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prolonged eye contact


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New here, sorry if this is the wrong place.

 

So, I have a supervisor who looks into me eyes for a long time when we have a conversation, and I always have to look away. I feel like he might be flirting with me, but I don't know how to tell.

 

How do I tell if he's flirting with me or if he's just trying to be a good communicator? He's big on taking communications classes so that he can be a better leader/listener, so I don't know if he's just trying to show he is listening to me or what...He's never touched me or done or said anything inappropriate, it's just the prolonged eye contact that has me confused. Everywhere I read says prolonged eye contact is either flirtatious or hostile, but isn't it possible that it just means someone's trying to listen?

 

I will admit I'm a little attracted to him, so maybe I'm reading too much into it. I don't want to give him the wrong idea by looking in his eyes too long while I listen, but then again I feel stupid/weird for constantly glancing away. I want him to know I'm listening without somehow coming off as a silly grade school girl or something.

 

Thanks for any advice.

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It's difficult to tell from just that one observation!

 

Are there any body language signs you could try to pick up on?

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LucreziaBorgia

Sometimes eye contact in a business environment like that can be meant to establish dominance and to intimidate in some cases. It can also be a sign of wanting to appear genuinely interested in what you are saying. Averted eyes can mean indifference, lying or submission.

 

If he has made no other gestures toward you, I'd be more inclined to think its something he picked up in a business course.

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Your post serves to prove what I've always thought....

 

"There is a fine line between casual eye contact and the cold, steely gaze of a psychopath." LoL....

 

My guess is, he's trying to show that he is involved in your conversations.

Have you observed his interactions with others? Does he behave similarly with them?

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New here, sorry if this is the wrong place.

 

So, I have a supervisor who looks into me eyes for a long time when we have a conversation, and I always have to look away. I feel like he might be flirting with me, but I don't know how to tell.

 

How do I tell if he's flirting with me or if he's just trying to be a good communicator? He's big on taking communications classes so that he can be a better leader/listener, so I don't know if he's just trying to show he is listening to me or what...He's never touched me or done or said anything inappropriate, it's just the prolonged eye contact that has me confused. Everywhere I read says prolonged eye contact is either flirtatious or hostile, but isn't it possible that it just means someone's trying to listen?

 

I will admit I'm a little attracted to him, so maybe I'm reading too much into it. I don't want to give him the wrong idea by looking in his eyes too long while I listen, but then again I feel stupid/weird for constantly glancing away. I want him to know I'm listening without somehow coming off as a silly grade school girl or something.

 

Thanks for any advice.

 

I would be worried if he did NOT look at you in the eye when he talks to you. That's exactly the kind of thing they teach you in communication classes. Not to look in the eye the person you're talking to is disrespectful!

 

I think it's your own attraction to him that's making you see things that aren't there.

 

-E

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Sometimes eye contact in a business environment like that can be meant to establish dominance and to intimidate in some cases.

 

One of my bosses does this. I am certain there's nothing creepy/pervy about it - it's all about dominance.

 

I also have a coworker who almost avoids eye contact. I've found him odd since I met him, and finally realized that's the reason why.

 

They should teach "proper eye contact" as a business course in college or something. :D

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Observe how he talks with the other co- workers, especially the men!! If he is staring at the men like the way he is staring at you then he may just be really intune with the conversation. I had a manager like that who never broke eye contact when she was speaking to thhe employees. It was really awkward in one on one meetings. But I learned to get over it.

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Thanks for everybody's responses. I'll try to watch him talk with other people. Swansong you made me laugh. I feel a lot better about this now after reading everybody's replies. It makes sense that he's just trying to show his role as the leader, and maybe trying to show I've got his attention when I'm talking to him. So I guess it's a good thing.

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I dont think you can decide the issue on this point alone. But at this point I'd say if you get the feeling he might be into you, well maybe its true. good luck

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Maybe this will sound odd, but I am the type of person that always stares into people's eyes when they are talking to me. It's something I've done since I was a kid, and I didn't notice it affected people until I was called on it fairly recently, by a friend. They said that although some may find it intimidating, it made them feel that I was really listening to them, like they were the only person in the world. So, maybe he was simply practicing good listening techniques.:bunny:

Edited by StarLily17
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