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... i am in love with my married boss!


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Old 5th May 2010, 10:34 PM   #1
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... i am in love with my married boss!

Ok, so you have all heard this before but I have a thing for my married boss!

I know this is really lame but I have fantasies about being with my boss, while I am at work and at home. I think he fancies me too.. we have worked together for 18mths and up until about 6 mths ago there was a lot of flirting going on - both ways! I don't know what changed and now it worries me that I have made it obvious and he has backed off for the sake of his job or if I have offended him in some way.

He is 12 years older than me and we are both married with kids ( I am 30) In the early days he used to demand my attention above anyone elses, always calling me into his office and finding ways to make me laugh, then he would say "keep smiling" as I would leave his office. There has been many an occassion when I would catch him looking at my chest (that's just a typical man thing I know) but also when I wear knee high boots or high heels he checks out my legs. We were in meeting together one day and I noticed him looking longingly at my hair... lol I always had a school girl crush since day one, but now I am thinking about him all the time. I wonder if he still feels the same as I am sure he did before.

I have contemplated leaving and getting another job but I feel as though if I do that I would regret not seeing him everyday, or do something drastic like email him and spill my guts and end up with a harrassment charge or something.. lol

I think that my co-workers see the connection too and there has been some comments of late in regards to it, but not anything specific - yet!

I really have it bad and I need some help. I walk past his office just to smell his after shave..................... there has even been some moments where I have been at his desk discussing something and his foot has brushed up against mine and he didn't pull away and neither did I. I even make up things to go and talk to him about! For the last few weeks there has been some distance between us after I made a comment about a co-worker getting special treatment and I told him that I was going to leave. He wasn't the same with me for a few weeks and then the other day I told him that I was going to stay and he went back to his normal self again.... until my other half came into work and so I had to introduce them. He was really polite with my husband and they got along really well. But since then he hasn't spokent to me and it appears as though he avoids me when i go to walk past him in the hall way!! What's up with that ??
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Old 6th May 2010, 10:26 AM   #2
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What kind of help are you asking for? How to nip this in the bud, or how to start an affair?
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Old 6th May 2010, 10:45 AM   #3
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I think you're reading a lot more into this than he is.

He's backing off because you're in a relationship, and more importantly, HE'S MARRIED - !!

Now you need to either back of completely, and be mature, adult and responsible, or leave.
But contemplating starting an affair with him is foolish, reckless, senseless, destructive and completely and totally inappropriate.
having an affair with him is off the radar and not an option.
Cut it out, because it's not fun, and it's not clever.
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Old 6th May 2010, 10:57 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by TaraMaiden View Post
Cut it out, because it's not fun, and it's not clever.
And it is so, so common. Why do people aspire to be common as adults? I've never heard a child say "I want to be common when I grow up".
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Old 6th May 2010, 11:01 AM   #5
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He's your boss, you're married with kids, he's married, with kids. There's no point in pursuing this. It's a crush and you're attracted to him..leave it at that. Don't go telling him how you feel!!!

Focus on reconnecting with your husband, spending time with your kids and be together as a family. Don't let this crush thing ruin what you have in your life. Go read in the OM/OW section, see their pain and heartache, the rollercoaster ride of being the OW.. Also, check out the infidelity section so you can read about the pain a betrayed spouse goes through after they find out their partner has cheated on them. Are you willing to bust up and break up your family, turned your husband and kids lives upside down all for a stupid crush?? ON your married boss??? Come on. Realize how selfish that would be and how many innocent lives would be ruined if something DID happen between you and your married boss. Also, your reputation would be ruined too, the office gossip would be worse than what it is right now.

The choice is yours.

I say, quit your job and never email MMboss, cut him out of your life and find out why you're so close to throwing away your marriage and hurt your family.
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Old 6th May 2010, 5:57 PM   #6
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There's nothing more important than fulfilling a crush.

Definitely not a husband, a wife, two marriages and a whole stack of kids and careers.

Go for it!
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Old 6th May 2010, 10:30 PM   #7
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I've been down this road before and I gotta tell ya ... it ends badly.

If you don't have the self-control to keep this from progressing further, then find another job. You're going to end up hating yourself if you don't.

I did all kinds of bizarre things to keep a relationship going with my boss, and looking back, I'm wondering if I was mentally ill. One day he decided to end it, and about a week later he fired me ... for stealing. He couldn't even come up with a better excuse than that! That was one of the most humiliating days of my life, and I'd give anything to be able to undo all the stupid things I did that got me to that point.

Give it up, get over it, be your own best friend instead of your own worst enemy.
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Old 11th May 2010, 3:22 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by sexythang View Post
Ok, so you have all heard this before but I have a thing for my married boss!

I know this is really lame but I have fantasies about being with my boss, while I am at work and at home. I think he fancies me too.. we have worked together for 18mths and up until about 6 mths ago there was a lot of flirting going on - both ways! I don't know what changed and now it worries me that I have made it obvious and he has backed off for the sake of his job or if I have offended him in some way.

He is 12 years older than me and we are both married with kids ( I am 30) In the early days he used to demand my attention above anyone elses, always calling me into his office and finding ways to make me laugh, then he would say "keep smiling" as I would leave his office. There has been many an occassion when I would catch him looking at my chest (that's just a typical man thing I know) but also when I wear knee high boots or high heels he checks out my legs. We were in meeting together one day and I noticed him looking longingly at my hair... lol I always had a school girl crush since day one, but now I am thinking about him all the time. I wonder if he still feels the same as I am sure he did before.

I have contemplated leaving and getting another job but I feel as though if I do that I would regret not seeing him everyday, or do something drastic like email him and spill my guts and end up with a harrassment charge or something.. lol

I think that my co-workers see the connection too and there has been some comments of late in regards to it, but not anything specific - yet!

I really have it bad and I need some help. I walk past his office just to smell his after shave..................... there has even been some moments where I have been at his desk discussing something and his foot has brushed up against mine and he didn't pull away and neither did I. I even make up things to go and talk to him about! For the last few weeks there has been some distance between us after I made a comment about a co-worker getting special treatment and I told him that I was going to leave. He wasn't the same with me for a few weeks and then the other day I told him that I was going to stay and he went back to his normal self again.... until my other half came into work and so I had to introduce them. He was really polite with my husband and they got along really well. But since then he hasn't spokent to me and it appears as though he avoids me when i go to walk past him in the hall way!! What's up with that ??
What about your husband? Don't you love him? Tell your husband about your feelings so he can keep an eye on you.
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Old 23rd May 2010, 4:55 PM   #9
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Nothing good can come of this situation. I'm sure you know what you need to do. Even though it may be terribly difficult, keep your distance and keep your communications on a professional level, before you mess up your job, reputation and marriage.
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Old 23rd May 2010, 7:55 PM   #10
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OP,

I say "go for it!"

With your attitude, your marriage is doomed, whether you fool around with this guy or the next guy.

It might as well be this guy.

Enjoy.
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Old 24th May 2010, 8:24 AM   #11
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Never have understood why getting into something

a) with someone at the same co.

b) with someone married

First one might be good if you at least get a promotion out of this but in this case it is obvious he will not see you as long-term so, it will end sooner or later... even if it lasts for some time, you will be caught somewhere sometime. The result will be a disaster in both cases

The second, I think is wrong ethically. However, in this case if you wish to be a reserve player and ruin two families just for a little fun, theres nothing to stop you but you have to be brave enough to face the consequences of your own actions in the end and to deal with your feelings of guilt (I assume you won't have problems with the last one as you can consider such a relationship right)

First one I have done it, slept with a colleague who in the end got fired by the boss (I was better than her on a professional level) so boss made a choice. Worst, I found out that colleague of mine was seeing someone else in the meantime, her long term boyfriend (if you can call him that lol) I dumped her because I don't do that type of women

Second was another case who hid the fact that she was married. As soon as I found out after suspicion (after went out a couple of times and slept) I dumped her as well. These types always put me off of women.

My advice here is simple. Quit. Find someone who has no ties with anyone. There are millions of men out there. Why do this?
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Old 25th May 2010, 10:48 AM   #12
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So what then. You never learned you can't always have what you want? You are oh so in love with your boss... get over it and grow up?
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