome when I started, unlike the others.

 

We still never spoke properly around the time of him starting. We all sit and have our lunch together around one table, and I saw then how friendly and nice he was to everyone, how funny he was, but he wouldn’t even look at me so I just didn’t feel part of his conversation. He would look round at everyone when telling his little stories but never at me, obviously then I just assumed he had a major problem with me so I suppose we then ended up completely blanking each other. It was so strange, as our office is so open, loud, friendly and chatty yet I had this awkwardness with him. I’d still convinced myself up to this point that I hated him, and that although I could see how good looking he was, he wasn’t my type and he was horrible to me!! He would even avoid walking near me and avoid having his lunch near me if he could, even if there was a chair free right there!

 

Then in May, I found out I was going on a two day training course with hot-stuff and another colleague as well (and obviously other people that we didn’t know). Again, I was absolutely dreading this; I kept thinking how ridiculous it would be if we didn’t even acknowledge each other yet we work together every day. I got to the training that morning before him and found a seat in the room, secretly pleased that there some seats next to me for hot-stuff and other colleague. He walked in and we smiled and said hello and he actually sat next me!! (Small victory for myself because I really didn’t think he would!) Anyway, the two days were excellent, we were talking, having a laugh and I know it sounds silly but I felt so close to him from those days, and began to realise that he possibly doesn’t hate me. Didn’t want them to end, as I knew things would just go back to being uncomfortable at work again. I was kind of right, things were slightly better (he actually looked at me at lunch!!) and we did have a bit of small talk.

 

Our next proper chat came about 2 weeks ago at lunch. I don’t normally join in as much as I could at lunch because of my shyness and there’s bolder characters there usually. But this time, there was me, hot-stuff and one other colleague which is one of my favourite people there so I feel very comfortable with her. We were talking fine again, made each other laugh, and my crush on him was getting a bit out of hand at this point after the training days, I’m slowly getting worse! The problem is, he only seems to want to talk to me when we’re more alone, and we sit on different sides of the room so we don’t see much of each other after lunch.

 

I’m doing some work for him at the moment though so obviously that will force us to see each other more, but I just don’t know what to do!

 

So, this is finally my question:

I was COMPLETELY alone one Friday afternoon in the office, so I wrote on a post-it note ‘Your Lovely!!! x’ and left it in his drawer (changed my writing and put the incorrect ‘your’ so it wasn’t obvious). What would you think if you found this in your drawer? Is it enough for now? Because he should be able to work out who it was (The other girls are all engaged/married/a lot older, plus, there was only me and two other females at work that day! This week I heard him and a guy he sits with talking about him having a secret admirer, so he must have shown him but no one else. (I was dreading it being the talk of the office, but he hasn’t broadcasted it about luckily!)

 

What do you think of the whole situation? Could he possibly like me back? What could I do to subtly ‘spice things up’?! I just don’t know how to handle it all! We’re both single by the way…

 

Thanks so much for reading all this, and I’m very sorry for the extreme length (Fingers are aching slightly now!!)

 

Natalie

[BlackLovely]

First of all, this is my first thread so HELLO EVERYONE!! You all seem so helpful so thought I'd register and post!

 

Ok bit of background first, I work in an open office with about 25 staff in the one room (Not all are in at the same time though so it can be quite quiet on some days) I do admin work so I am in everyday all day, which is similar to my crush (I'll call him hot-stuff for use on here!), although he does a different job to me. So anyway, I started in November, when hot-stuff left just after because he was only there getting work experience. We didn't speak then AT ALL because I'm really shy and there wasn't much opportunity to, but I didn't actually like him at that point!

 

However, he was employed on a permanent basis in March, and when I knew he was coming back I was dreading it because I believed he disliked me and at the time, I disliked him just because we had never spoken and he didn’t make me feel at all welcome when I started, unlike the others.

 

We still never spoke properly around the time of him starting. We all sit and have our lunch together around one table, and I saw then how friendly and nice he was to everyone, how funny he was, but he wouldn’t even look at me so I just didn’t feel part of his conversation. He would look round at everyone when telling his little stories but never at me, obviously then I just assumed he had a major problem with me so I suppose we then ended up completely blanking each other. It was so strange, as our office is so open, loud, friendly and chatty yet I had this awkwardness with him. I’d still convinced myself up to this point that I hated him, and that although I could see how good looking he was, he wasn’t my type and he was horrible to me!! He would even avoid walking near me and avoid having his lunch near me if he could, even if there was a chair free right there!

 

Then in May, I found out I was going on a two day training course with hot-stuff and another colleague as well (and obviously other people that we didn’t know). Again, I was absolutely dreading this; I kept thinking how ridiculous it would be if we didn’t even acknowledge each other yet we work together every day. I got to the training that morning before him and found a seat in the room, secretly pleased that there some seats next to me for hot-stuff and other colleague. He walked in and we smiled and said hello and he actually sat next me!! (Small victory for myself because I really didn’t think he would!) Anyway, the two days were excellent, we were talking, having a laugh and I know it sounds silly but I felt so close to him from those days, and began to realise that he possibly doesn’t hate me. Didn’t want them to end, as I knew things would just go back to being uncomfortable at work again. I was kind of right, things were slightly better (he actually looked at me at lunch!!) and we did have a bit of small talk.

 

Our next proper chat came about 2 weeks ago at lunch. I don’t normally join in as much as I could at lunch because of my shyness and there’s bolder characters there usually. But this time, there was me, hot-stuff and one other colleague which is one of my favourite people there so I feel very comfortable with her. We were talking fine again, made each other laugh, and my crush on him was getting a bit out of hand at this point after the training days, I’m slowly getting worse! The problem is, he only seems to want to talk to me when we’re more alone, and we sit on different sides of the room so we don’t see much of each other after lunch.

 

I’m doing some work for him at the moment though so obviously that will force us to see each other more, but I just don’t know what to do!

 

So, this is finally my question:

I was COMPLETELY alone one Friday afternoon in the office, so I wrote on a post-it note ‘Your Lovely!!! x’ and left it in his drawer (changed my writing and put the incorrect ‘your’ so it wasn’t obvious). What would you think if you found this in your drawer? Is it enough for now? Because he should be able to work out who it was (The other girls are all engaged/married/a lot older, plus, there was only me and two other females at work that day! This week I heard him and a guy he sits with talking about him having a secret admirer, so he must have shown him but no one else. (I was dreading it being the talk of the office, but he hasn’t broadcasted it about luckily!)

 

What do you think of the whole situation? Could he possibly like me back? What could I do to subtly ‘spice things up’?! I just don’t know how to handle it all! We’re both single by the way…

 

Thanks so much for reading all this, and I’m very sorry for the extreme length (Fingers are aching slightly now!!)

 

Natalie

 

Natalie, I don't think you should post your real name on LS. You never know who could be reading this.

If you dread being the talk of the office, why would you do something so adolescent as passing a note? The workplace is not the environment for romantic games.

Have you ever considered how unprofessional your behavior is? What if you and this guy started dating and then broke up-how would you face him in the office? I had that experience before and if I was single, I would never again date a man from work.

The letter was more than enough and there should not be any more.

If you are focusing this much on your crush, you can't be getting much work done.