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Butt out or....butt's in?


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Ok. I have this new colleague in my office. We are all basically self employed and work under our boss's license. The new girl is very often wildly inappropriately dressed (short shorts and high heels....on days that she meets with clients) and seems to be very wealthy (luxury auto, $2000 purses that actually don't look faux, etc). She is a single mom and she's about 20.

 

The other day she lied and blamed me for something that I did not do. It's not the first time she's done this. I let it slide, figuring she's young, and I just explained to the boss that there must be some mistake, but I did not do X because I wasn't even there at the time....whatever. I think I handled it well. I did not cast blame back on her. Actually, she has been making enough trouble around the office, setting appointments and not keeping them, etc., never answering her phone and the like. It doesn't really matter to me - as I said, we are all basically self-employed under an umbrella license. She could conceivably harm the office's reputation, but that's it. I've heard there are numerous complaints about her (not to mention chuckles and comments like "where did you guys find Cupcake in the Daisy Dukes?" from competitors who have seen her out and about.) It seems odd to me that we would take on someone like this but I'm not the boss. She also sits in front of the office smoking a lot, which doesn't look great either.

 

Anyhow, still feeling a bit mad about her throwing me under the bus, I googled this girl...and found multiple - and I mean pages and pages of hits - of photos of her in lingerie, topless and finally full on naked (yes, I admit, once I found the first few photos I kept digging and it took all of about 30 seconds to find full frontal shots). It is all in her own name, and it's not hard to find. There are video clips. I didn't open them. But they are under her name too. I'm guessing at the content. It's on an erotic website.

 

Anyhow, do I keep this info to myself? And if so - HOW???? How am I possibly to be expected to keep this to myself?!?!?!?! The right thing to do is just write about it on this forum, and hold it in at work, isn't it?

Edited by Stuck
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Throw her under the bus, she'd do it to you, plus she's damaging the reputation of your work place. However, do it based on what she does while at work, not in her personal life. The real issue is her unprofessional behavior at work not what she does after hours. I would have no issue with someone in sales (sounds like you and her are in sales) doing any erotic/adult work on their own time as long as they were professional on the clock and didn't damage the productivity of the office.

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I would tell the boss exactly what happened re: her lying, and also about the other times.

 

And I would probably mention in passing that googling her was very interesting...underhand, but I can't lie and say I would keep that to myself because I probably wouldn't.

 

Let the boss figure out the rest.

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But seriously, if you are going to plaster photos of yourself on the internet where you are naked and touching yourself, wouldn't at least COME UP WITH A FAKE NAME!!!??? How retarded do you have to be to keep your same name???

 

A friend suggested I print out some of the photos and mail them to the boss anonomously with a note like "this is what you find when you google (her name) and (our town's name). Maybe you already know." Then that leaves it up to the boss to react, or not react. After all, it's her decision.

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I think you're blurring judgements here.

What the hell business is it of yours what she does in her spare/private time?

And if she's so blatant about her poses and photos, what does she care if people know her real name?

 

Don't confuse her hobby/pastime with her professional output.

One is one thing and the other is the other.

 

Her sexuality and promiscuousness on the internet have nothing to do, directly, with how she works - or not, as the case may be.

If you must 'judge' her, judge her only on her activities at work, because the rest of it is none of your damn business - or anyone else's - unless she makes it so.

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I agree, but my point is that, her porn-life has nothing whatsoever to do with her business life.

Her work is suffering because she's not doing it, and because she's not a reliable worker.

 

but it has diddly-squat to do with what else she does....

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I agree, but my point is that, her porn-life has nothing whatsoever to do with her business life.

 

Well, that's not necessarily true.

 

The OP said they are all self employed but working in this one office under the one license. Therefore, her lack of decorum could reflect on the office as a whole, thus possibly negatively affecting the others' businesses.

 

Edit: Unless they are running an escort service, of course.

Edited by donnamaybe
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In theory, it shouldn't matter. Perhaps if the employee WAS a conscientious worker at work, her colleague (stuck) wouldn't mind so much.

 

However, she has displayed poor behaviour at work, which has led to scrutiny of her private life. Not necessarily fair, but if you want to work in a normal job during the day, I would advise keeping your head down, working hard and drawing as little attention to yourself as possible.

 

I would be very very wary of employing someone who was that accessible online.

 

I have a professional reputation to uphold too, and no matter how much people think it shouldn't matter, to some it would. I would prefer to employ someone less controversial for the sake of my business.

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