i hate my job and i have a ridiculous crush on my supervisor

[aaranhalt]

I recently just started as an account representative (like a bank teller but you have a lot more responsibility and better pay) at a credit union. I m 20 years old and in college and I had my first week of training over my spring break and then started the job once school was finished. The main trainer was out a lot during my training, so this other guy from HR trained me. I eventually developed quite an intense crush on him. He’s very nice and has a good sense of humor and is cute. He’s almost 26 I think. He’s more mature than guys my age which is a big plus for me. However, I know its stupid and nothing would ever happen. Plus when we were talking one day about another coworker who will soon be a dad, he commented that he is older than him and is so far away from having a family. He also lives with his brother so it doesn’t seem like he wants a girlfriend.

When I went back to school after my training he was promoted to a new position as one of the supervisors of all the account reps, so now he is one of my bosses. It sucks! My brother use to work at this credit union and he and everyone else liked him a lot. My aunt is also the manager so these two things together make me think quite often that I got hired cause of my family connections

The job is really stressful- its so much information just thrown at you and training doesn’t do much, I feel stupid and like I don’t know what I’m doing all the time. I have had several people tell me they cried sometimes when they started out and I cry once or twice a week when going home from work. I’m trying really hard and most people are pretty positive to me but I seriously feel like I am the worst teller that has started new there. Not only that, but he gets to see when I mess up and it makes me feel really bad, a lot more than I should, because I have a crush on him and don’t want him to think I am stupid. He def. as not nearly as nice as he was when he worked in HR, which I expected. My first day by myself was awful and I had to have a chat with him in his office the next day. He wasn’t really negative or anything and said I “handled it ok” which I don’t think I did and he was prob. saying it because the turnover rate for the tellers are high and they don’t want people to leave. I’m sure he has no idea that I have a big crush on him so I’m not worried about that. I have never told anyone because the place is a gossip mill and I would be mortified if he found out, and I don’t act like I do like him from what I know of.

I know it’s just a crush and will prob. go away eventually, and maybe after I feel more experienced and like I know what I am doing I might not hate my job so much. I don’t like it because it’s so hard and I don’t want to work there as a career anyway and because having him around makes me feel more stressed which I def don’t need right now. I can’t even think about quitting- I was very lucky I got this job. They are picky about who they hire and the pay is great and I need money to study abroad next year. Not only that, but my family would flip if I left.

[vintagecat]

Strive to learn and improve. This is pretty typical of new job jitters when the job in question takes more than 3 brain cells to do. New things are always hard. Listen to your more experienced co-workers. I'd be concerned if they said they still cry after a day at work but they don't. What you are going through is typical of this workplace in regards to new employees. Remind yourself that you can do anything for 4 months and if you let yourself off the hook, take the easy road and derail your plans, that may be the start of a life long pattern. Look at it as temporary misery in the context of your greater plan.

 

As for your crush, regardless of how it feels, it's just a sideshow. If not validated, it will go away eventually and if for no other reason than not looking like a bonehead to your boss while you are still crushing and subsequently getting dragged into his office for counseling after another screw-up, do whatever it takes to get up to speed and avoid that humiliation.

 

Good luck to you. Having entered my second career, the first being widely recognized a very stressful job where many lives depended upon my being good at what I did in a judgement and time critical environment, the second being low stress but the success or failure of a business is on my shoulders, I can say that as you go along in the work world, it doesn't get any better. High risk, high stress, high responsibility equals high reward in most cases. Get used to it.