Mars77 Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I work for a multinational company as a contractor. I am a married guy with a child. My family is in another state as my wife is employed there. I visit them monthly. There is a female co-worker who is also a contractor. She is a blonde and beautiful (atleast to me). She is mid 30 ish (i guess) and she has a boy friend. Though we are not related department wise, we sit in adjacent cubicle. Initially I never cared about her and used to hear only her voice. One day I had to talk to her for some common issue for which she is responsible. The conversation was casual but she touched me twice while talking. From that moment onwards I have been totally obsessed with her thoughts that I am not able to get rid off. Whenever I hear her talking over the phone, I (uncontrollably) listen to her conversation. Whenever she talks to other male co-workers I am getting jelous of them. I fully aware that this is silly and nonsense. But I am helpless. I find stupid meaning for her body language and for her gaze when she looks at me as if she is interested. Though I sub-consciously feel she may have some strange feelings for me. (I am aware of my looks that I am 35 yo, 6', 180 lb, muscular and people say I look handsome. I always get stares from women.) I don't want you guys to say what I am doing is wrong because I know it is. But I want your advice from someone who have gone through this kind of feelings and got over it. Please tell me how to get over these silly obsession. Link to post Share on other sites
vintagecat Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I can't believe no one has taken a moment to tell you as might might have already found out by now that this is a temporary crush if you will let it be. The co-worker unfortunately and possibly unwittingly upped the ante and potentially opened Pandora's Box by touching you when speaking to you. If you look at the situation rationally and completely realistically the infatuation won't get the better of you. IOW, don't wallow, move on and good luck. Many a decent marriage and life has been compromised by these office crushes allowed to run amok. I've been witness to a few. Link to post Share on other sites
Politico Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 I don't want you guys to say what I am doing is wrong because I know it is. But I want your advice from someone who have gone through this kind of feelings and got over it. Please tell me how to get over these silly obsession. Besides the conventional wisdom that it's not bright to fish in the company pond, since you already know this is trouble in the offing, start to distance yourself. Don't let your imagination run wild and make more of things than they are. Don't seek her out for company or conversation and don't listen in on her conversations with others. I supervise quite a number of people, among them are quite a few very attractive women. For some of them a slight touch on the arm or shoulder is simply an acquired mannerism when they speak one-on-one. They don't mean anything by it and I don't make anything of it. You shouldn't either. Loneliness (away from family) can conjur up strange mental images. Tell them to go away! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I think her touch sparked a chemical ( chemistry ~ at least on your part ) reaction. Does she really honestly * do * anything that you can interpret as letting you know that she is interested ? Since you are ( happily ) married and she is a co~worker I would not advise you take this any further. I know you hear her voice and your brain says * Yes !* but alot of times a guy can crush on a girl and its all in his head. Unless she is really doing things to let you know like making excuses to talk to you , gazing at you for longer than normal periods of time , laughing at all your funny jokes....Either way try not to be alone with her if possible. Link to post Share on other sites
thankful15289 Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Honestly, I would re-evaluate why you are living in another state from your wife and kids. You seem lonely and desperate for female attention which your wife could provide, were she closer. Being anything but professional with this woman will make countless gossips with nothing better to do happy. It might also hurt your career. IMO, your family is more important than any job. As a contractor you are highly skilled; I'm sure you can find a job closer to home, and you'll probably be happier in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
HoustonScrewed Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 You need to leave this one alone in the real world, just dream about it from time to time, but when you start mixing work with relationships esp in affair mode you are only asking for trouble. When we catch this we terminate both parties. Link to post Share on other sites
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