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Possible stalker...should I quit?


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4givrnt4gtr

Very long story short I work with a somewhat dangerous population. Unfortunately one of my clients is infatuated with me and it went from his confessing of it to him literally sitting in front of my door and following to my car.

 

Needless to say im scared. this is a site im doing training and not getting paid.

I love the rest of my clients but this dude is scaring me. I already talked to my supervisor and though they are taking precautions (having someone walk me to my car and telling the guy he cant talk to me anymore) I still feel uncomfortable

 

My supervisor tells me they cant tell him to stop coming to the center so I still have to see this guy when i go to work.

 

Im not sure what to do...if i should just continue going to the site or quit. My school supervisor tells me i should quit...but i hate to cut and run. Given my profession its likely ill run into something like this again and I would hate having to run every time it happens.....

 

I dont know what to do...this is so upsetting

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ShadowBlue

OP - Have you told this guy flat out that you're not interested? Your post doesn't say whether or not you did.

 

Sometimes these feelings can be pretty strong and it's usually not until the lady says something about her not being interested that the guy usually (if he has half a brain) backs off.

 

From your post, it sounds like you've been playing the "I'm busy" card or just avoiding him. To someone with those kinds of feelings they typically may not get the hint right away. Sometimes it take someone telling them there's no chance ever to stop the situation. It may sound mean, but it is actually a direct way of saying that he should stop wasting his time.

 

It's better than calling the cops on someone that may have no idea that you don't like them.

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4givrnt4gtr
OP - Have you told this guy flat out that you're not interested? Your post doesn't say whether or not you did.

 

Sometimes these feelings can be pretty strong and it's usually not until the lady says something about her not being interested that the guy usually (if he has half a brain) backs off.

 

From your post, it sounds like you've been playing the "I'm busy" card or just avoiding him. To someone with those kinds of feelings they typically may not get the hint right away. Sometimes it take someone telling them there's no chance ever to stop the situation. It may sound mean, but it is actually a direct way of saying that he should stop wasting his time.

 

It's better than calling the cops on someone that may have no idea that you don't like them.

 

Oh no no I told him straight out in no uncertain terms. In fact not only did i say its never going to happen but I reiterated our professional relationship as therapist - patient.

Unfortunately he has a severe mental illness...which doesn't help my case at all.

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walk right up to him and state firmly and strongly that he either leaves and never comes back or you will file a restraining order the next time he's within a block of your vacinity.

 

i hope you don't drive directly home from there - he could follow you there too.

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4givrnt4gtr
walk right up to him and state firmly and strongly that he either leaves and never comes back or you will file a restraining order the next time he's within a block of your vacinity.

 

 

I wish i could do that. I asked my supervisor to place him in another clinic....he said he couldn't do that. That is why im considering leaving, even though he isn't allowed to talk to me or sit in front of my office anymore he still allowed to be in one area of the clinic which unfortunately is right next to the restrooms...(as in i wont be able to go to the restroom anymore).

 

My supervisor did say that if he tried talking to me again they will call the police but quite frankly....ughhhh i dont even know

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I wish i could do that. I asked my supervisor to place him in another clinic....he said he couldn't do that. That is why im considering leaving, even though he isn't allowed to talk to me or sit in front of my office anymore he still allowed to be in one area of the clinic which unfortunately is right next to the restrooms...(as in i wont be able to go to the restroom anymore).

 

My supervisor did say that if he tried talking to me again they will call the police but quite frankly....ughhhh i dont even know

 

tell the supervisor that's ridiculous. how could they expect you to not use the restroom? they need to get firm and have your safety in mind first.

 

this seems terribly backwards - especially since you volunteer... do they not see that as valuable? it is! they need to act like it is.

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Cinnamon2000
Very long story short I work with a somewhat dangerous population. Unfortunately one of my clients is infatuated with me and it went from his confessing of it to him literally sitting in front of my door and following to my car.

 

Needless to say im scared. this is a site im doing training and not getting paid.

I love the rest of my clients but this dude is scaring me. I already talked to my supervisor and though they are taking precautions (having someone walk me to my car and telling the guy he cant talk to me anymore) I still feel uncomfortable

 

My supervisor tells me they cant tell him to stop coming to the center so I still have to see this guy when i go to work.

 

Im not sure what to do...if i should just continue going to the site or quit. My school supervisor tells me i should quit...but i hate to cut and run. Given my profession its likely ill run into something like this again and I would hate having to run every time it happens.....

 

I dont know what to do...this is so upsetting

 

 

Yes, you should quite. If you don't feel safe, it's probably not safe. I hope he hasn't found out your address.

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4givrnt4gtr

Ok well, it all ended up with my school pulling me out of the site for my own safety... i guess i was right about leaving after all.

 

Thanks for all your inputs!

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Cinnamon2000
Ok well, it all ended up with my school pulling me out of the site for my own safety... i guess i was right about leaving after all.

 

Thanks for all your inputs!

 

Why was he targeting you? Did you flirt with him?

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Peaceful Guy
Ok well, it all ended up with my school pulling me out of the site for my own safety... i guess i was right about leaving after all.

 

Thanks for all your inputs!

 

good! :) and don't let this discourage you from your work.. hopefully it never happens again but you were right to voice concern and im glad you'll be safe. :)

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You can't reason with a mentally ill person. Let's hope he is too crazy to figure out how to find you again.

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