OpenBook Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Well, this may be more of a social intelligence thing, more than ethical... I've had a profile on a popular professional networking site for awhile now. And I've always been extremely picky about who is linked to it. I've extended and accepted invitations to connect to ONLY people whom I personally know AND like. So if a former co-worker invites me to connect, but I remember how they made me feel bad in the past - with either social slights or they've burned me on a project - I do not connect to them. (I quietly and sneakily archive their invitation instead... hoping they'll forget they sent me the invite! I mean, they clearly didn't think too much of me before, so why would I be important to them now?) I got several of these invites when I first put my profile up. And I thought that would be the end of it, that it would peter-out after awhile. (I mean, I really don't know all that many people!) But it keeps happening. People whom I thought I would never hear from again, keep popping up out of the woodwork, inviting me to connect. And I just don't feel comfortable connecting to them! Also, I'm getting invites from people I've never met or heard of, but they know someone that I know - that's how they came across my profile. I feel equally squeamish about connecting to these people. I know nothing about them. And I feel a responsibility to the people I AM connected to, to not vicariously expose them to connections whom I have no idea what their motivation is to network with me. And I've put the shoe on the other foot about this, too. There are a couple invites I've extended to people whom I know and like and they have not responded. And that doesn't bother me at all. I understand completely how they feel!! and I think they have every right to refrain from connecting with me. Is anyone else out there experiencing this with their online profiles? How do YOU handle your networking invites? Am I not being generous enough of heart about this, or is it the smart way to go to be this picky about who I connect to professionally online? Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Well, this may be more of a social intelligence thing, more than ethical... I've had a profile on a popular professional networking site for awhile now. And I've always been extremely picky about who is linked to it. I've extended and accepted invitations to connect to ONLY people whom I personally know AND like. So if a former co-worker invites me to connect, but I remember how they made me feel bad in the past - with either social slights or they've burned me on a project - I do not connect to them. (I quietly and sneakily archive their invitation instead... hoping they'll forget they sent me the invite! I mean, they clearly didn't think too much of me before, so why would I be important to them now?) I got several of these invites when I first put my profile up. And I thought that would be the end of it, that it would peter-out after awhile. (I mean, I really don't know all that many people!) But it keeps happening. People whom I thought I would never hear from again, keep popping up out of the woodwork, inviting me to connect. And I just don't feel comfortable connecting to them! Also, I'm getting invites from people I've never met or heard of, but they know someone that I know - that's how they came across my profile. I feel equally squeamish about connecting to these people. I know nothing about them. And I feel a responsibility to the people I AM connected to, to not vicariously expose them to connections whom I have no idea what their motivation is to network with me. And I've put the shoe on the other foot about this, too. There are a couple invites I've extended to people whom I know and like and they have not responded. And that doesn't bother me at all. I understand completely how they feel!! and I think they have every right to refrain from connecting with me. Is anyone else out there experiencing this with their online profiles? How do YOU handle your networking invites? Am I not being generous enough of heart about this, or is it the smart way to go to be this picky about who I connect to professionally online? If you feel uncomfortable linking them to your network, don't. I've generally accepted invitations, but I've ignored one or two of them for various reasons. I've also cut one or two people out of the network when I thought they were being idiotic -- people I was not too enthusiastic about anyway, to tell the truth. Also, you might get to the point where you control what people post to your page. I'm getting to that point with FB. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Like any other "network" site, it ignites this annoying human need to amass as many "connections" as possible to give them a perceived higher self-worth. People have a hair=trigger when it comes to connecting because a higher number of friends equates to being super and popular. If it's not for you, just ignore it. I know on facebook I have a list of about 25 ignored invites. Why connect with someone you know you will never speak to? Link to post Share on other sites
gsly Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 easy answer..if you dont want to add them then dont.. and if they keep trying to add you, block them Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Im guessing you're talking about LiknedIn. I too am conscious of who I allow into my circle as I often get competitor business looking to poach my contacts through this site. I good way to broaden your scope without giving out much personal information is to join groups and get involved that way. Link to post Share on other sites
LynnM28 Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Lol...only because I sometimes enjoy the "Devil's Advocate" role...I have a couple social networking profiles, one that I have had for awhile and I love the interactions on...I started out being very restrictive on accepting "connections" but eventually loosened up, mostly because there were so many and I was honestly curious as to why they even wanted to connect...well, two of these people that I had really not had much in common with previously turned out to be people that have had a huge impact...one has become and incredible friend and another a fantastic business connection...and if I had kept them blocked neither would have happened...so I guess my point is you just never know! Obviously you have to do what you are comfortable with, opening ourselves up to new potential relationships is an uncertain, and scary, but potentially rewarding experience... Link to post Share on other sites
Author OpenBook Posted March 6, 2010 Author Share Posted March 6, 2010 Sigh. I would willingly take that risk on a social networking site. But we're talking about my bread-and-butter here. No, I'm going to go with the majority here. Sorry Lynn. I'm just going to trust my instincts on this one and not feel guilty about it one more minute. Link to post Share on other sites
Blackfrost Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 Im guessing you're talking about LiknedIn. I too am conscious of who I allow into my circle as I often get competitor business looking to poach my contacts through this site. I good way to broaden your scope without giving out much personal information is to join groups and get involved that way. Just FYI: You can set your linked-in account to not let your connections see any of your other connections. That way, anyone who connects with you, cannot poach people from your database Link to post Share on other sites
LynnM28 Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 :-) No problem, you have to do what you are comfortable with! Link to post Share on other sites
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