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Send negative response if insulted during an interview?


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I know all the classic dos and don'ts regarding the interview process. But let's say during one of the rounds of interviews the interviewer, who is not your main contact for the rounds of interviews, makes a statement or two that are insulting or demeaning but you can't tell if they were intentional or the person just stuck their foot in their mouth.

 

Do you let your main contact know? Or do you just let it go?

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I know all the classic dos and don'ts regarding the interview process. But let's say during one of the rounds of interviews the interviewer, who is not your main contact for the rounds of interviews, makes a statement or two that are insulting or demeaning but you can't tell if they were intentional or the person just stuck their foot in their mouth.

 

Do you let your main contact know? Or do you just let it go?

 

I would use it as a way to gauge your success thus far. I've never been shy about asking toward the end of an interview, "so where do I stand with the company at this point? Any tips for improving my odds? So and so made this comment which made me wonder if I've done something wrong?"

 

This is a pretty tough call.

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laRubiaBonita

i wouldn't say anything unless i got the job... and even then, as a new employee, i would be wary.

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Trialbyfire

It depends on what was said and how it was said. It could also be a test for drama, sensitivity level and how the person handles conflict.

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To me it would matter if that person was someone who would be my superior or direct coworker if I was hired.

 

Remember that not only are they interviewing you but you are also interviewing them.

I know many employers take the stance that you should be lucky to be interviewing for them but honestly the interview process is a bi-directional deal and they should be dotting all their I's and crossing all their T's as well.

 

Maybe the thing to do is let it go unless you get another round then ask them a few questions that might put your mind to rest about the possible insult.. maybe fish some to see if they are really like that or not

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Its aggravating and tempting for sure...

 

But one of the important lessons Ive learned professionally is: Dont burn any bridges

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To me it would matter if that person was someone who would be my superior or direct coworker if I was hired.

 

Definitely at least a direct coworker, possibly a superior. I'm not really sure.

 

Remember that not only are they interviewing you but you are also interviewing them.

I know many employers take the stance that you should be lucky to be interviewing for them but honestly the interview process is a bi-directional deal and they should be dotting all their I's and crossing all their T's as well.

 

Maybe the thing to do is let it go unless you get another round then ask them a few questions that might put your mind to rest about the possible insult.. maybe fish some to see if they are really like that or not

 

The thing that kind of sucks is that this was the third round. The first two were very pleasant.

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It depends on what was said and how it was said. It could also be a test for drama, sensitivity level and how the person handles conflict.

 

I tend to agree with this, so long as it wasn't a discriminatory comment (which I don't think it was, seeing as you're in the majority :)).

 

Can you elaborate on what was said?

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Can you elaborate on what was said?

 

The guy was basically talking up his own company (no problem there) but also putting down other, smaller companies and the work they do. I work for the kind of company he was talking about but he wasn't specifically referring to the one I work for. Given that he should know about my background since he has my resume and there have been two prior rounds of interviews, he should have known the comments he was making apply to me and my current employer. It's possible he didn't recognize that fact, but he would have to be pretty dense not to. That's why I don't know if it was intentionally insulting or simply a poor choice of words. He was essentially disrespecting my experience.

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I'd say he was either testing you, or he's a jerk - or both! He may be the reason why the position is open in the first place?? Do you know why the position is open? (newly-created for an expanding business? or did somebody get promoted? or did they leave? get fired?)

 

Any way you look at it, I would not take it personally, but definitely treat it like a warning flag for yourself.

 

And no, I would NOT say anything about it to your main contact!!

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Do you know why the position is open? (newly-created for an expanding business? or did somebody get promoted? or did they leave? get fired?)

 

The official reason given is because the business is expanding but I get the feeling that it has more to do with their rate of turnover.

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The guy was basically talking up his own company (no problem there) but also putting down other, smaller companies and the work they do. I work for the kind of company he was talking about but he wasn't specifically referring to the one I work for. Given that he should know about my background since he has my resume and there have been two prior rounds of interviews, he should have known the comments he was making apply to me and my current employer. It's possible he didn't recognize that fact, but he would have to be pretty dense not to. That's why I don't know if it was intentionally insulting or simply a poor choice of words. He was essentially disrespecting my experience.

 

Sounds like he's a bit arrogant about his company (company pride ain't so bad) and a bit of a social dimwit.

 

I think you're fine. Ignoring the comment was the right thing to do. Let it go and when you get hired there you can share dude's pride with him.

 

edit - in this economic climate the employers really do hold all the power. You'd be wise not to forget that.

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The official reason given is because the business is expanding but I get the feeling that it has more to do with their rate of turnover.

 

Yes it very well might. Always trust your gut. Where there's smoke, there's fire!

 

You'll just have to weigh it out - how important landing this job is to you.

 

I agree with Phateless, employers are currently holding all the cards right now. If you really need this job, then I would keep it to yourself.

 

The economic pendulum will eventually swing the other way. And then you'll be able to tell them to kiss your happy @ss goodbye and watch it walk out the door.

 

But now's not really a good time for that.:D

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Why are the wise decisions never the fun ones? :D

 

So you can be proud of yourself for making it, lol.

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OK - here ya go.

 

Send him , personally , a letter of inquiry from the offices of a professional head hunter. (a fake one) In it state that they have been made aware of his presence in the industry and that they would welcome the chance to meet with him to discuss his income requirements.

 

He will spend the DAY looking for them, convinced that he has finally gotten recognition, and not swallow that they are fake until he is absolutely forced to.

 

Take ya 5 minutes

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OK - here ya go.

 

Send him , personally , a letter of inquiry from the offices of a professional head hunter. (a fake one) In it state that they have been made aware of his presence in the industry and that they would welcome the chance to meet with him to discuss his income requirements.

 

He will spend the DAY looking for them, convinced that he has finally gotten recognition, and not swallow that they are fake until he is absolutely forced to.

 

Take ya 5 minutes

 

Funny idea but if I was going to say/do anything it would be the more direct avenue. :)

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This is weird....

many years ago, I was in a similar situation (only it was an in-company opportunity) and one of the people interviewing me made some rather derogatory remarks about two companies we considered competitors.

But I really thought he was way out of line, and I think the guy next to him (see, that's where it was easier for me.....) thought so too....

 

But he ended the comment with - "So - what do YOU think about *so-and-so*?

 

I gave it a few seconds of deliberate thought then spoke slowly and quietly...

 

"Well...I've learnt in my time to never knock the opposition. For a couple of reasons.

One: if they're in business, it's because they must be doing something right, two, they probably stop us from getting complacent, and three....We're THEIR opposition, and I'd like to think they wouldn't knock us either. Question of professional respect, I think....but hey... that's just my opinion, for what it's worth.... does that answer your question?"

 

It worked for me, but I guess the situation was a bit different.....

 

Not sure I've really helped.....

 

And I smiled.

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Oh yeah theres that. Direct.

 

Being employed in advertising, I completely forgot about that approach.

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"Well...I've learnt in my time to never knock the opposition. For a couple of reasons.

One: if they're in business, it's because they must be doing something right, two, they probably stop us from getting complacent, and three....We're THEIR opposition, and I'd like to think they wouldn't knock us either. Question of professional respect, I think....but hey... that's just my opinion, for what it's worth.... does that answer your question?"

 

I'll keep that in mind should it come in handy in the future. :)

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I wonder if he was just trying to see whether you were willing to badmouth the (small) company you worked for. If it was a test, I guess you passed it.

Also, were you applying for a position where you have to be in contact with a lot of people? Then the "testing your resistance level to jerkiness" might make sense too.

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Also, were you applying for a position where you have to be in contact with a lot of people?

 

Not a lot but some. I can see that kind of test for a more people-oriented position but this one is more tech-oriented. Techies are generally not sought after for their people skills. :D

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Not a lot but some. I can see that kind of test for a more people-oriented position but this one is more tech-oriented. Techies are generally not sought after for their people skills. :D

 

lol, so true.

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