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Workplace dating?


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fromlonelytogreat

I work in an office environment and I kinda have a crush on one of my co-workers.

 

She usually works on a different floor, but is on my floor for the next few months. She is a bit chubby, but I still find her to be really cute and she smiles a lot.

 

I don't have the chance to meet many women around my age, especially considering that I work another job as well.

 

 

Should I maybe ask her out? :confused:

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Sure why not? I know people say you shouldn't date people from work but I think that's crap.

 

You two ended up at the same place at the same time. I'd go for it.

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Workplace romances usually fail for two reasons:

 

1. Two people work too closely together and see each other all day then see each other at home. They begin to feel that they don't have a life outside of their partner.

 

2. They try to keep it a secret from those they work with but eventually someone finds out then spreads it around the office.

 

As long as you can avoid these pitfalls, you should be fine. Enjoy :cool:

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I work in an office environment and I kinda have a crush on one of my co-workers.

She usually works on a different floor, but is on my floor for the next few months. She is a bit chubby, but I still find her to be really cute and she smiles a lot.

I don't have the chance to meet many women around my age, especially considering that I work another job as well.

Should I maybe ask her out? :confused:

A big NO NO. I fell into a trap of a woman recently who I considered as a good friend and was fired from a job where I was working for 8 years. She filed a harassment complaint against me and tried to sue the employer. She was just a drama queen. As a matter of fact, she was 5 years older than me with wrinkles on her face. Read my post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t168096/

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mental_traveller

Yeah, go for it. I mean, all you can lose is your job, your career, your professional reputation, and about $50k in lawyer's fees defending a sexual harrassment suit. Go chase that chub, Casanova!

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Cherry Blossom 35
A big NO NO. I fell into a trap of a woman recently who I considered as a good friend and was fired from a job where I was working for 8 years. She filed a harassment complaint against me and tried to sue the employer. She was just a drama queen. As a matter of fact, she was 5 years older than me with wrinkles on her face. Read my post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t168096/

 

 

How sad.

 

My good friend met his wife at work. They just got married this summer and have a great relationship. I have no doubt they will be sitting on rocking chairs on the porch when they are old.

 

It sucks that a place that could be a good potential for meeting like minded people is a legal minefield.

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casanovacorner

My advice would be to bump into her outside of work. How you go about that is up to you. Ask her out outside of work, because then its not sexual harassment, and you won't get fired.

 

Another way to pull it off is to ask a few people at work to all go out together, and develop a closer relationship with her, and watch her body language. Its not hard to do. I had sort of a reputation at work, when I did security at the community college. People new I was sleeping with students, staff, and co-workers.

 

The way I went about it, nobody knew until afterwards. If she sleeps with you, she can't really say you sexually harassed her. But that's later on. Take some people out for drinks and you'll get your opportunity.

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I wouldn't date anyone from work. It would be too difficult if things were going right let alone if things failed! Plus people at work are bloody nosey :D

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fromlonelytogreat

Who am I kidding. I am just a stupid graduate. Why the heck would she want to be with someone like me anyway. I am just a hopeless joke. :(

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Oh good grief.

Yeah. Waytogo.....

You keep projecting thoughts like that, you'll end up even more down than you are now.

 

Why would you believe that - ? You're a graduate?! Is she?!

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fromlonelytogreat
Oh stop.... you are just fine. I would stay away from workplace dating though if I were you... often employers discourage it anyway. Sure there is a possibility it could work out, but the problem when it ends, especially if it ends badly between you two. If you end up hating each other you will not want to be around her 8 hours per day... just think about that for a moment. It's not pleasurable, let me tell you. I dated someone I worked with... I also had moved in with him. We broke up and not only did I have to find a new place to live but also a new job. Fun.

 

What about if I don't work directly with her?

 

At this stage, should I keep a low-ish profile and not seem too keen?

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It really doesn't matter if you directly work with her or not. You both work in the same company. If something goes wrong and if she files a harassment case on you, you will lose everything. Trust me... I had been a victim of a drama queen at work a just couple of months back. She was too friendly to me and all of a sudden, she just filed a harassment complaint. She tried to set me up for money.

May be, if something goes wrong, you file a harassment complaint on her before she does it. Be proactive!:D

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I work in an office environment and I kinda have a crush on one of my co-workers.

 

She usually works on a different floor, but is on my floor for the next few months.

 

 

Maybe try to befriend her for now. If you still feel she's worth the risk, make a move towards the end of your working together.

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You know what I would go for it. If you really think she is worth it then ask her out on a date, or for coffee or something. What do you have to lose as long as there is no policy at work against dating co-workers.

 

I wouldn't worry about what Coolindian is talking about sexual harassment, I am sure that its very rare that, that will happen. That's just my opinion.

 

Let us know if you ask her out on a date! :love:

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I saw a survey about how most people actually met their spouses at work, which makes sense.

 

I think it's sad how sexual harassment lawsuits are actually an issue.

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Personally I would never date anyone from work, I see them too much on a daily basis to really maintain interest in them. And besides, there are so much more women outside of the workplace that could be potential mates.

 

Is there a way to show interest, but not seem too keen?

 

You can suggest doing things together but not actually ask her. Use it as a way of seeing what kind of reaction you get.

 

But before any of that, are there any clear signs from her that she might be interested? E.G.: does she somehow manage to always be around you, laugh at all your jokes, is nice to you, says your name every time she sees you, or maybe some light pats on the back/arm?

 

What is she to you? Your supervisor/peer/subordinate?

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I work in an office environment and I kinda have a crush on one of my co-workers.

 

We all have those occasionally, because we see them at their best. And when we work with someone, we tend to think they think more of us than they do. She may be friendly...in fact quite friendly, but this does not mean she considers your more than a friendly coworker.

 

She usually works on a different floor, but is on my floor for the next few months.

 

Think of the uncomfort level that you will experience after you date her. If it does not work out, then it is obvious. If it works out, then it will affect your whole work life. You will not be able to work as well, and you will be trying to impress her every minute you are at the job. Been there done that.

 

In some ways it is more uncomfortable having a good dating life with a coworker than after you have broken up. It may be in a good way, but suddenly your everyday work life is a performance for her.

 

She is a bit chubby, but I still find her to be really cute and she smiles a lot.

 

Okay, this jumped at me right away. If you do think she is the perfect angel of beauty, then do not waste your time. Even if you think she adores you, this kind of assessment makes me really think this will head to disaster.

 

I don't have the chance to meet many women around my age, especially considering that I work another job as well.

 

This is a different issue. And if you have two jobs, then you must need them. And if you need your jobs, why add a woman if your life when you do not have time for her? And if you need two jobs, why jeopardize one of them for a woman?

 

Should I maybe ask her out? :confused:

 

No.

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We all have those occasionally, because we see them at their best. And when we work with someone, we tend to think they think more of us than they do. She may be friendly...in fact quite friendly, but this does not mean she considers your more than a friendly coworker.

 

 

 

Think of the uncomfort level that you will experience after you date her. If it does not work out, then it is obvious. If it works out, then it will affect your whole work life. You will not be able to work as well, and you will be trying to impress her every minute you are at the job. Been there done that.

 

In some ways it is more uncomfortable having a good dating life with a coworker than after you have broken up. It may be in a good way, but suddenly your everyday work life is a performance for her.

 

 

 

Okay, this jumped at me right away. If you do think she is the perfect angel of beauty, then do not waste your time. Even if you think she adores you, this kind of assessment makes me really think this will head to disaster.

 

 

 

This is a different issue. And if you have two jobs, then you must need them. And if you need your jobs, why add a woman if your life when you do not have time for her? And if you need two jobs, why jeopardize one of them for a woman?

 

 

 

No.

 

Lol. Wow good analysis. Omg im in a similiar position except its a guy that i like at work. But anyhows Im leaving my job soon to go to another organisation. Mite ask him out when i resign.....lol.

 

But yeah, Ive liked this guy since July and no way would I ever have attempted to ask him out or make flirty moves in that period. Too risky and verging on unprofessional. PLus it would be embarrasing getting rejected and having to keep seeing them. Would never do the dating-someone at work thing.

 

Relationships are complicated enough without dealing with them at work.;)

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But yeah, Ive liked this guy since July and no way would I ever have attempted to ask him out or make flirty moves in that period. Too risky and verging on unprofessional. Would never do the dating-someone at work thing.

But, the number of men filing harassment complaints is very less compared to that of women

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I been there done that, dating at work. It's awesome in the beginning, but if it fails-things could get really ugly.

I did it twice. First guy broke my heart. It's bad enough suffering heartbreak, but then having to see the one who did it everyday? OUCH

The second guy turned out to be a stalker...we dated for about 6 months and I cut it off because he was smothering. Constantly calling me, stopping by my desk..would get royally pissed if I went out for a smoke break without calling him. The more I pulled away, the more possessive he was. He began threatening me. It got to the level of Human Resourses..that really set him off...he started several sexual rumors about me..It was horrible..Eventually I quit the job.

 

I am not saying all work related relationships will be like that, but look before you leap...

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It can go either way.

 

A. Relationship blossoms, Makes going to work more enjoyable!

 

B. Relationship fails, makes going to work suck even more!

 

Is the risk worth the reward?

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Eventhough most people will say it's a big NO-NO.. most As start at work.. and a lot of relationship/friendship/dating, etc... start from work..

 

If she's a colleague.. it's not as bad as if she was a boss or you were her boss.. then it's another story.

 

When relationships from work end.. it tends to be a little awkward.. but hey.. we're all 'mature' and should be able to handle different situation in life.. and that's one of them..

 

Good luck... let us know how it goes.. ;)

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