What does my boss want from me?

[PixieDD]

So, I've been at my current job for about two years working for a guy whos a few years older than me (he's 28, I'm 25). We've always gotten along really well and for the first 8 months or so, everything was pretty professional between us. He has a serious girlfriend of about 3 years.

 

Then about a year or so ago, we'd start talking about our personal lives, I'd stay after office hours and sit in his office and just chat with him. He'd always find a way to put his hand on the small of my back when no one else was around or touch my shoulders, hair etc. As soon as anybody else was by us, he wouldn't do it. Also, he always tells me that I smell "intoxicating". One day I mentioned to him that my back bothered me and he offered to give me a massage. I declined, thinking it was pretty inappropriate. A few days later, he offered again and I accepted.

 

My first question is....would you consider a massage cheating on your significant other? I've gotten mixed answers.

 

Also, he'll text me right after I leave work saying that if I "forgot anything" he would be there for a bit. He'll text me on weekends occasionaly to tell me if he had gone to a place that we had previously talked about. Or he'll text me just to tell me he hopes I'm having a good night.

 

Another thing, I'm a college student and I always joke with him about how I'm gonna find a rich old man to sleep with to pay for my textbooks and he always says I can "always work overtime." A little baffling since our place of business is slow and we don't even work a full 40 hour work week.

 

He's never come straight out and told me what he wants from me and I'm horrible confused.

 

What does it seem like he's going for? is it just innocent flirting? is there something more that he wants??? HELP!!!!!!

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Wow!

 

Well this is pretty obvious.

 

 

He clearly wants some sort of extra-curricular activity with you.

 

 

 

I think you were correct in your belief that the massage was inappropriate on multiple levels.

 

 

I get the sense that he would pay you for sex if you weren't willing to give it to him freely.

 

 

The good news in all of this is that HE is doubly to blame, and you are really no more responsible in this scenario than is the "mature-looking" thirteen-year-old girl who is hit upon by men of twenty-six.

 

He is your superior in the workplace, and he is the one with the girlfriend, and the one who should be honoring that relationship.

 

(the only advantage you have over the 13yo is that you are wise enough to do more to preserve your own long-term emotional well-being)

 

Don't forget that while cheating is a ritual for some, others who "would if they could" tend to find it difficult to avail themselves of the time and opportunities without being noticed. So perhaps your appeal is enhanced by your convenience to the work routine he knows.

 

 

Sometimes it is really tough for women to discover, assess, and deal with their perceived 'social worth' out there. In this case it would probably be a very good idea for you to resist his advances with all of your might, before you find yourself emotionally wiped-out and in a dangerous situation where emotional investments are tethered to your income as well.

 

(better you than me, having to deal with something so difficult)

[You'reasian]

So, I've been at my current job for about two years working for a guy whos a few years older than me (he's 28, I'm 25). We've always gotten along really well and for the first 8 months or so, everything was pretty professional between us. He has a serious girlfriend of about 3 years.

 

Then about a year or so ago, we'd start talking about our personal lives, I'd stay after office hours and sit in his office and just chat with him. He'd always find a way to put his hand on the small of my back when no one else was around or touch my shoulders, hair etc. As soon as anybody else was by us, he wouldn't do it. Also, he always tells me that I smell "intoxicating". One day I mentioned to him that my back bothered me and he offered to give me a massage. I declined, thinking it was pretty inappropriate. A few days later, he offered again and I accepted.

 

My first question is....would you consider a massage cheating on your significant other? I've gotten mixed answers.

 

Also, he'll text me right after I leave work saying that if I "forgot anything" he would be there for a bit. He'll text me on weekends occasionaly to tell me if he had gone to a place that we had previously talked about. Or he'll text me just to tell me he hopes I'm having a good night.

 

Another thing, I'm a college student and I always joke with him about how I'm gonna find a rich old man to sleep with to pay for my textbooks and he always says I can "always work overtime." A little baffling since our place of business is slow and we don't even work a full 40 hour work week.

 

He's never come straight out and told me what he wants from me and I'm horrible confused.

 

What does it seem like he's going for? is it just innocent flirting? is there something more that he wants??? HELP!!!!!!

 

Massaging at work is not professional. Depending on where you work, it is inappropriate.

 

If he's moving in on you, its best to retreat from his advances and remind him that its not acceptable. Likewise, its not good to encourage him.

[Enema]

He wants your vagina.

 

Couldn't be more obvious.

[D-Lish]

He wants your vagina.

 

Couldn't be more obvious.

 

Yes, and yes.