I just sleep all day since job loss

[Hi Powered]

Things are getting very bad. I lost my job a month ago. A well paid good job. I am not even getting interviews, its that competitive. I have slipped into a very bad way, I just sleep almost all day. I am not actually sleeping just laying in bed. Its like I am afraid to get up and "face" the world.

 

Its very hard for me to get a job again, even if i consider doing something else. I am running out of money. My family doesnt know I am out of work.

 

I dont know how to get out of this bad bad routine. If I do get a job how will i be able to adapt out of this lazy routine?

 

HELP ME PLEASE, ANY TIPS?

 

I am trying exercise, but its all panicky after I get up late.

 

The sleeping in is a big problem

[mahaneyk]

Hi powered,

 

You didn't say what you skills are, but if you don't have a resume writing software, start there, there are key words in the program which the hr professionals will pick up on and it may increase your interview chances, it usually only costs about $40. it also has sample resumes, cover letters and interview letters.

 

Hope this helps keep your head up.

 

and not be harsh, get out of bed and have a routine, that will keep you motivated. Get up take a shower, get online and look for a job first thing in the morning, then maybe exercise or read a book.

[Posco_Proudfoot]

Things are getting very bad. I lost my job a month ago. A well paid good job. I am not even getting interviews, its that competitive. I have slipped into a very bad way, I just sleep almost all day. I am not actually sleeping just laying in bed. Its like I am afraid to get up and "face" the world.

 

Its very hard for me to get a job again, even if i consider doing something else. I am running out of money. My family doesnt know I am out of work.

 

I dont know how to get out of this bad bad routine. If I do get a job how will i be able to adapt out of this lazy routine?

 

HELP ME PLEASE, ANY TIPS?

 

I am trying exercise, but its all panicky after I get up late.

 

The sleeping in is a big problem

Early Bird Gets the Worm. When sending resumes send a cover letter, maybe even send a follow up letter saying your interested in the position. Ever considered taking some extra training in the field you're in?

They say it takes a certain amount of months to earn those better paying jobs. It isn't like minimum wage. The jobs don't grow on trees.

 

You may need to make multiple resumes and get something at a lower pay just so you can get back on your feet in this rough economy.

 

I lost a job for about 6 months last time around the beginning of 2001. I signed up with the state to try and get reimbursed for training, though I never had to use it. You basically get yourself out there and network is the point.

[knaveman]

Look at it this way. You can lay in bed all day and let everything fall apart and do nothing about it. Or you can get your ass out of bed and make things happen. When has feeling sorry for yourself ever fixed your situation?

 

I thought I might fall into your frame of mind when I got laid off, but I decided to handle it rather than run or hide from it. You do what you have to if it pays the bills and keeps you fed. Screw the ego, you flip burgers if that's what it takes. It's easy to give up, it's hard to do the right thing. If you need support we're all here for that, but no one can fix this except you.

[alphamale]

HELP ME PLEASE, ANY TIPS?

first tell your family, keeping it a secret is creating more stress and there is nothing to be embarrased about as many have lost their jobs recently. the other thing is that you're just in a temporary phase and will be able to get back into the swing of things fairly easily.

 

i've been there and done that and i know its not easy.

[Butterfly01]

I agree with alphamale -- tell your family. In this economy there is no shame in geting laid off -- over the last few weeks it's happened to a number of my friends. I'm sure your family would want to help in any way they can.

 

Second, don't let yourself get into the viscious cycle of sleeping late, staying home, etc. Your job now is finding a job -- get up early, dedicate some time during the day to looking.

 

You need to keep busy. Get out and meet people, even if it's through volunteer work -- 80% of jobs are found through networking. I work in an HR department and I would hire someone that was recommended over a resume every time.

 

And if you are short of money, there are jobs out there that will help tide you over. They may not be what you are used to, but it will help pay the bills until you get something in your field.

 

I feel for you -- I was laid off 2 years ago and it is a blow to your ego. But you will find something if you put the effort in.

 

Good luck!

[artbrat]

First of all, you are suffering from depression. It may be situational from the job loss or you may have been suffering for a while. Do yourself a favor. Share this with your family or friends. Get help. There are free or low cost resources to help get you through this.

 

We tend to define ourselves by our jobs. Too bad. I'm sure you have many other fine attributes besides "what you do" for a living. Take one small step even if it's hoping in the shower and sitting upright in a chair. Losing a job is devastating. I went through downsizing a few years ago, luckily rebounded quickly through my network. But, chances are, my current job will go soon too. Not looking forward to that day.

 

Be kind to yourself. Make one phone call today, two the next, etc. You will feel empowered and eventually gain confidence. That will land a new opportunity for you. Best of luck!

 

~peace and love

[Trialbyfire]

Hi Powered, get yourself back into the routine of getting up. Set your alarm every night. Everyday, get out there with your CV, even if you only drop one or two off per day. It's only a matter of time before luck comes your way and an opening appears. If necessary, take a lesser position. Even if you find a lesser position, it doesn't stop you from continuing to look for the job you feel you're more qualified for.

 

Another option is to brainstorm a new career, through self-employment, if necessary.

 

Come on, you can do it! Get going.

[Hi Powered]

I dont think its self pity - its probably partly laziness, but something is physically stopping me from getting out of bed. Its hard to explain but I can rationalize getting up early all I want, but when it comes down to it, I simply stay in bed.

 

I am scared of my inbox.

 

I am now harrassing recruitment agents all the time.

 

The shower idea is a good one. I try and exercise. I have called all my own contacts and they do not have the power to help.

 

I think it is a lull, or some form of depression and also a sense of shame and dread.

 

I again made the same mistake today.Its a very bad way to be in and I cannot control it at all.

[whichwayisup]

Losing a job you love is tough. You'll go through the various stages of grief..Anger, depression, sorrow, etc..

 

Tell your family, there's nothing to be ashamed of. You need support, so don't let ego or pride get in the way of reaching out when you need it.

 

Instead of being afraid, take it as a challenge. A new chapter in your life. Scary yes, but in a good way.

[Hi Powered]

I am currently at the very bitter stage. I got screwed over pretty bad when I left and even though I knew that they were capable of doing this and worse it still came as a shock. I took the issues as far as I could be had to leave the action as it would cost me too much in the long term. So I am bitter and fuming.

 

I dont sit here all day long fuming, it creeps into my thoughts.

 

The first few weeks I was fine, I was busy as I had not ha dfree time for a while THEN it hit me hard.

 

Now - the fact that I am in this position because I got screwed over so badly is dragging me down. Currently they are no jobs and I doubt it will change for 5/6 months at least. Lesser jobs, they laugh at me they know I will not stay so why train me up?

 

I stand to lose my home - all becuse I didnt play the office game of working 7-8 and then arranging extra "fun" outings with the biggest boss to kiss his ar$$ clean. I did not backbite others and play everyone of agsint each other.

I simply did my job - that was not enough.

[Phateless]

What about something easy just for the meantime? I lost a good job recently as well, and interviews have been rough. I have thought about working at Trader Joe's just to have income while I search for a real job again.

 

Maybe go to a coffee shop with your laptop and browse the classifieds? It will help you to get out of your house.

[Tomcat33]

I totally understand your frustration and depression. These are some VERY trying times you are going through, and being unemployed can prove to be one of the hardest things you will have to overcome, it is VERY tough I feel for you.

 

Everyone has given you some great advice so far HiPowered. I feel your anger/pain I've been were you are in my past and this is after many years of having a career straight out of university. Was very fortunate to land a great job in my field and to be able to work my way up within it, but then that dreaded day came where they started to cut head count and there I went out into the street clueless and completely detached from what it was like to be out into the big scary job search market I hit rock bottom and almost lost my place and got into debt, so I know exactly HOW you feel. It is scary.

 

I had to work myself back up again, I had to take a job that was completely unrelated to my area of expertise, and I worked myself back up again to my ultimate goal and I did it.

 

You need a game plan.

 

For starters TELL your family and friends, there is NO shame in being laid off, you must let everyone you know that you are looking for work otherwise you are a kept secret. People cannot help you unless they know you are open to get help and you just never know where that help may come from.

 

Secondly you have to stop going to apply for jobs that are less than what you are qualified for with a resume that highlights your over qualifications. Dumb down your resume a bit (for the types of jobs you are overqualified) I know that sounds lame but that's what I did I dumbed down my resume focused on the skill set of the types of jobs I was applying for and away I went. You have to convince them that you will not jump ship after three months when a better job comes along and if you go with too much to offer they will assume you will get bored and won't hire you. Strategise, pick jobs that are beneath you but not ones that can't lead to where you ultimately want to be. Have more than one version of you resume, you should anyway and always tweek it to cater to the posting you are applying for, focus more on your transferable skills when applying for jobs that are not exactly what you do or know. Skill set is important but not as imporant as FIT.

 

I don't know what your skill set is but don't just look for work directly related to what your passion or field is, open yourself up to other opportunities in other areas as well because you never know what types of connections you will make in other areas of work. See it as a stepping stone toward your ultimate goal. It is easier to get a job when you are working than it is when you are off work, so try to find a job even if it is not ideal.

 

FORGET the internet job postings, you and all the other billion unemployed people are fighting for the EXACT same roles. It is literally like trying to win a lottery. Your day should consist of a % of applying for jobs you find online but also of ones from a full time job search, your day will become your full time job. Set out a schedule for yourself, and call up companies that you want to work for and do informational interviews. Call people in the types of positions you would like to be in and ask them how they got started ask them to share secrets of their success, you never know where one of those calls may lead but don't lie to the people you call and tell them you are calling for informational advice and then hit them up for work that's NOT cool. Don't waste their time if they are nice enough to talk to you if they feel you are being honest about your needs they will want to help you.

 

Join networking groups that are in your industry and go mingle with other professionals, there are free groups out there and make connections.

 

I know this is all going to sound totally overwhelming but this is how it is done, people offer jobs to people they can see and relate to. When you leave your job search strictly to your words on a computer you are limiting your exposure by 100000 times.

 

And this helped me out immensely when I was in my worst days, "Get out of your house, get out of your mind" go off and clear your mind at least once a day to get away from the grind of the job search. If you were working you would go for lunch go to the gym or go out for a coffee break do the same at home, staying in all day can really do your head in especially if you are feeling depressed. It takes a lot of work HiP but you CAN do it. Trust that you can do this.

 

Volunteer work is also a great way to meet people and find work. Volunteer work isn't just feeding the homeless there are all sorts of organizations that need volunteer people to do work for them, if you are in IT you could volunteer your time a few hours a week doin IT support at a hospital, if you are in communications you can do event planning for galas and fundraisers, if you are in sales you can raise funds for an orgnanization. It is a GREAT way to get out of the house and be in contact with people while they see what your are capable of PLUS you are doing something meaningful and good for others.

 

I know this can feel overwhelming but you really need to set out a game plan for yourself finding work is a FULL TIME job, and you also need to look after yourself and find a hobbie/activity to disconnect and enjoy.

 

 

I wish the best, I know it's hard.

[Hi Powered]

thanks so much Tomcat and others.

 

Some great practical tips. I will try the voluntary route.

 

It seems obvious but I think you are so right about online applications.

 

Also - you mentioned calling people up, chances are I have worked with these people in the past, I find it strange calling them up asking for an unofficial job? How do I go about this? I have never got a job like this?

 

I am not doing enough and even when I am making application I am finding myself distracted too easily. Hopefully when the weather improves it may help my mood.

 

Facebook doesnt help either. I have an onlne addiction so much so that I dont even care what I eat.

[KismetGirl]

Things are getting very bad. I lost my job a month ago. A well paid good job. I am not even getting interviews, its that competitive. I have slipped into a very bad way, I just sleep almost all day. I am not actually sleeping just laying in bed. Its like I am afraid to get up and "face" the world.

 

Its very hard for me to get a job again, even if i consider doing something else. I am running out of money. My family doesnt know I am out of work.

 

I dont know how to get out of this bad bad routine. If I do get a job how will i be able to adapt out of this lazy routine?

 

HELP ME PLEASE, ANY TIPS?

 

I am trying exercise, but its all panicky after I get up late.

 

The sleeping in is a big problem

 

Well I think it's pretty obvious that you have depression. The sleeping all the time, the physical inability to get out of bed, etc.....I should know, I've dealt with depression for years.

 

Sitting at home is the WORST thing you can do for yourself. You need to force yourself to get out of bed, take a shower, take your laptop and go sit outisde or in a cafe or something. TELL your family and friends, you need support. No one is going to make fun of you ....this is an awful ecomony, the unemployment rate in my state is over 7% alone. I have friends who last year were making almost a million dollars a year on wall street, and now can't even pay their cable bills at home. I don't know where you live, but I would apply for Medicaid or other public health insurance ASAP (obviously if you live in the UK you are lucky enough to not need health insurance) and go see a counselor or therapist. Even if it's just temporary depression, it is real and ignoring it will only make it worse. While it is intangible, it has the very real ability to ruin your life. I have screwed up school, work, friendships all because I let depression get the better of me sometimes. It's very hard, but you can do it, you just can't always do it alone. Get support from family and friends, and get a therapist if you can. There are also free or low cost places available in most major cities (again, don't know where you live, you don't say).

 

Go to recruitment agencies, try online, post resumes, have different versions of your resume, and if you have to for the time being, apply for jobs that might be "beneath you" or your abilities for the time being. Join free networking groups or sites (try Meetup.com...they have it in most major cities around the world, with tons of groups that are free to join, and you can meet all sorts of professionals). Keep yourself busy, that is the best way to not get in that funk. Allow yourself to sleep in, that's a luxury of not working, but make sure you are up by 11 am at the latest. Take a shower. Eat breakfast. Go for a walk.

 

Make a list of things to do every day. If you don't do all of it, don't freak out. Sometimes looking for a job can become a full-time job itself. Depression's greatest enemy is keeping busy. Sitting at home alone is the biggest way to sink deeper into a funk that seems impossible to get out of. I have been known to sit on my couch for hours, days, barely moving, watching TV, eating, and sleeping, and not doing much else. Obsessively checking my email and going on Facebook or posting on boards like this just so I wouldn't have to think....your internet obsession is your brain's way of desperately trying to find a distraction. Trust me, I know...I do the same thing.

 

the volunteering thing could be good, in so much as it may give you something to do. You don't have to call up people you know....many organizations, particularly hospitals and the such, have seperate departments just for setting up volunteers. I don't know what field you work in, so hard to say where you should go to volunteer.

 

Medications and therapy and staying social with family and friends, or trying those networking sites like Meetup.com, are going to be the best things to help you through this. It will be hard, and long maybe, but you can and will get through this. Just don't sit there thinking you have to do it alone, ok?

 

Big hugs, good luck

[Hoshi]

i have been through the exact same situation. at one time i ended up virtually homeless, sleeping on my friend's lounge floor for a few weeks when i had nowhere else to go. i finally found a job and managed to get a place to live. i was suffering from mild depression during those horrible months but being at work and having peace of mind started to bring me back up.

and one day, out of the blue, i was laid off. the manager didn't even give me warning. i just had to walk out. after that i felt so utterly ashamed, after having to lean on my family and friends for so long to have this happen to me, i couldn't bear to tell them. i kept it a secret and ended up disappearing off the face of the planet for 2 months- i didn't see, talk to or even email any of my family. they honestly thought i'd gone missing. the utter horror of my emotions then are indescribable. i had barely enough money to eat and was starving most of the time. i only just managed to pay my rent with benefits but i felt so pathetic every single day. i didn't get out of bed for days on end, didn't leave the house for up to a week, didn't see or talk to anyone. then one day i cracked- one of my family members practically broke into my house to find me in my awful state. they dragged my sorry ass out, slapped me around and stood me back up. i'm only being as vague as possible here, but trust me-i know what you're going through.

 

even after everything i went through i'm still here and while i am still suffering for what i did to myself, i can smile.

please believe, no matter what, you can get through this. i know how hard it is to force yourself out of bed but you simply have to. i would never wish my experience on anyone else so consider yourself lucky for what you have and love yourself.

[Hi Powered]

I hadnt logged in here for a while, but glad I did today.

 

Things have got worse. I had a few (very few) interviews and a numerical test. I failed the test very very badly.

 

The interviews went well but no positive feedback, in one case the company told the agent that the agents services were no longer required - no I guess thats a big NO then. The agent did ask specifically about my interview and the company didnt reply. I put a weeks worth of work into taht interview and he intially siad that I was very impressive - he said that in the interview.

 

Apart from that there is absolutly NOTHING out there.

 

Its really depressing because i really had put all my hope into the few interviews and leads I did have.

 

THis week has been very very bad. Finding a job is not a fulltime job in itself because there is very little to find. Its an absolute NO.

 

I find myself focusing on the awful way in which I was treated, screwed right over 10 times by my awful awful company and women boss. 10 faced ********s. I cannot get that anger out of my head because I have no focus.

 

If I go out - I spend money...so I have to limit it.

[Mountains10]

I hadnt logged in here for a while, but glad I did today.

 

Things have got worse. I had a few (very few) interviews and a numerical test. I failed the test very very badly.

 

The interviews went well but no positive feedback, in one case the company told the agent that the agents services were no longer required - no I guess thats a big NO then. The agent did ask specifically about my interview and the company didnt reply. I put a weeks worth of work into taht interview and he intially siad that I was very impressive - he said that in the interview.

 

Apart from that there is absolutly NOTHING out there.

 

Its really depressing because i really had put all my hope into the few interviews and leads I did have.

 

THis week has been very very bad. Finding a job is not a fulltime job in itself because there is very little to find. Its an absolute NO.

 

I find myself focusing on the awful way in which I was treated, screwed right over 10 times by my awful awful company and women boss. 10 faced ********s. I cannot get that anger out of my head because I have no focus.

 

If I go out - I spend money...so I have to limit it.

 

 

Hi Powered,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If it's any consolation, I'm going thru the same. I was laid off 3 weeks ago myself. Not only that, I'm due to get divorce papers in a couple of days from a wife I don't want a divorce from. Just when you think things can't get worse, they do. Nonetheless, I am trying to keep the motivation up as well. Like you, I find it hard to get motivated when the economy's so dead. Just keep your head up and know that you're not alone, even here on LS.

 

M10

[Hi Powered]

Thanks - Im so sorry to hear your wife has decided to divorce u at a time like this...I guess things could be worse for me also...today I dint really do much...i just cleaned up and then forced myself to run a few errands. I just dont know how to keep positive anymore, its been too long since it happened for me to be positive.

 

I am still angry - each day about it all....I cannot seem to forgive/forget. I was screws over by people - not the company. Nasty, vindictive, insecure women whose lives were ruled by the office 24/7.

 

I hope they die a slow death.

[Montclair0011]

Hi Powered,

 

The economy is in the toilet now so you are not alone. I totally get the inability to get out of bed. I'm also unemployed after 15+ years (and recently dumped by my boyfriend and a few years before that by my husband) and some mornings I feel like I have a 100lb weight on my chest. But I usually do get up eventually and I try everyday to do something productive. Some days that just amounts to food shopping or filling up the crockpot or writing on this forum. Other days I get more productive things accomplished.

 

Once I get up, however, I usually feel much better and I am even often optimistic about my future. I think this is due to a few things that you might try to move beyond your current paralyzed position.

 

1. Deal with your anger. You are obviously tortured by what happened at your job and that is making it difficult for you to move on. I would suggest you talk to a therapist (if possible given your financial state--are there any free resources) or read some self-help books about letting go of anger. It is what it is and you need to make peace with what happened since you have no control. Your anger is eating you alive.

 

2. Get some support from others. This will also help with the anger. As has already been mentioned, you need to tell your family and friends. If you are not close to any of those look for a support group you can join. This forum is great but you need lots of people to talk to regularly who can give you support. It's so much harder to do it alone.

 

3. Make a list of what you need to get done and eventually a plan for getting there. Having a checklist is helpful for accomplishing goals. Maybe go out to a coffee shop and spend time there doing the work. It's good you recognize your internet addiction, which is why going out can help get you off-line.

 

3. Use LinkedIn instead of Facebook. Hide anything on Facebook that might be a negative as potential employers now google prospective employees. Also, get recent books on or talk to recuriters about how you are marketing yourself to new employers. You need some objective feedback (which it seems you have tried to get and were frustrated). Check out the local library for resouces. The one near me has a weekly session for the unemployed with help on resumes, cover letters, etc. You might have simillar.

 

4. Figure out what you want to do so you can be more focused. I had such a hard time wth this until I realized I want to be in a different career than the one I was in before even though it pays less money. If you are truly stumped about what to do than look for a seminar on changing careers or evaluating your skills and providing suggestions. You can also volunteer for what you are interested in (as others have suggested) or just try to find any kind of job for the time being. For some it's better to just be working.

 

The sooner you get up and get going the better you will feel although you will probably still feel awful.

[SixthSt.Girl]

I'd say most of us are going through some changes with the ailing economy. From what I've heard, job losses have decreased a little bit each month since December, so that is good news at least! I live in an economically poor area so I'm quite used to being "underemployed." I work two part-time jobs, and believe me, don't always look forward to going to work. I also have suffered depression due to my hormones being messed up following going off the pill a few years ago. It's been a challenge, but I try to appreciate the work that I have even though it isn't ideal. Do you have a college degree? In many states, just a bachelor's allows you to substitute teach. Look into fields that you wouldn't normally consider. You may make less than what you're used to, but so what? We do what we have to do.

[tami-chan]

I feel for you, OP...sleeping always did it for me...doing anything worse was not an option, so sleeping was it...BUT, at some point we have to drag ourselves up...do something...anything! walk, run, sing, read,cook...but don't eat too much...nothing worst than gaining so much weight.

 

So tonight, set your alarm clock and drag yourself up and DO something!!!!!

[beautiful_stranger]

i feel you... feeling depressed can be an addiction.. but is there something else in life that might motivate you? something you enjoy doing and have a passion for? maybe start doing the things you love to get yourself out of bed and become active... along side of job searches?

[surgngnl]

i'm so glad that you posted this thread. i, too, lost my job. i've been out of work for almost 3 months now and it's starting to really depress me. no one is calling back for interviews or anything... and i have a great education and experience that's better than most. it's starting to weigh on my mind that it's only going to get worse. i have money to last me a little while longer, but it's wearing down.

 

i'm finding myself staying in a lot more, i visit my family much more than usual so to have some sort of company during the day and i sleep later than i should. my willpower to change my behavior is non-existent.

 

so, reading these postings to your question is helping me too. so, thank you for posting... and good luck!

[NINEBREAKER]

money nowdays is hard. i been jobless too. 3 months now. and i only have bout $400 left in the bank. but i have not stopped looking. right now to make money i watch a few small children. i just sit them there in front of a tv and feed them at noon and at 6. 10 bucks a day and thats per kid. i watch 3 of them. 2 boys and a girl. they get along for the most part sometimes the girl will get mad and beat the 8 year old up with her bratz doll.

 

but let me get to the point. take anything you can get. well anything legal. you could be livin the big time if you sold drugs but its not worth the risk