LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Business and Professional Relationships

I can't stand my boss who can't stand me


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 25th April 2003, 6:02 PM   #16
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: MA
Posts: 1,836
working with a empty stomach

Today at work I sat down during my break for a half hour.I use to get something to eat and a drink but stopped cause the last time I went to get myself a drink this person was staring at me like I was doing something wrong.Not only that she constanly stares at me when Im working and I begin to feel like Im doing something wrong.I always avoid doing things at work cause Im afraid shes going to look over at me.Shes always doing this.

When Im doing my work she will take her work and work near me purposly.

Its a long day and I hate having to work with a empty stomach.The other day she went to run errand thats the only time I had something to eat.I always think shes after me for something.She really acts like she hates me for some reason.I do my best to ignore her but it gets to me sometimes.Shes one ogf the managers.Im glad she wont be there tommorow.

Patty
Patty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2003, 6:22 PM   #17
yes
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: canada
Posts: 2,973
patty patty...

next time she's looking at you, just ask - "what?" ... "you were looking at me ... did you want to ask something?"

-yes
yes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2003, 7:16 PM   #18
Established Member
 
moimeme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
Posts: 16,499
If you are taking the breaks at appropriate times and you are spending the correct amount of time at your break, this person has no business worrying about whether you eat or not and you should not care. People are allowed to eat, you know!

Are you positive you are interpreting her expression the right way? Is it possible that she just naturally has a peculiar expression which you are mistaking for disapproval? We misinterpret others easily and we never think we might be mistaken.
moimeme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2003, 7:48 PM   #19
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: MA
Posts: 1,836
Quote:
Are you positive you are interpreting her expression the right way? Is it possible that she just naturally has a peculiar expression which you are mistaking for disapproval? We misinterpret others easily and we never think we might be mistaken.




I just notice she looks over at me with mad looks on her face and it makes me uncomfortable.I could be misinterpeting it or it could be anxiety.All I can do is ignore her.She wants a reaction so its best I not show it to her.I'll just smile instead.And I will go in to work doing the best I can do.

Thanks.

Patty
Patty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th April 2003, 12:17 AM   #20
Member
 
cindy0039's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 1,359
Patty

Patty - I think you should try to approach this person sometime when you can talk to her alone and just let her know how you feel. Ask her if you've done something to upset her. Try to be nice and polite and let her know that you want to have a good working relationship with her. I think the longer you let it go on, the more it's probably getting to you. It might be nothing at all. But even if there's something there, I'm sure you can work it out by talking to her. Good luck!

p.s. Whatever happens don't let this keep you from eating. It's important that you eat.
cindy0039 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th April 2003, 7:32 PM   #21
Established Member
 
Tolkien's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: California
Posts: 140
Patty, this person is your M A N A G E R, it's their J O B to "stare" at you. What kind of business would you have if your manager did nothing at all, customers would start to complain, and the business would lose money. It's their job to make sure that happens.

It's her right to breath down your neck all day long if she wants, just like its your right to try and get a higher education, maybe a better job...
Tolkien is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th April 2003, 10:05 PM   #22
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: MA
Posts: 1,836
Quote:
Patty, this person is your M A N A G E R, it's their J O B to "stare" at you. What kind of business would you have if your manager did nothing at all, customers would start to complain, and the business would lose money. It's their job to make sure that happens.
It wouldnt be a business at all if everyone got harrassed.They can stare yes to make sure everyone is doing thire job right but if their doing it constantly until a person feels uncomfortable then thats another thing.

Quote:
It's her right to breath down your neck all day long if she wants, just like its your right to try and get a higher education, maybe a better job...
It is? Wow. Thats the first time I heard that.

Patty

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 28th April 2003 at 8:58 AM.. Reason: Added [quote] tags.
Patty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th April 2003, 10:21 PM   #23
Established Member
 
Tony T's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 15,713
I've been in management for many years and the best managers find no need to stare at their workers. As a matter of fact, if they do a good enough job of picking and training their people managers should be able to leave early each day.

The manager who is staring at you has serious psychological problems, especially if she is doing this consistently day after day without any explanation to you whatsoever. It's very rude. Your best bet is to ignore it and feel sorry for her ignorance.

By all means, take your breaks and eat. Ask the manager to join you so she can stare up close.

You deserve a break today!!!
Tony T is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th April 2003, 10:47 PM   #24
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: MA
Posts: 1,836
Quote:
I've been in management for many years and the best managers find no need to stare at their workers. As a matter of fact, if they do a good enough job of picking and training their people managers should be able to leave early each day.

The manager who is staring at you has serious psychological problems, especially if she is doing this consistently day after day without any explanation to you whatsoever. It's very rude. Your best bet is to ignore it and feel sorry for her ignorance.

Yea,I guess its the only thing I can do.I will even smile at work.

Thanks Tony and everyone for your opinions.

Patty
Patty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th April 2003, 3:31 PM   #25
Established Member
 
moimeme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
Posts: 16,499
Quote:
Patty, this person is your M A N A G E R, it's their J O B to "stare" at you. What kind of business would you have if your manager did nothing at all, customers would start to complain, and the business would lose money. It's their job to make sure that happens.

It's her right to breath down your neck all day long if she wants, just like its your right to try and get a higher education, maybe a better job...
Oh, lord in heaven! Tolkein, may you never become a manager. It is this sort of antediluvian thought which creates huge problems in workplaces. Any manager who thinks that responsible, educated adults with lives of their own immediately turn into children the minute they step in the workplace door ought to be bottled up and sent to another planet entirely because they are of no use here.
moimeme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd May 2003, 7:14 PM   #26
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: MA
Posts: 1,836
rough day

When Im at work,I go in do my job and try as much as possible to mind my own business.However there is this manager I dont like that is always butting in my business and saying this and that about me.I hear her and can hear everything she says about me.Then people there like the other managers speak to me about the little things she finds to complain about me.I think she works very hard at trying to get me in to some trouble.She isnt really doing her job either cause shes so busy looking at people to see what they are doing.

Well today,I got done my work a little earlier then usual.And I helped her with her happy meals.One bucket was divided between the girls and boys toys.So I put the girls toys in the girl bucket and the boys toys in the boys bucket.She comes over at me and looks inside the happy meal bags and found just one girl toy in the bucket that was suppose to be the boys bucket.She takes it out and throws it at me.And I never even put it there.She always walks near me to find stuff,the little stuff that dont even matter, to complain about.I try very hard to please her but I cant.

She wasnt happy the last time I talked to someone else and said how uncomfortable she made me.

I dont know what to do anymore.


Patty
Patty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd May 2003, 8:01 PM   #27
Established Member
 
Tony T's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 15,713
You seem to have a lot of problems with this particular manager. In all your life, you will encounter one person here and there who will try to make your life miserable. Your job is to frame your attitude so that doesn't happen. When she does something nasty to you, compliment her. Do that enough and she'll go crazy.

Learn to ignore the remarks and behavior of crazy people. Just do your job, do it right, follow the direction of you supervisors and disregard all else.

I know it's frustrating but it's reality...it's life.
Tony T is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd May 2003, 8:04 PM   #28
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: MA
Posts: 1,836
Thanks.I will try not to let her get to me.Maybe I just need to keep ignoring her.

Patty
Patty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th May 2003, 12:56 AM   #29
Established Member
 
jessicakicksbut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Northeastern PA
Posts: 189
Fast food industry

Patty,

I used to work in a fast food restaurant from the time i was 16 till 21 years old. Let me tell you, that was the hardest job I ever had. No one ever believes me when I tell them about how hard it was, between the managers with attitude, the customers who did not give one ounce of respect (because I was a "lowly" fast food worker; little did they realize the job helped me through college), the co-workers who always tried to make your job miserable, the constant "running around" in order to reach our goal of 3 minutes total service time, the long hours, the hot kitchen, the low pay, etc. I can go on and on, but one thing that always stuck in my mind is how poor the management was. Not only their attitude and how they treated their workers, but how they couldn't even do their own job to full potential. Maybe it is the type of work, but it seems that fast food restaurants seem to acquire the worst managers known to man-kind. There is only one exception of a "good manager" I can think of the entire duration of my time at "BK". That's pretty sad! The job I have now, even the worst manager on his/her worst day can not even compare to as bad the managers were at "BK". Don't let it get you down. I used to almost be in tears over the way managers would treat me, to the point I even walked out once. They called me at home, and I ended up coming back because all of the sudden "I was one of the best workers they had, and they couldn't function without me". Don't let it get you down, and keep you head up while you are on the job. Ignore your mangers when they try to get to you, and don't allow your job to get you in a bad mood. Most of all, don't take it personally, even mangers have their bad days!
__________________
Jessica
jessicakicksbut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th August 2003, 5:17 PM   #30
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: MA
Posts: 1,836
Is this considered harrasment?

Today at work I had a rogh day and it shouldnt of happened,but things got out of control.In the past,I've got blamed for things that I never did.Today I got blamed for taking an extra box up from one of the managers that never liked me.She said I dont keep the salad dressings stocked.Im like"Excuse me?" I bring them up every single day and stock them.

What pisses me off is she goes out of her way to look for things to gripe about that I do.And little stuff that doesnt matter to any one else matters to her.No wonder why she constanly stares at me to get her jollies.Today I started crying and lost it.

I told another manager that she is blaming me for something I did not do.And they said they know Im doing my work the way I should.But the other manager constanly looks for things to gripe about me,little things that dont even bother anyone else.And Im constanly asking them what Im doing wrong and they say nothing Im doing wrong but I feel like I am cause she constanly makes me uncomfortable and tries to get me into trouble for nothing Im even doing wrong,shes just going and assuming Im the one who does it just cause its the job I do.I cant believe her.Im so nice to her and even help her with her work when she needs it.I think next time she wants the help,I wont do it.

I try not to give her the power to make me miserable but today I just lost it and almost told her off.Is it considered harrasment ,what she is doing? She starts on me tommorow and I will tell her off.She is so miserable with herself and enjoys putting me down,to make herself feel better.

If she is so unhappy with people all the time why dont she just quit? I just dont get it.Im sure tommorow she will look at me like crazy,just so she can tell someone every little thing that Im doing.Im beginning to feel real nervous doing my job or if she even walks in my direction,I walk the other way cause Im afraid of her.And I distant myself from her as much as possible.She should leave me alone if she knows Im petrified of her.I know im going to go in to work with anxiety attack cause I cant concentarate on anything else.Im beginning to hesitate doing things when shes near me cause Im afraid she will start on me.Its my biggest fear is being near her.

Patty

Last edited by Patty; 14th August 2003 at 5:34 PM..
Patty is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
So.. this is where I stand... ThatOneGuy Breaks and Breaking Up 2 7th October 2005 7:22 PM
Did he stand me uP????? girllls Dating 5 19th September 2004 3:40 PM
can't stand it wandering1 Breaks and Breaking Up 4 18th July 2004 1:58 PM
Trying to stand up for myself... echocrush Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being 12 10th June 2004 8:38 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:18 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.