Appearance bias in the workplace

[beingthebest]

I have a job that I have been with for a while and I love the job immensely.

 

I have always had a feeling as if my boss doesn't respect the talents and qualities I brought to my job----I was constantly being told to think differently that what I learned previously. This was weird as both jobs are very different, so not a lot of crossover of tasks or duties.

 

I have noticed that my boss at times would stare at what I was eating at food-related events. I am on the larger side.

 

I then found that when I would question my boss or ask for a more thorough explanation of things, my boss would get very defensive. My boss made a comment that likened my questions as being overbearing. I felt taken aback by this because I have a male co-worker who says similar things, but my boss thinks he is hilarious.

 

I tried to talk with my boss about the way I feel she has been treating me----I tried to say this in the most professional of ways, and did not mention things related to food or how co-workers are treated differently. My boss got very defensive and admitted no fault and when I voiced concerns, I was told that I need to work on how I related to different issues. I was also told that I shouldn't have certain concerns, or that I shouldn't think about them. I feel as if I can't really say if I have a concern about anything anymore.

 

i find myself getting upset more because I see co-workers who lie, who cut corners, but are very chummy with my boss and get more respect as an adult. I often feel that my boss treats me as if I am a child, and makes it a point to give me extra training when it isn't necessary. I have noticed that when I ask something my boss gets irritated, when my male co-worker asks something, she is much more open and friendly.

 

I am not sure what to do as I love my job, and the company is going thru such difficulties that I really just want to hold onto my job as long as possible and I don't feel like I could talk to HR. I feel that if my appearance changed, I would be treated better. I feel like my boss has a unconcious bias, and I have seen her treat other people (both heavy women or women she didn't have respect for) similarly.

 

I feel as if all I can do is just do my best plus 100% more. I feel that my boss is priming a co-worker for promotions, even though my co-worker is not the most trustworthy.

[Blackfrost]

Are you sure that it's appearance bias? I mean, yes, it is possible, and you would know the situation better than I. Some of the things you describe from your boss (I swear you're working for my old boss ) make me think that there might be more to the situation then you are picking up on? Being self critical and understanding whether or not you are performing the way your boss wants you to perform is a difficult art to master. And it may not even be that you aren't performing just as well as those people, and your boss just feels like you should be doing more: for whatever reason.

 

It really sounds like your boss (and I've worked for these types before) just doesn't want to have to deal with you, and would prefer you just did your work and didn't say anything to her about how you feel. It sucks to work in that kind of environment, but obviously talking to her about it just leads to more confrontation. Assess your situation more deeply, and see if you can pick up on additional clues as to why you are being treated this way.

 

good luck:)