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mustangsally

So, I work for an organization where everyone works remotely. I "know" the people through e-mail and chat forums. We've talked to one another for about a year now and I do feel like I "know" some of these people.

 

I've been trying to raise money to go on a service trip with Habitat and another with an American organization to help a specific group in Ukraine. You can't legally raise money for airfare under the guise of a charity, so I said if you want to help toward airfare, you can help by donating miles or sending me money directly. Otherwise, you'll have to go to the Habitat page. All of the information was there, easily verifiable. I even gave them a number to call to verify I was a real person and said I would try to pay as much as possible out of pocket, but it wasn't possible to pay everything.

 

Many, many people were very supportive. But others were VERY NOT supportive, to the point of accusing me of phishing, asking to be sent on a vacation and selfishly asking for money. They also made false claims that I had back rent, was trying to support a sick cat and all of this other stuff and questioned why I even would go.

 

I even had one woman tell me she was on food stamps, so it's rude to ask for money when you're doing well for yourself (i.e. I went through grad school and am thinking about getting a PhD and I'm doing well for myself despite a lot of limitations).

 

The thing is, I never badgered or pestered anyone for money other than the single solicitation. I never told anyone they were rude or selfish or "bad" for not getting involved. They can do what they want, who cares? If they want to help, great! If not, no harm.

 

After all of these claims were made about me, some people then told me I was selfish for talking about myself all the time (defending myself).

 

One guy then stepped in and said he would offer to pay off Habitat if I signed a legal affidavit saying I wouldn't go on the trip so I could prove my character. Either I cared about these people and wanted to help them (by having someone else give Habitat $2000) or I was shady and using the money for some other purpose. When I said I wouldn't take the bribe, I was called a sham and a joke and totally selfish.

 

While my inbox has been flooded with apologies from co-workers on behalf of others and several people have been booted from the list for "bad" behavior.

 

However, now I can't help but feel guilty. I wonder if I should even go on the trip(s) now. I am waiting to see on a lucrative business deal and if it goes through, I'm definitely going....but now I just feel really guilty and have been questioning my own character. I never wanted to go on this trip to scam people out of money, to make people feel bad and I don't feel special for wanting to go. Lots of people want to go on service trips and do it. It doesn't make me better than anyone else.

 

Ugh, sorry...

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