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I have been off work for a few weeks due to medical problems due to stress form work. My doctor says that I need to look for another job. My story is (sorry, may be very long) this:

 

I work closely with a particular person who usually does not abuse me. He is, unfortunately very abusive to my co-workers. He yells at them, belittles them, takes about them behind their backs (calling them names) and goes as far as trying to pit one against another. My boss is the blunt of his rage, but she will not do anything about it and just lets him get away with it. Let me just say now that I don't want to say what kind of business.

 

A few months ago I was the blunt of his abuse. He verbally belittled me and make statements to my coworker within my earshot and in front of my clients. A few days later we talked and resolved our difference, I thought.

 

Than it happened again in front of another client. I turned and told him that the job was stressful enough without him adding to the stress but he would not stop. He then went to my boss and another boss to complain about me. He didn't stop there, he started cornering my co-workers to bad mouth me. I had enough and I was advised by another department boss that I needed to speak with the coporate #2 big boss, so I went to speak to him with another co-worker who was also abused by him. We were told by #2 big boss that he was spoken to about this before and was surprised that he is doing this again and that he will speak with him.

 

Next two week was awful for me. Although he treated my co-workers well, he would ignore me when I am trying to assist him. He would call form someone else to help him, even when I was next to him. He would not give me report about clients when I was presented with them. I spoke to my direct boss about this and she stated she will speak with her our director, which I doubt very much..

 

Last week my co-worker and I was told by our boss that her boss wanted to speak to both of us saying it was about something that happened the day before. When we got to her office, we told that this man (the abuser) is going to be in the meeting with us. This literally freaked me out. I didn't have the time to mentally prepare myself for this meeting and it didin't go too well.

 

After the weekend, I went to my director to and stated that I wasn't feeling well and that I wanted to speak with her. I went home, no phone call. I called the next day, no call back.

 

I know that I have been blackballed by this company. My question is, do I have any legal recorse? I'm so sorry this is so long. :(

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If you have documented abuse and/or a workplace toxic to your productivity and health, you may have a grievance and/or basis for legal action. A labor lawyer is a good place to start.

 

I do know a couple of business colleagues who have defended toxic workplace lawsuits and the key on either side is clear and documented evidence for or against.

 

If the company will not recognize and/or deal with your complaints, then legal or regulatory action is one alternative. Look at all scenarios before making a decision.

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Workplace bullying has been happening for eons.........The good news is

that it's finally being recognized as a serious problem. According to what I've been reading, there is anti-bullying legislation being considered in many places.......

 

A recurring theme I've read about is to document, document, document.

And then document some more. If you ever receive a toxic email, or memo,add it to the folder.When you present your case, try as hard as you can to be calm and rational (check your emotions at the door). A very common counter-attack used by bullies is to paint their target as overreactive and oversensitive.........so try real hard not to give them ammunition to use against you.

 

I'm going to attach a link which may be very helpful to you.

 

Good luck, and chin up ! http://www.kickbully.com/welcome.html

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If you have documented abuse and/or a workplace toxic to your productivity and health, you may have a grievance and/or basis for legal action. A labor lawyer is a good place to start.

 

I do know a couple of business colleagues who have defended toxic workplace lawsuits and the key on either side is clear and documented evidence for or against.

 

If the company will not recognize and/or deal with your complaints, then legal or regulatory action is one alternative. Look at all scenarios before making a decision.

 

 

Thank you so much for a fast reply. I am distraught and it has definitely affected my health as well as mentally. My doctor wanted me to take a few days off two weeks ago but I was just way to bull headed to and last week she was adament that I stay home for a few weeks. She put me on asthma medication and sleeping medication/tranquilizer. My blood pressure is high. I do have moment where I feel very low. This so unlike me and my husband is very worried.

 

It didn't help the situation when I did a quick legal advice thing though the web (for $38.00) and the so called labor lawyer stated that there is no law against being rude.

 

I have started documenting what has happened to me and I also know another co-worker who has been keeping a running journal.

 

It really makes me upset that this man has been doing this for so long and when I try to put a stop to it, I get treated badly.

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QUOTE=freestyle;2550605]Workplace bullying has been happening for eons.........The good news is

that it's finally being recognized as a serious problem. According to what I've been reading, there is anti-bullying legislation being considered in many places.......

 

A recurring theme I've read about is to document, document, document.

And then document some more. If you ever receive a toxic email, or memo,add it to the folder.When you present your case, try as hard as you can to be calm and rational (check your emotions at the door). A very common counter-attack used by bullies is to paint their target as overreactive and oversensitive.........so try real hard not to give them ammunition to use against you.

 

I'm going to attach a link which may be very helpful to you.

 

Good luck, and chin up ! http://www.kickbully.com/welcome.html

 

Thank you! I will read the attachment.

 

Yes, I did loose it at the so called meeting. They used a bogus problem that I didn't do to get me into the room and then told me the bully was going to be there. I felt like a animal trapped in a corner. First thing he said was, "MERRY CHRISTMAS"....needless to say, that phrase will never be the same to me again! :confused:

 

I am going to make every effort to keep my emotion at check. That is a very good advise. Thank you.

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OK, you made a start. You have a medical doctor involved. That's good. Now, do some more research on your own about toxic workplace and then get a referral in real life to a labor lawyer you can talk to face-to-face. Initial consultations, if the lawyer is not retained, are generally free. You will likely be surprised how much information you'll get in a consultation. Lawyers make their living cooking up legal scenarios and generally have quick minds, so a lot can happen in an hour or 90 minutes. Pay attention and take notes.

 

Also, get input from your H about possible courses of action, even leaving the company and work life for a hiatus. Make it a team effort. Your health is so important to your longevity and anything which compromises it bears scrutiny. Best wishes :)

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Here's a mantra which may be helpful to you when others are intentionally

trying to ruffle your feathers............you don't have to say it out loud, just say it to yourself:

 

The wind blows all around the rock. The rock doesn't care.

 

Try to imagine yourself as the rock.

 

I'm so sorry this situation has gotten to the level of affecting your health.

Don't feel bad about that, it's actually very common. The cumulative stress from being bullied can weaken the immune system, as your mind gets stuck in a "siege mentality"....(always bracing yourself for the next attack).

 

While you can't control the bully's behavior, you can work on ways to control your reaction to it. I'm not saying don't be angry, because your anger is completely justified. If you can, try to switch your attitude from

feeling like a victim, to feeling righteous indignation. Do you see the difference? The former attitude weakens you, while the latter attitude empowers you.

 

There are several other links attached to one in my previous post.I'd like to recommend that you read up as much as possible, there's a lot of valuable insights there......................

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OP, there's a rule of thumb I use in business, and it is, if a person or entity seeks to inhibit or destroy my ability to make a living in our free society, I defend that right and privilege to the full extent of my abilities and the law. A person being rude is one thing, and I agree completely about the 'rock' (accepting rudeness and reacting appropriately), but affecting your professional reputation and/or ability to make a living is quite something else. We teach people how to treat us. A key part of being respectable is knowing that, within that respect, there are some who will hate. That's OK. :)

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I am so sorry you have to go through this...I finally had to get out of the workplace entirely, thank God I had time with one Co and could retire.

 

With my experience, the workplace is not a safe place anymore...at least in my field...it wasn't as bad with the Co that I started with, but when they got bought out things changed and people started scrambling for their jobs...cut throats, back stabbers, you name it.

 

I was so stupid because it didn't need to be that way....I could understand with the salaried people, but I was with a union and you were only let go by seniority...although still the suck ups and bullies were so ever present.

 

I would persue this situation further if I were you....it sounds like a joke and totally unprofessional....a hostile work environment.

 

I would still file a complaint and make it a workers comp deal, if that is possible....it almost sounds like it could be a sexual harrassment issue.

 

I can't even begin to tell you all of the garbage that went on with me in the workplace....after several years of abuse from different people and departments, I finally hit my limit when I was not doing well (I have Graves Disease, hyperthyroidism) and a co-worker demanded that I do something unsafe....in my field that is a big no no....he knew I was real sick also because I communicated it ....I took it to HR (the first time ever...and I have so many stories like this one) and they blew it off....they all covered their tracks.

 

Before this incident, I worked for another Co for a brief period and I communicated some of the minor things that went on at my other Co and they could not believe it saying that that would not be allowed here...well I got harrassed again and they took care of it and rarely had problems after that at that Co.

 

Don't put up with it like I did, and yes the bullies are everywhere, but if you send out a message from the beginning that you will not take it and follow through, your troubles will decrease considerably....

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I have worked in more toxic work places of which some became physical abuse.

 

The problem isn't the abuser, it's you. You are playing the victim and running for help over a abuse you can resolve.

 

You want it to stop you can. not by running to others, but by standing up for yourself.

 

A bully can sense fear and they will use your fear to hurt you. Your fear is the problem here and it makes you a victim.

 

The solution is to kill the fear and embrace your anger. The second the bully no fear but anger he will change his behavior out of his own fear of the unknown anger of yours.

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Oh P.S. ...I just got out of a relationship with a man that was a master manipulator....he reads people very well, looking for their weaknesses and then provokes them....

 

This guy used to get people fired all of the time by pushing their buttons, causing them to react....what a jerk...these were good jobs too w/benies and very good pay...

 

We reap what we sow....I would not want to be some of these people....

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I have worked in more toxic work places of which some became physical abuse.

 

The problem isn't the abuser, it's you. You are playing the victim and running for help over a abuse you can resolve.

 

You want it to stop you can. not by running to others, but by standing up for yourself.

 

A bully can sense fear and they will use your fear to hurt you. Your fear is the problem here and it makes you a victim.

 

The solution is to kill the fear and embrace your anger. The second the bully no fear but anger he will change his behavior out of his own fear of the unknown anger of yours.

 

I would be careful with anger as that can be turned around....being confident and finding the right angle to difuse the bully or bullies. This and other companies need to start taking resposibility as this situation and others will get worse and have...heard of going "postal"....

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OK, you made a start. You have a medical doctor involved. That's good. Now, do some more research on your own about toxic workplace and then get a referral in real life to a labor lawyer you can talk to face-to-face. Initial consultations, if the lawyer is not retained, are generally free. You will likely be surprised how much information you'll get in a consultation. Lawyers make their living cooking up legal scenarios and generally have quick minds, so a lot can happen in an hour or 90 minutes. Pay attention and take notes.

 

Also, get input from your H about possible courses of action, even leaving the company and work life for a hiatus. Make it a team effort. Your health is so important to your longevity and anything which compromises it bears scrutiny. Best wishes :)

 

Thank you again. I will look and see if I can speak with a athorney. My husband has been more than patient and understanding throughout this ordeal. He has also suggested that I speak with a lawyer, but somehow I physically/mentally just the though of it just taxes me. But I will make an arrangement to speak to one.

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Here's a mantra which may be helpful to you when others are intentionally

trying to ruffle your feathers............you don't have to say it out loud, just say it to yourself:

 

The wind blows all around the rock. The rock doesn't care.

 

Try to imagine yourself as the rock.

 

I'm so sorry this situation has gotten to the level of affecting your health.

Don't feel bad about that, it's actually very common. The cumulative stress from being bullied can weaken the immune system, as your mind gets stuck in a "siege mentality"....(always bracing yourself for the next attack).

 

While you can't control the bully's behavior, you can work on ways to control your reaction to it. I'm not saying don't be angry, because your anger is completely justified. If you can, try to switch your attitude from

feeling like a victim, to feeling righteous indignation. Do you see the difference? The former attitude weakens you, while the latter attitude empowers you.

 

There are several other links attached to one in my previous post.I'd like to recommend that you read up as much as possible, there's a lot of valuable insights there......................

 

That is a wonderful quote. I will memorize it. I admit, I am one of those people others come to with work problems and I feel the need to fix it. No one was doing anything about this bully and when he pushed my button and went behind my back, I wasn't going to let him get away with it. Now I regret that I even went to administration and complained. Just can't believe that I would be getting retalliation from him and adm.

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Just can't believe that I would be getting retaliation from him and adm.

 

In my line of business, it's called the good ole boys network. Competence doesn't matter; work ethic doesn't matter. If you're in, you're in, if not, not. Also, if the bully is a bottom line asset to the company, they will balance the costs of retaining the bully versus the loss of other employees and/or the threats of lawsuits. If/when the balance tips, absent the value of dirt the bully might have on the business owner/manager (this is political clout), the company will get rid of the bully. It's different in different industries, but generally how it works in my predominantly blue collar profession.

 

You and your husband can seek out and interview a lawyer together, if the process is uncomfortable for you. Lawyers are just regular people who deal with aspects of the law. They are expensive but are human just like you and me. Never forget that. The bully and your administrator are human too. No better or worse.

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I have worked in more toxic work places of which some became physical abuse.

 

The problem isn't the abuser, it's you. You are playing the victim and running for help over a abuse you can resolve.

 

You want it to stop you can. not by running to others, but by standing up for yourself.

 

A bully can sense fear and they will use your fear to hurt you. Your fear is the problem here and it makes you a victim.

 

The solution is to kill the fear and embrace your anger. The second the bully no fear but anger he will change his behavior out of his own fear of the unknown anger of yours.

 

Right now, yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. But I have gone to the bully the first time he did it had we had a long discussion about his bad behavior, he didn't even want to speak with me at first, but I cornered him and he had to speak to me. I though the air was cleared, but obviously it wasn't. More likely, he was holding a grudge, I can't speak for him, only my experience with him.

 

I went to the assistant CEO about the situation because my director was on vacation. He knows abou the problem. He stated that they had a talk with him before about his bad behavior. He even stated that maybe it's a 'cultural' thing because the bully mostly goes after females.

And I am angry at the whole situation, I am angry at the bully, and I am angry at administration that they are not even calling and speaking with me. And I am angry that this bully would blatantly ignore me when we are recussitating a patient and I am at the bedside asking him what instrument he wants me to pass. I am angry that he blantantly will not take my help when a patient's life is at stake and call out for another nurse who is busy with her own patient... You bet I am angry....

 

You say that I am running to others, yes, I need some advise here. You say that I can resolve this, how...you did not give me a solution. I believe I stood up to him from the beginning and I went to the people (adm) to help to resolve the problem, and they decided to become my problem.

 

I don't mean to be ugly here, that is not my intent.

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I am distraught and it has definitely affected my health as well as mentally. My doctor wanted me to take a few days off two weeks ago but I was just way to bull headed to and last week she was adament that I stay home for a few weeks. She put me on asthma medication and sleeping medication/tranquilizer. My blood pressure is high. I do have moment where I feel very low. This so unlike me and my husband is very worried.

 

It didn't help the situation when I did a quick legal advice thing though the web (for $38.00) and the so called labor lawyer stated that there is no law against being rude.

 

I have started documenting what has happened to me and I also know another co-worker who has been keeping a running journal.

 

It really makes me upset that this man has been doing this for so long and when I try to put a stop to it, I get treated badly.

 

There's only so much that you as an individual can do in an effort to address this man's behaviour. By informally raising the matter with the company you have taken the first step. If you want some definitive action by the company, you will probably need to raise a grievance about this man's behaviour by following the company's internal procedures.

 

Avoiding contacting you might well be the result of advice they've had from HR or their lawyers, so I wouldn't take their failure to contact you to heart. When someone's off sick, it's not generally a good plan for an employer to get in touch with them - unless they've been off sick for long enough time that internal procedures for dealing with an employee's long term sickness start to kick in.

 

Having an encyclopaedic knowledge of what various people, psychologists and organisations say about bullying and toxic workplaces won't necessarily put you in stronger place, litigation wise, than you'd be without it. It might also be counterproductive to your health if it leads to you spending vast amounts of time ruminating on the issue of workplace bullying and raising your anxiety levels as a result. Bear in mind that a lot of people who set up anti-bullying websites are struggling with their own issues about having been bullied at work.

 

In looking to raise awareness about the issue they may inadvertently also raise stress and anger levels in those who read the sites and relate to their content. Especially once they get into the realms of the psychological make-up of the bully - as a lot of them do. That's when the reader is seduced into the victim/persecutor/rescuer triangle, rather than from the more detached position you need to inhabit in order to handle a difficult person or situation in an effective and convincing manner.

 

So rather than ruminating in the way that some of the anti-bullying websites encourage (popular questions seeming to be "is my boss a psychopath/narcissist? Why do these people get placed in positions of power? Am I being picked on because of my many wonderful qualities that are a threat to the psychopath/narcissist? etc") it's probably most helpful to focus on three straightforward questions.

 

1. How is this man's behaviour affecting me?

2. What can I do to limit the impact of his behaviour on me?

3. Is the employer able/willing to address the situation so that I can return to the workplace without my health being adversely affected? (possibly a question that will only be answered definitely once you raise a formal grievance which demands a response by the employer)

4. If the employer isn't able or willing, what should my next step be? (best answered by whichever lawyer you consult).

 

If you do go to see a lawyer, which is a good plan if you're considering leaving the job because of this guy, the lawyer will love you for keeping the presenting problem simple rather than giving way to the temptation to vent. "My boss behaves abusively towards me and others in the workplace. My health has deteriorated as a result of having to deal with him. I'm currently off sick, and want to know what my next move should be."

 

The lawyer can then draw out the further details they need from you, and will no doubt want to examine your employment contract and a copy of the company's internal disciplinary and grievance procedures - so take both along with you.

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I would be careful with anger as that can be turned around....being confident and finding the right angle to difuse the bully or bullies. This and other companies need to start taking resposibility as this situation and others will get worse and have...heard of going "postal"....

 

I am angry but have turned inward and affecting my health. I woke up a few days ago feeling anxious and my life has ended. I am usually a very happy go lucky person and getting along with most of my co-workers. Never have I waken feeling like I want to end my life because of this. This really scared me.

 

I am going to see my MD again this Tuesday. She stated last week that she going to put me on leave from my current job. She also knows the bully.

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TwinkletOes26

WHitecaps im so sorry this is happening to you. I would suggest getting your brothers,brother in laws,or some other unknown BIG MALE relative to follow this guy to his fav bar wait until he is drunk and pick a fight. Resulting in him getting the SHAT beat out of him.....BUT i know this is not the correct way to handle things with that said.......

 

Document every incident and get a good lawyer you have a case on your hands. You have complained about being HARASSED at work and your boss does nothing. Sue the SHAT out of them...maybe even sue the guy individually for mental anguish. Hit this jerk where it hurts HIS POCKETS.

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There's only so much that you as an individual can do in an effort to address this man's behaviour. By informally raising the matter with the company you have taken the first step. If you want some definitive action by the company, you will probably need to raise a grievance about this man's behaviour by following the company's internal procedures.

 

Avoiding contacting you might well be the result of advice they've had from HR or their lawyers, so I wouldn't take their failure to contact you to heart. When someone's off sick, it's not generally a good plan for an employer to get in touch with them - unless they've been off sick for long enough time that internal procedures for dealing with an employee's long term sickness start to kick in.

 

Having an encyclopaedic knowledge of what various people, psychologists and organisations say about bullying and toxic workplaces won't necessarily put you in stronger place, litigation wise, than you'd be without it. It might also be counterproductive to your health if it leads to you spending vast amounts of time ruminating on the issue of workplace bullying and raising your anxiety levels as a result. Bear in mind that a lot of people who set up anti-bullying websites are struggling with their own issues about having been bullied at work.

 

In looking to raise awareness about the issue they may inadvertently also raise stress and anger levels in those who read the sites and relate to their content. Especially once they get into the realms of the psychological make-up of the bully - as a lot of them do. That's when the reader is seduced into the victim/persecutor/rescuer triangle, rather than from the more detached position you need to inhabit in order to handle a difficult person or situation in an effective and convincing manner.

 

So rather than ruminating in the way that some of the anti-bullying websites encourage (popular questions seeming to be "is my boss a psychopath/narcissist? Why do these people get placed in positions of power? Am I being picked on because of my many wonderful qualities that are a threat to the psychopath/narcissist? etc") it's probably most helpful to focus on three straightforward questions.

 

1. How is this man's behaviour affecting me?

2. What can I do to limit the impact of his behaviour on me?

3. Is the employer able/willing to address the situation so that I can return to the workplace without my health being adversely affected? (possibly a question that will only be answered definitely once you raise a formal grievance which demands a response by the employer)

4. If the employer isn't able or willing, what should my next step be? (best answered by whichever lawyer you consult).

 

If you do go to see a lawyer, which is a good plan if you're considering leaving the job because of this guy, the lawyer will love you for keeping the presenting problem simple rather than giving way to the temptation to vent. "My boss behaves abusively towards me and others in the workplace. My health has deteriorated as a result of having to deal with him. I'm currently off sick, and want to know what my next move should be."

 

The lawyer can then draw out the further details they need from you, and will no doubt want to examine your employment contract and a copy of the company's internal disciplinary and grievance procedures - so take both along with you.

whitecaps, this is the best approach to take, from every perspective.
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WHitecaps im so sorry this is happening to you. I would suggest getting your brothers,brother in laws,or some other unknown BIG MALE relative to follow this guy to his fav bar wait until he is drunk and pick a fight. Resulting in him getting the SHAT beat out of him.....BUT i know this is not the correct way to handle things with that said.......

 

Document every incident and get a good lawyer you have a case on your hands. You have complained about being HARASSED at work and your boss does nothing. Sue the SHAT out of them...maybe even sue the guy individually for mental anguish. Hit this jerk where it hurts HIS POCKETS.

 

 

Thank you for that...it made me smile, for a moment. My husband is trying to keep my spirit up by saying things like, "How come he gets to talk to you like that and yell at you but you won't let me get away with it." His such a funny guy.:rolleyes:

 

The bully is a MD who has a contract with the hospital that I work at. It's not a 'hit and run' for him, we have to put up with him everyday, on call, 24/7. He also has fishing trips with the CEO of the hospital and who knows what other stuff he does with the upper management. I guess I just went after a big fish, and I'm just a little minnow.

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There's only so much that you as an individual can do in an effort to address this man's behaviour. By informally raising the matter with the company you have taken the first step. If you want some definitive action by the company, you will probably need to raise a grievance about this man's behaviour by following the company's internal procedures.

 

Avoiding contacting you might well be the result of advice they've had from HR or their lawyers, so I wouldn't take their failure to contact you to heart. When someone's off sick, it's not generally a good plan for an employer to get in touch with them - unless they've been off sick for long enough time that internal procedures for dealing with an employee's long term sickness start to kick in.

 

Having an encyclopaedic knowledge of what various people, psychologists and organisations say about bullying and toxic workplaces won't necessarily put you in stronger place, litigation wise, than you'd be without it. It might also be counterproductive to your health if it leads to you spending vast amounts of time ruminating on the issue of workplace bullying and raising your anxiety levels as a result. Bear in mind that a lot of people who set up anti-bullying websites are struggling with their own issues about having been bullied at work.

 

In looking to raise awareness about the issue they may inadvertently also raise stress and anger levels in those who read the sites and relate to their content. Especially once they get into the realms of the psychological make-up of the bully - as a lot of them do. That's when the reader is seduced into the victim/persecutor/rescuer triangle, rather than from the more detached position you need to inhabit in order to handle a difficult person or situation in an effective and convincing manner.

 

So rather than ruminating in the way that some of the anti-bullying websites encourage (popular questions seeming to be "is my boss a psychopath/narcissist? Why do these people get placed in positions of power? Am I being picked on because of my many wonderful qualities that are a threat to the psychopath/narcissist? etc") it's probably most helpful to focus on three straightforward questions.

 

1. How is this man's behaviour affecting me?

2. What can I do to limit the impact of his behaviour on me?

3. Is the employer able/willing to address the situation so that I can return to the workplace without my health being adversely affected? (possibly a question that will only be answered definitely once you raise a formal grievance which demands a response by the employer)

4. If the employer isn't able or willing, what should my next step be? (best answered by whichever lawyer you consult).

 

If you do go to see a lawyer, which is a good plan if you're considering leaving the job because of this guy, the lawyer will love you for keeping the presenting problem simple rather than giving way to the temptation to vent. "My boss behaves abusively towards me and others in the workplace. My health has deteriorated as a result of having to deal with him. I'm currently off sick, and want to know what my next move should be."

 

The lawyer can then draw out the further details they need from you, and will no doubt want to examine your employment contract and a copy of the company's internal disciplinary and grievance procedures - so take both along with you.

 

I have pretty much made up my mind that I will not be returning. Last time I was there, I had a anxiety attack, diaphoretic, increased heart rate, hives on the way home, red face due to high blood pressure.

 

I will take those papers that you described to the lawyer. I don't have any grievance paper work because I went directly to the top, Assistant CEO. I did take another co-worker with me as a witness. She was severely bullied by him and she has been keeping a journal from day 1.

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There's nothing illegal about being rude and pushy and unreasonable and belittling and demanding.

 

I don't know how to take this. But then, English is not my first language. Does this mean that he has the right to abuse me?

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