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Co worker has a bf. Yet what's all this I'm getting from her?


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Old 28th January 2009, 12:55 AM   #1
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Co worker has a bf. Yet what's all this I'm getting from her?

There's a girl at work that i'm just so curious about. I do like her but she has boyfriend. I was a little hurt by this because I was getting some signals from her and I decided to ask her out. Ofcourse she turned me down by telling me she'd get back to me though she never did. This was about 2 months ago and since then we have moved past it and she has gone back to normal.

Since then..there have been various things around work to arouse my curiousity again about her interest and one of them included chatting with another girl in front of her..I tried to include her but she was real quiet and had her nose buried in a magazine..she didn't even respond when I said bye that night. She's normally carries out good conversations with me. Jealousy?

It made me want to see if she'd approach me if I didnt approach her..and I am surprised to say that I got my answer today because she did seek me out twice when I didn't show up. For no reason at all..she was just passing by and wanted to talk. She'd say something like "Oh there you are" with a big grin and we'd carry out a conversation.

Which brings me to my next observation..she really laughs and smiles a lot around me. Sometimes I don't have to do anything. According to her, I make her laugh so hard that she screws her work up in front of me...and it has happened. It's a good thing right?

Last few things I get is she'll always hold a gaze with me if one of us is passing by..and she'd smile too. Sometimes a smirk if we had been joking around earlier. We have conversations that can last very easily about any topic.

My question is..I have her on facebook and i've tried sending a few msg's to her..she doesn't really respond and her bf is stopping me from really kicking it up a notch and asking her out one more time. She's mentioned a movie she's wanted to see, a concert she's wanted to go to..but her bf...ya know? Is she into me?

I feel like asking her out again but I am so hesitant and negative towards the idea.

Am I just that Co worker who's fun to be around or what?
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Old 28th January 2009, 1:03 AM   #2
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Try herding her into a dark corner, and get some quality alone time together.
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Old 28th January 2009, 1:05 AM   #3
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Lol..it's mainly us two working together in the store..so we get a lot of alone time...just not in a dark corner.
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Old 28th January 2009, 10:43 AM   #4
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She may just like the attention she gets from you.

She's involved with someone else, and imo you should layoff and respect that. Keep in mind if she cheats on him, you'll always have to wonder when/if she'll cheat on you.

Also you may be involving yourself in alot of drama that you don't want to be involved with.
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Old 28th January 2009, 11:25 AM   #5
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Am I just that Co worker who's fun to be around or what?
If she was into you YOU would be the bf. She is just enjoying the fact she KNOWS you like her and she likes your attention. Keep it on a business level and look elsewhere for love. She is just having fun with you so don't fall for her game.
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Old 28th January 2009, 1:05 PM   #6
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To be honest I haven't gone out of my way to do anything since I asked her out few months ago. I have respect for her and her bf. Neither has she but I've gotten a steady case of..

Teasing from her..her trying to find me around the store when I haven't been around. When I tease her.. a dirty look but in a playful way, one of those soft high pitch voices girls do when they're trying to be cute and her endless laughter and giggling which I see still happening even after she's walked off to do something else..that's how I know it isn't fake.

And what's the deal with her messing up her work around me? Doesn't that fall under the category of nervous and fidgety?

So what is all this?
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Old 28th January 2009, 3:04 PM   #7
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Sorry to tell you this but it's just flirting. She likes the attention. If she was interested in taking it further you have given her lots of signals back including asking her out. If you still want to pursue it -- I would say *one* thing about wanting to spend time with her if she were ever to find herself without a B/F, then let it drop for good, no matter how much giggling she does.
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Old 28th January 2009, 4:16 PM   #8
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I reciprocate whatever she gives me (Teasing, laughing, giggling, talking) but other than that..I haven't overstepped my bounderies but that one time..and even so, we had only really just met and worked 3 or 4 times together before I decided to ask her out. Would she really go out with a guy she just met and risk compromising her relationship with her bf and her image to her friends? It wouldn't be worth it to me if it was me. That's the way I see it..I think I asked her out too early.

And even though she realized I liked her when I asked her out..she's still here seeking me out to talk and giggling at everything that I do. If she didn't want anything to do with me..then why is she still instigating?

So I'd like to know how you guys arrived to the conclusion that she's flirting for attention..how do you not know if she's flirting for real because she likes me?
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Old 28th January 2009, 4:24 PM   #9
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So I'd like to know how you guys arrived to the conclusion that she's flirting for attention..how do you not know if she's flirting for real because she likes me?
Because she's with her bf and she turned you down when you asked her out. Also, none of what you listed is a clear cut signal that she likes you and would be open to pursuing things with you.
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Old 28th January 2009, 5:08 PM   #10
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Because she's with her bf and she turned you down when you asked her out. Also, none of what you listed is a clear cut signal that she likes you and would be open to pursuing things with you.
It takes a man's man to get to the knob of the matter.
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Old 28th January 2009, 5:39 PM   #11
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It takes a man's man to get to the knob of the matter.


Why thank you, kind sir.
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Old 28th January 2009, 5:42 PM   #12
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If she has a boyfriend, and is flirting with you and thinking about crossing the line, then I'd think she isn't anyone you'd care to be with if you had any scruples about you.

If I was interested in someone, and they were interested in me, and I found out they have a boyfriend.....my interest level would drop to almost nothing and I'd move on. Otherwise, I'd be interested in a cheater pretty much or someone that is laying the groundwork for cheating.
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Old 28th January 2009, 8:22 PM   #13
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I am going to go against the grain and tell you she DOES dig you !

But unfortunately for her.. she has a bf. She needs to do the right thing. If that's break up with him to go out with you or just tell you she has a bf and stop the oooozing of playfulness . She does enjoy the fact that you reciprocate....

Listen, stop the play by play banter. When she does something. brush her off like pesky fly... IF she TRULY digs you , she won't like it one bit and will move mountains to RIGHTFULLY get the honor of going out with you once she DUMPS her boyfriend.

Either way you wont TOUCH her or her heart without her being SINGLE.
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Old 28th January 2009, 8:31 PM   #14
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If she has a boyfriend, and is flirting with you and thinking about crossing the line, then I'd think she isn't anyone you'd care to be with if you had any scruples about you.

If I was interested in someone, and they were interested in me, and I found out they have a boyfriend.....my interest level would drop to almost nothing and I'd move on. Otherwise, I'd be interested in a cheater pretty much or someone that is laying the groundwork for cheating.
Quoted for the truth. Also the cheater might be wrong, but the one who knows she will be cheating is just as wrong. Not taking into consideration the ones who slept with a cheater and didn't know about it.

It's just morally wrong. You don't want it to happen to you either.
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Old 28th January 2009, 8:46 PM   #15
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Quoted for the truth. Also the cheater might be wrong, but the one who knows she will be cheating is just as wrong. Not taking into consideration the ones who slept with a cheater and didn't know about it.

It's just morally wrong. You don't want it to happen to you either.
May I say cheating is never right BUT if this girl is interested in the OP and she no longer has feelings for her bf and she BREAKS up with her bf then she is not considered cheating.

Its liken to feelings being lost , not certain what to do , something gives you a push to end what you are not happy with and persue something new. I just dont find that part cheating. She may emotionally be attached to OP but the strongest horse knows to stay by the fence until the time comes to leave the field
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