dealing with a lame co-worker...

[tkgirl]

I work in a very small department and there's this one girl there that I basically cannot stand anymore... it's not that she does anything wrong but ok... she has like NO personality, unless you can call snotty little beoch a personality! she always seems like she's in a bad mood and harldy talks to me... or anyone really. I try to be nice to her, strike up a conversation or whatever... but either she doesn't say anything or just says one or two words with major attitude... usually she's too busy facebooking on her cell about stupid sh*t. She is a lot younger than me so maybe I forgot what it's like to be that age... but really, why the attitude? she acts like whatever is going on in her life is so important and doesn't even have time to try to connect with other people. She needs to get over herself... I feel like one day I'm going to go off on her and tell her she needs to pull that huge stick out of her @$$... and that would NOT be good.

any advice would be so appreciated!

[gypsy_nicky]

is she new? --it may be she's shy or she's a bitch.

[TaraMaiden]

Something's puzzling.

You're coming across as really angry and frustrated, but....

 

Why even care?

Leave her alone, ignore her and don't have anything to do with her other than as a professional workplace necessity.

 

Leave her be, and just focus on yourself.

If she's not someone you even like, then why let her bother you?

 

You come across as if the problem's yours, not hers....

[tkgirl]

is she new? --it may be she's shy or she's a bitch.

 

no she's been there a couple years.. and I just started there last fall. I think it's that she's just a bitch...

 

Something's puzzling.

You're coming across as really angry and frustrated, but....

 

Why even care?

Leave her alone, ignore her and don't have anything to do with her other than as a professional workplace necessity.

 

Leave her be, and just focus on yourself.

If she's not someone you even like, then why let her bother you?

 

You come across as if the problem's yours, not hers....

 

I do try to just ignore her but it's hard when there is usually only three of us there and it's a very small department.

 

I'm trying to figure out why it bothers me so much that she chooses to be miserable... I guess I always try to be a positive person and her energy (or lack of!) sometimes brings me down... I'm sensitive like that

 

I will try harder to just focus on other things... and I'll keep on biting my tongue when I really want to just tell her to get over herself!

[flc]

It's work not social if she is doing her job and not preventing you from doing your job just ignore her. I would assume if her personality is a problem others will notice and those she reports to will have a discussion with her.

[TaraMaiden]

I'm trying to figure out why it bothers me so much that she chooses to be miserable... I guess I always try to be a positive person and her energy (or lack of!) sometimes brings me down... I'm sensitive like that

Remember that famous quotation of Eleanor Roosevelt's?

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

I'm not suggesting for a moment that this is how she makes you feel. But if she's getting to you - it's because you're giving her the permission to do so.

if she's bothering you, then it's because you feel her attitude should be bothering you.

Not everybody can be like you.

or like me, because I get you. I'm bubbly, enthusiastic, good-humoured, and energetic. Folks is always asking me where I get my energy from. I always answer "Well, I could tell you - but then I'd have to kill you!"

(Fortunately, they laugh too....!)

But some people just aren't like we are.

Some people have got pissedoffedness off to a fine art.

Well good for them. They have my share, and you know what? They can keep it.

Whatever floats their boat. It don't float mine, but it's a big enough river for both of us....

 

I will try harder to just focus on other things... and I'll keep on biting my tongue when I really want to just tell her to get over herself!

 

Don't try harder. Trying harder takes effort.

What you actually need to do, is to relax.

You need to not worry so much.

think of it this way. As she is quite young, is it likely she will impact on your life for a long time? Do you see her sticking this job for a long time? is this her chosen career?

Do you think this will be so earth-shatteringly important to grab your attention in a year's time?

Then why give it your attention, now?

 

Find a distraction. Even if it's bringing a small bunch of flowers into work with you and putting it on your desk, or giving everyone a chocolate on Monday mornings.

 

It's amazing what a little gesture like that does to brighten people's days.

And makes your own time worth living.

[dennisflorida]

yeah, i would just ignore her. If she's facebooking on company

time and not pulling her weight at work, THAT would annoy me.

 

You don't have to try and be her friend. If she is bitchy, why would

you even try and be nice to her and strike up a convo?

[tkgirl]

thanks everyone! i'm going to do my best to not let her negativity get to me. She's been in this on again off again long distance relationship.. a month ago she was planning to move across country to be with him and well, now they are off again so who knows... maybe next week they will be back on again and she'll be planning her move again... I just wish she would do it already!

[jean-luc sisko]

i don't see the issue. everybody is different.

 

I think the world would be a happier place if people accepted others as they are.

[Tayla]

I sense from the message and bits of information relayed that she is not really a team player and prefers to lack social etiquette. Its her loss really. As for her tasks at work, has it been discussed openly with her or with the manager? Most places hire people to work, not to be text messaging or using company time for personal endeavors.

 

Yes it is a mutual problem anytime two or more folks cannot see eye to eye. The way to solve it is confront the matter with a non bias person present.

[cuppa]

i don't see the issue. everybody is different.

 

I think the world would be a happier place if people accepted others as they are.

 

agree with this. I don't think work is a place to make friends. As long as she does her job, I don't see why she's getting into you? Not everyone can be cheerful or friendly, everyone is different.

[BubbleFreak]

There could be many reasons she doesn't socialise with you but best thing is don't worry about her because it's beyond your control, just be the happy person you are and let her be who she wants to be.

 

I remember one time at work I was super welcoming to a newbie, then at school she saw me and came over to chat. But at the time I had chocolate in my mouth (and all over my teeth) and so I didn't talk and I probably came across as a snob.

 

You said she has some sort of relationship issues? Could be why she can't pretend to be happy.

[Cinnamon2000]

I work in a very small department and there's this one girl there that I basically cannot stand anymore... it's not that she does anything wrong but ok... she has like NO personality, unless you can call snotty little beoch a personality! she always seems like she's in a bad mood and harldy talks to me... or anyone really. I try to be nice to her, strike up a conversation or whatever... but either she doesn't say anything or just says one or two words with major attitude... usually she's too busy facebooking on her cell about stupid sh*t. She is a lot younger than me so maybe I forgot what it's like to be that age... but really, why the attitude? she acts like whatever is going on in her life is so important and doesn't even have time to try to connect with other people. She needs to get over herself... I feel like one day I'm going to go off on her and tell her she needs to pull that huge stick out of her @$$... and that would NOT be good.

any advice would be so appreciated!

 

Just avoid her as much as you can.