RC Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 I am going to try to write this remaining as calm as I can. I work with a VERY flirtatious (sp?) 25 year old married woman..... and with a 35 year old single guy..... they used to flirt around me, no big deal, as he 'flirts' with every woman, he doesn't say anything inappropriate, just flirtatious behavior---harmless..... well, this guy and this girl have taken it WAYYYY beyond flirting....... I'll give you some examples of the things that have been said over the past 2 months: 1) She walked in the room, sporting her new haircolor, and he said "blond or not, your still hot" 2) The other day he was drilling on a desk, and she walked by and he said "hey, can I drill you" and she said "you know you can any time baby" 3) just this morning we were walking by his office and evidently she had given him something to eat and she said "so did you eat it or did the mice get it?" and he said "nah, i got it, and anytime you have an extra piece to give away, give it to me" she laughed and said "i'll make sure you get a 'piece' anytime you want one" --- implying sex, obviously....... My question is--how do i get the point across that this is totally unappropriate behavior/comments, especially to a married a woman, and how do i get her to see, what she is saying back to him is totally unappropriate for her to say being married....... Might I also add, her husband HATES this guy.... How do i tell them, this is totally inappropriate talk for a professional working environment???? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 YOU ASK: "how do i get the point across that this is totally unappropriate behavior/comments, especially to a married a woman, and how do i get her to see, what she is saying back to him is totally unappropriate for her to say being married......." You just come out and tell them. Let them know that not only is it inappropriate for the workplace to flirt in this manner but it's embarassing to you personally. Ask them to please conduct themselves this way outdoors, out of earshot of you and other people. Advise them that you are telling them personally in lieu of going to management. For management to let this kind of thing go on would be to put themselves in jeopardy of a real big lawsuit if one or the other of these individuals gets pissed one day. The company would not want this sort of thing going on under its roof. If it doesn't stop, by all means report this to management and let them know it's gotten to the point of interfering with work getting done. That'll stop it right there. Don't worry about their response to you. The trash seems to be getting out of hand...and unless it stops they'll soon be screwing on the desks during afternoon break. Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 I'm going to take the other side of things and say this is none of your business. While it does seem like its affecting your work, I'm not sure its considered sexual harrassment unless its directed towards you. Have to look into that. I mean obviously you can't walk around the office saying you wanna f every woman in sight, but their playful chatter is between them. And while innuendos are there, it doesn't sound like there is really anything there making the workplace uncomfortable. In fact I bet you're the only one who's bothered by it. Seems like neither of them are offended with it. I'm not saying its right, but I am saying its none of your business. Who cares if her husband hates that guy, whats it to you? To me it sounds like you're nosey and perhaps jealous of his attention towards her. Link to post Share on other sites
Android808 Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Well, there is such a thing as Too Much. And I've seen, and have even done, as described above. (ahhhh the good ol days) Additionally, sexual harassment in the workplace does not have to be directed at the individual to be considered harassment. Lewd and lacivious conduct or banter between co-workers within earshot of others is definately grounds for termination or a legal case against a company. It is the businesses responsibility to have a work environment free of any disruptive or controversial subject matters that make others uncomfortable. Period. Companies have been sued by single women a few cubicles over that was offended by some of the routine jokes around the office. I say what a spoil sport, but hey, it's the law, you fight it. I have to keep myself in check everyday, I'm flirtatious with a sense of humor, I joke about everything, and I offend people. ----------------------------------------- 186,000 miles an hour, it's not just a good idea, it's the law! Link to post Share on other sites
Author RC Posted June 30, 2003 Author Share Posted June 30, 2003 First of all, I am not jealous of his attention towards her..... The woman I am speaking about, is a very good friend of mine, this is how I know her husband hates this guy..... I am very very good friends with her 'outside' this work environment. She is the type of girl though that 'requires' a mans attention..... She has actually made comments like when we are out for lunch "that guy must be gay" and i asked her "how do you know that" and her answer was "becasue he didn't check me out"....... these comments just make me roll my eyes....... and it's not just me, there's another lady here at work that sees the same things I do..... she feels the same way I do.... I just don't wanna hear "can i drill you"........ that's not appropriate for work..... Of course neither of them are offended by it.... but those that have to 'listen' to it are..... just today, they were talking in his office about her 'tan' and he asked her if she had 'tan lines' and she said of course not... he asked her to prove it, she giggled and said 'later baby, but not here'......... they are NOT quiet about it, they don't seem to care who hears..... but there was a lady from another department coming down the hall the same time i was, and as she passed me, she said "good lord-they need a room"........... this is just out of hand, I don't want to ruin our friendship over this, but frankly, i'm sick to death of it.... Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Posted June 30, 2003 Board of Directors Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by RC She is the type of girl though that 'requires' a mans attention..... She has actually made comments like when we are out for lunch "that guy must be gay" and i asked her "how do you know that" and her answer was "becasue he didn't check me out"....... Reminds me of one particular scene in the film American Beauty: Angela: What a freak! And why does he dress like a bible salesman? Jane: He's just so confident, it can't be real. Angela: I don't believe him. I mean, he didn't even like, look at me once! Link to post Share on other sites
dazed_and_confused Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 "hey, can I drill you" and she said "you know you can any time baby" On a funny note: I'll have to remember that one! Link to post Share on other sites
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