TwinkletOes26 Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Ok im about to go into the work force(as soon as i can get a job ) and i have noticed that being besties with coworkers can backfire ie they get mad with you about something personal and screw you over at work. Like i knew a woman getting written up bc she wore a camisole to work instead of a bra(she was a 32 a). How did she get found out ? well after work she and another woman she thought was her friend went shopping after work they shared a dressing room(we girls of my genration do that lol i dont know why but its pretty common place nothing lesbianish going on usually) and she saw she was wearing a cami with a built in bra. Well that monday her boss wrote her up saying he was made aware she was coming to work with inappropriate undies on. Ive also heard of people going out with coworkers and one getting drunker than the other and one running back telling everyone they were a drunk. Well these stories teach me to NOT make friends at work lol. I mean i dont plan on being usly and unfriendly but i dont think ill be inviting anyone i work with to go club/bar hopping with me anytinme soon. I just wanna keep work and personal life seperate and the best way i can think to do as such is to keep coworkers at bay. I grew up in a small town and so i know how it is to have people in your business. How about some of you old pros at work how close do you get with coworkers? Where do you go to find new friends? Link to post Share on other sites
nana yaw II Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 to me it depends. To some work is just a place to earn money and thus they keep work and outside work seperate. but some people have people who are both work and outside work friends, and have little problems in such friendships. so it depends on the person, their needs and how they see work in general. a person with many friends outside of work may not care about making friends in work, which is understandable since they don't need friendship as such. as for friends in general, well find a place where people with like interests gather and chat with people there. if you like rock (as an example) go to a rock music club, if it's art go to an art gallery, if it's books go to a library. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I keep work purely professional. I get on with everyone there, but never let the relationships get personal, as I have found it can get messy. Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 For me when I moved countries, it was essential to make friends at work. But you have to be careful about who with.. there are always going to be the jealous spiteful types. In my latest job I've made some good friends, but they work in different teams, so I don't work directly with them, but even if I did I can't imagine them backstabbing me. Like I said it just comes down to choosing your friends carefully.. that's been my experience anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
dmarisca Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 My work friends are like casual friends, we always talk and stuff at work and go to work dos together but we dont really see eachother outside of work otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Well that monday her boss wrote her up saying he was made aware she was coming to work with inappropriate undies on. Huh?!?! :confused: A boss can tell you that he/she heard you're wearing such and such underwear to work? Isn't this sexual harrassment? I mean, if the underwear is not visible or if it's not obvious that you're NOT wearing underwear, why would anyone care? So what if a woman with small tits wears some pads or whatever to make her chest look more feminine? Am I misssing something here? Link to post Share on other sites
knaveman Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I'm in construction and I only get to meet racist, alcoholic, rednecks of less than average intelligence. I try to keep those kind of people to my after work hours. You make friends in your social life, not work. Keep them separate. Link to post Share on other sites
era Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 How about some of you old pros at work how close do you get with coworkers? The people at work are not my friends... Link to post Share on other sites
blondesmiler Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I have alot of work friends, current ones tend to be casual friends just chit chat at work and see them if we go out on works drinks. Once I leave if I keep in touch with a few then sometimes our friendship grows. I think as far as being friends with current work friends and talking about more detailed things is fine, if you get to "know" them first and build a trust. If you are telling someone you hardly know your inner most secret, then more fool them because they have no loyality to you yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Mine are pretty casual friends. We'll go out after work for a drink, have a laugh at work, have lunch with etc. But I'm not exactly going to go out clubbing with them or anything. Or shopping, or to the movies and so on. My weekend is better spent not thinking about work or anything/anyone to do with work... Link to post Share on other sites
I'm Joe Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I was a groomsman at my co-workers wedding....... The place to meet friends is wherever you are. If you are at work and you getr along with someone go ahead and be their friend. If someone has malicious intent toward you they can ruin your life even if they don't work with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TwinkletOes26 Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 Huh?!?! :confused: A boss can tell you that he/she heard you're wearing such and such underwear to work? Isn't this sexual harrassment? I mean, if the underwear is not visible or if it's not obvious that you're NOT wearing underwear, why would anyone care? So what if a woman with small tits wears some pads or whatever to make her chest look more feminine? Am I misssing something here? no no LOL instead of a bra she would wear a camisole with a built in bra...ive done it manytimes im a 34 a so i can get away with it as well..but one of her coworkers she went shopping with after work saw that she was wearing a cami instead of a bra and told on her that monday. She got written up for not wearing appropriate underwear. Link to post Share on other sites
Chantal Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Never trust anybody at your work. There are too many leaks to your boss. Keep a safe distance with all your coworkers. Talk, but only about the weather, or a basketball game. Never gossip against your boss, there is always one jealous coworker who will stab you in the back and cause irreversible damage with your boss. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TwinkletOes26 Posted March 15, 2009 Author Share Posted March 15, 2009 Never trust anybody at your work. There are too many leaks to your boss. Keep a safe distance with all your coworkers. Talk, but only about the weather, or a basketball game. Never gossip against your boss, there is always one jealous coworker who will stab you in the back and cause irreversible damage with your boss. Good luck. This is exactly what i think...btw chantal how do you meet new people to be friends with...can you go to the bar like you would to meet men lol? Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I've made friends with a couple of coworkers, despite my better intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
Chantal Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I have friends since my childhood or college, we grew up together,we don't work together and we don't stab each other on the back to get closer to the boss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TwinkletOes26 Posted March 15, 2009 Author Share Posted March 15, 2009 chantal i read your other post..honey people like that always get what they deserve in the end. I would really try to get another job. Search monster or yahoo....even craigslist. If that job is making you that miserable and the environment is that hostile i would try my best to leave. When/if your boss ask you why you are leaving (make sure you have the job at this point lol) be honest tell him why you dont have to be nasty and ugly just be truthful..maybe he/she doesnt know he/she is being favorable to such an extreme. Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Never trust anybody at your work. There are too many leaks to your boss. Keep a safe distance with all your coworkers. Talk, but only about the weather, or a basketball game. Never gossip against your boss, there is always one jealous coworker who will stab you in the back and cause irreversible damage with your boss. Good luck. This is so negative. There can be a jealous co worker - and I agree you should keep things purely professional with people like that, but not everybody is like that. You spend so much time at work, that it seems a shame to not consider making friends there. I'm going through such a rough time right now and without my work friends I think I would have completely lost it. If I'm finding it hard to get through the work day they are there for me to go for a coffee or lunch, or a drink after work. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Man i smoke weed and watch The Office with a co-worker every week. We trust each other and we have fun. Don't take life so seriously people. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I agree with green tea. Sure, it's entirely possible that somebody at work who you think you're friends with could screw you over in some way that damages your job. But hey, a very good friend from outside your workplace could f*** your spouse, and damage your marriage. Life's too short to treat people with suspcion or keep them at arm's length just because you met them at work. Think about how much time you spend at work -- why close yourself off like that? Everybody gets screwed over at some point in their lives by somebody they considered a friend. Say this happens with even one out of every five of your friends, which I think would be pretty extreme. You still have an 80% success ratio of solid, committed friendships. Pretty good odds, if you ask me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TwinkletOes26 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 See im just talking about keeping coworkers at bay cos i mean say we go out to eat and i order a glass of wine i dont want that to be the topic of conversationa t the office. My mom was a school teacher and she and her coworkers went out to dinner and one of them ordered a beer. That monday the woman who ordered the beer was the topic of falculty gossip about how she was drunk for ordering ONE beer. Of course this is a small town so maybe that had something to do with it. ANywho the point is i dont want my coworkers in my personal life. Ive seen to many work friendships end up in total disaster.Call me cynical but im just going off of what i ahve seen Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedGirl Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I must be very naive then. I have around 5 people that I am friends with at work. We go to each other houses, bars, clubbing.. Only one of those is on my team and I need to be more careful in what I say around her. There was another guy that now left and we smoked weed together regularly. Another girl that left is now one of my closest friends and has asked me to be her maid of honour at her wedding. I have never had any problems with any of these people. I can read people well and know who to trust. Link to post Share on other sites
imani Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I must be very naive then. I have around 5 people that I am friends with at work. We go to each other houses, bars, clubbing.. Only one of those is on my team and I need to be more careful in what I say around her. There was another guy that now left and we smoked weed together regularly. Another girl that left is now one of my closest friends and has asked me to be her maid of honour at her wedding. I have never had any problems with any of these people. I can read people well and know who to trust. I use to say the same thing. I thought I could trust the coworkers I allowed "in" as well, but for the most part they ended up showing their true colors when their job or their a$$ were on the line. They all are usually cool until things like promotions, manipulations, raises etc... come into play. That's when you know. I'm more on the side of nourishes the friendships outside of the workplace and just being friendly and cordial to coworkers. This also keeps them from being all in your personal business. Link to post Share on other sites
imani Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 See im just talking about keeping coworkers at bay cos i mean say we go out to eat and i order a glass of wine i dont want that to be the topic of conversationa t the office. My mom was a school teacher and she and her coworkers went out to dinner and one of them ordered a beer. That monday the woman who ordered the beer was the topic of falculty gossip about how she was drunk for ordering ONE beer. Of course this is a small town so maybe that had something to do with it. ANywho the point is i dont want my coworkers in my personal life. Ive seen to many work friendships end up in total disaster.Call me cynical but im just going off of what i ahve seen So true, Twinklet. So true. I guess in the end it boils down to personal experiences. There are some who can cultivate great relationships on the job and not have work issues interfer with it. And then there are those like us who have experienced the not so good side of office friendships and chose to just keep work & personal seperate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TwinkletOes26 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 Blueeyed I esp dont want coworkersn in by beeswax if i did decide to engage in illegal things like the above poster mentioned....especially then cos i mean what if they get mad they can "run tell dat" as my family says and cause you to be tested for such a thing? I mean what would stop them? Illegal activities aside I mean i just dont want coworkers in my beeswax. My mom talked about when she bought her a new car how ugly andn jealous her coworkers acted about it...i mean this was about a car so ill make friends elsewhere good thing i made friends in college...speaking of which i think ill go call my college bff now LOL at least i know i can trust her. Link to post Share on other sites
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