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So there's this girl at work, who I think is interested in me. There was flirting in the beginning but I'm afraid my attempt to keep it professional is hindering my chances. Maybe I just need a kick in the butt, maybe I need to be told no, maybe I need to just stay cool and let it work out. I don't know. We're both single, and youngish. Although I'm a bit older, but nothing too extreme (4 years.) We both have very similar personalities, matching zodiacs (ya i'm a zodiac dork), and we're already becoming very good office buddies. We take our breaks together, and regularly play little jokes on each other. Other co-workers are picking up on it, and tease us. Which in some ways, seems to be pushing us apart a bit. Maybe just making me try to hide it, and giving her a bad vibe. I've never had someone in an office situation who I was attracted to and I really don't want to screw it up. Plus I have a bad habit of ending up being friends with girls, and I don't want that to happen unless we at least try it. Any advice?

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If you don't ask her out on a date, you will definitely end up in the friend zone.

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Is there a way to best approach this considering we're co-workers? Give her an out or anything? I don't want things to be awkward if we say no. Or just say, hey we really have a lot in common, want to get dinner sometime?

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No on the "we have a lot in common" stuff. It's not necessary, and it's not a turn on. And it's that kind of talk that creates awkwardness if she says no.

 

When you guys are hanging out in the office at the end of the day sometime, ask her if she'd like to go out for a drink. Don't make a big deal about it. Just look at your watch and say something like, "hey, it's time to get out of here. ...would you like to go for happy hour?"

 

You should eat, because getting drunk is not helpful here, but just order a bunch of appetizers with the drinks. Dinner is what you can move to if the appetizers and drinks go well.

 

If she's busy that night, "no worries, another time." And then ask her again a week or two later. If she says no again, then let it go. If she really was busy, then she'll suggest happy hour sometime. If she wasn't busy, she doesn't want to go out with you without having to come out and say so. And you've avoided all potential awkwardness, either way.

 

I'd suggest making the happy hour suggestion on a Thursday night. That way, you're less likely to get the "I'm busy because I already made plans for Friday night" issue.

Edited by norajane
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  • 2 weeks later...

Really, I would advise against persuing her romantically. It sounds like you work together pretty closely. Office affairs rarely go well, and then you've soured the work environment. Keep co-workers in the friendzone.

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