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This girl I really like at work...


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Okay, this will be a somewhat long story. However I'm VERY lost at this point and not really sure what to do from here. First thing is let me introduce myself a little bit, I just turned 20 recently, I've never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, never had sex etc. you get the point I'm sure ;). I've worked with this girl for around 2-3 years now, and I always thought she was cute but never really went after her for a few reasons, the obvious fear of rejection, as well as the fact that I'd never once actually tried to get a girl. I'm very very attracted to this girl, and she is the first girl I've ever liked based mostly on personality... the fact that she is actually quite cute is a complete + to the whole factor, I started to actually like her as I got to know her better over the years and realized that she pretty much has an identical taste in music, books, tv, movies etc. as I do, and that has always been like my "dream girl" personality. Anyway, the past few weeks, I've been testing the waters as best I could to see if there was any mutual interest, or even just her willing to entertain the idea of me and maybe just do something with me outside work. Well the one day about 3 weeks ago we were talking about seafood at work and she mentioned how much she liked it, and that now she was craving it, and wanted to go get some... this was said in a group setting however, so it was hard to say if it was directed at me to be like *nudge* ask me. Anyway the conversation was on my way out the door, and I didn't want to put her in a awkward spot and ask her in front of everyone.

 

I didn't see her for about 2 days and bought it up to her, she told me that she was thinking of going on that Saturday she just wasn't 100% certain where she was going yet or at what time... so I did try to make an actual time but she couldn't really give one, so I told her to let me know before Saturday if she wants to go. She answered me in a whisper for some reason but nonetheless just said "I will." Well obviously, Saturday comes, it's about 1pm and she hasn't said anything to me yet, also note she was on "vacation" at this point, her birthday was that Thursday prior so she took off for the whole following week. So I sent her a text message and the conversation went as such (word for word from my phone log).

 

 

Me: "Hey so you never mentioned seafood to me yesterday, wanna get some today?"

 

Her: "When did we plan that for Saturday?"

 

Me: "We never made an official time but you said Saturday and that you'd let me know when."

 

Her: "Oh no I can't today"

 

Me: "Okay, np, some other time"

 

Now today was the first day I saw her in about a week since that conversation via text. I've been trying to psych myself up for nothing to happen between the two of us since that conversation because at least from the way I read it, it seemed like a nice way of saying "No I'd rather never," then again I've known her for awhile and she's usually one to say whats on her mind. Anyway like I said, today was the first day I really have seen her since the text about seafood because she was on vacation. Pretty much all day, she kept staring me down, no smile, no words, just she'd walk by me and I'd turn around she'd be staring and keep staring until she lost line of sight. Then at one point I walked near her to file something at work and noticed she was talking to one of her "girlfriends," as I got closer they stopped talking and she was just staring again. I asked her just kind of like "Yeah?" you know like a why are you staring yes, do you need something? etc. She just kept staring and the girl she was talking to was just like, you should walk away... and when I asked why she just said "you should just walk away." While all this is going on the girl I like is still staring at me, with a slight smile on her face, almost like a trying to hold it back smile, not a hold back laugh but a smile. Also as I was leaving for the day I noticed her giving me that same blank stare for a good couple of seconds, I just kind of smiled at her and when I did she turned around and just struck up a conversation with one of her friends whom I've also worked with for a long time.

 

When I left work I was trying to put this all together So I text her if I did something to piss her off or anything? She responded almost immediately with "Haha no not at all", then I asked her "Okay, what was the whole thing w/ Julie (the girl she was talking to) and the staring me down all day about then lol?" she responded with "Just kidding? Idk lol" (Again all word for word from my text log)

 

I'm not sure what to think about all this... it was very odd though, I felt uncomfortable about it because I thought I pissed her off, and crush or not, thats the last thing I'd want to do... what do you think? I'm really confused here

 

The big thing I'm wondering is wtf she was talking to Julie about that they stopped the second I got near? They both stopped talking the second they noticed me walking up, and they seemed fine talking in front of other people. Cause I could see them from a distance talking while other people were walking up right next to them etc. Also like I said she didn't say a word to me just sat there and stared at me with a slight smirk on her face while Julie told me I should walk away and not question "why" she was staring at me.

 

Like I said sorry for the long winded post, but at this moment I'm unsure what to think. She usually doesn't just screw with people so I don't think it was that, I mean is it possible this is her way of saying "Stop trying to ask me out ;)" without being rude about it? Or maybe the complete opposite when she's actually trying to give me the hint of "Why don't you just come out and say whats on your mind about me and quit stepping around stones?" Any help or insight would be really appreciated.

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GorillaTheater

I'm trying to come up with something here, and I suspect others had the same problem.

 

This "staring" thing is what I'm getting stuck on. Either you left out the part where you're visibly psychotic and she's now scared for her safety, or she's the one who's a bit psychotic.

 

Best advice is to let it go. She doesn't seem overly interested, and there's this "staring" dynamic that I'm just not getting.

 

Sorry, bro.

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  • Author

Well I'm definitely not psychotic, and neither is she as far as I know, lol. The part that bothered me most regarding the staring thing was her reaction to it when asked, the whole "Just kidding? idk lol" I've worked with her like I said for about 3 years now and never once can I recall her being the type that screws with people, in the joking or serious matter. I'd also like to say that I just "thought" she was staring at me, because the very next day after I originally asked her about the whole seafood thing, I thought I kept noticing her staring at me, but it would be like I'd turn and look at her and see her head swing the other way sort of thing.

 

This time it was VERY obvious, like literally staring at me, I'd turn around and she would just keep staring at me while she was walking or just standing there, it was odd and slightly uncomfortable too I might add.

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Citizen Erased

My advice would be to stop sending her texts. Either she likes you and she's being an idiot or she doesn't and she's making out that you're some sort of creep behind your back to her friend.

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  • Author

yeah, I planned on doing so anyway. Like I said I was ready to just start forgetting about her and get with the fact that she doesn't like me that way. Then that whole staring thing through me off, she does have an odd personality and I've seen her "mad and just simply upset" with people before and she's usually straight forward about it, if you try to talk to her and she's unhappy with you she'll usually simply state that your an ******* and she doesn't want to talk to you at the moment. Not just randomly stare them down. I don't know at this point I'm going to try my best just to leave it alone and not really acknowledge her for the next few days and see what happens. I can't imagine she would actually be mad at me for liking her that would just be stupid, the only thing I feel it all could've meant is she is kind of wondering what my intentions are, because I am very shy and bad with the whole women thing so I wouldn't be surprised if she has no clue where I'm going with the whole seafood thing (i.e. Do I just want seafood... or do I want seafood with her?) Now whether or not she really cares what my intentions are, that I have no clue about.

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wontgohomewou

Next time she stares at you, go to her and be like WHAT?! Why do you keep staring at me? Do you like me or something? And then you can tell if she likes you by her reaction to that.

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Talkofthatown919
Next time she stares at you, go to her and be like WHAT?! Why do you keep staring at me? Do you like me or something? And then you can tell if she likes you by her reaction to that.

 

^Agree with this task right here

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Blackberries
Next time she stares at you, go to her and be like WHAT?! Why do you keep staring at me? Do you like me or something? And then you can tell if she likes you by her reaction to that.

 

No, just leave her alone. You are in the workplace, not a nightclub, and even if she is a good friend, or even if she is usually calm, if you keep asking her out and sending her texts she could consider it harassment.

 

I was in a very similar situation to her a couple of weeks ago- I had someone constantly sending me messages asking me to go for coffee, drinks, "talk to me alone", etc etc. My friends told him twice to leave me alone and he wouldn't. In the end they reminded him that a less patient girl would report him for sexual harassment and he still wouldn't listen. I have now blocked him from sending me messages, and I completely ignore him in work.

 

You may not think you are being pushy or creepy but she might be very uncomfortable.

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