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The Ex Boss and the Christmas Party...


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Old 10th December 2007, 9:56 PM   #1
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The Ex Boss and the Christmas Party...

I wrote a post a couple months ago about having feelings for an old boss of mine. Some things have transpired after I wrote the post. First and foremost it did turn out that he did have some sort of "feelings" for me. We hung out a couple times and ended up having sex. As much as I liked him as a person I didn't feel the spark I hoped I would and I don't think he did as well...we still talk but we haven't made any attempts to hang out.

A couple weeks after we slept together he ended up getting transferred to a different store and technically he is no longer my boss. As much as I cannot stand the new boss we have...she is a female and I am not worried about her trying to make a pass at me. I have kept my mouth shut about the whole situation with the exception of telling one coworker of mine.

Last night was our companys Christmas party. At the last minute my date canceled and I went by myself...which was fine with me. I was sitting at the table with some of my workers when he approached us. Then he started asking me some generic questions in front of everyone...which made me a tad bit uncomfortable. Towards the end of the conversation he said "I have to get back to my DATE..."

I ended up dancing with another one of my coworkers who is a good friend of mine. A few minutes later I left the room to go get a drink and he started running his mouth. He told my coworker and former employee of his about some pictures of mine on myspace and said the mother load of insults..."Hey if you get a few more drinks in her she'll sleep with you". My coworker got instantly upset with him and insulted him right back.

After I got back from the party he started talking to me on AIM and ****...he didn't even remember what he said since he was also drinking last night. So my question is...was he just being a complete douchebag or is there some hidden message down there...
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Old 10th December 2007, 10:15 PM   #2
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Hun,I know how you feel,Its a big POWER game,and it SUX
I wish there was something or someone to go to. Its childish how most magagers think REALLY

and I dont care who says what
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Old 10th December 2007, 10:26 PM   #3
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He is superior to you and is still employed by the company??!!! What you now have is hostile work environment! How unbelievably juvenile and stupid!

You ask what his intentions were - and I agree with Jade it was the male power trip thing. He wanted to let everyone know he "had" you. *********!!!!

If you like your job, then I say just let it go - but tell him that he has set the stage for hostile work environment by sharing what should have remained between the two of you with your coworkers. That has the potential to really make it uncomfortable for you to keep working with those people. In other words, tell him he's a jacka$$ and has put his job at risk.

If you don't like your job - tell management. They will HAVE to offer you a package - because it was someone senior to you and puts them at risk for a law suit. In addition they cannot fix it by simply firing him, because he has made it so that you, in theory, cannot face your coworkers.

Make sense.
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Old 11th December 2007, 11:13 AM   #4
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From what I've heard around the grape vine he is not on very good terms with our District Supervisor. He just needs to learn what to say and not what to say. For instance when he came over to our table to talk he made some snide remark "Have fun you two love birds" towards my coworker and I. Those who don't know about what happened in the past between the two of us became suspicious. From my perspective it was wrong for him to tell my coworker that he could get into my pants after a few drinks. This was coming from a former boss of mine and after that I lost any ounce of respect I had for him...
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Old 11th December 2007, 11:17 AM   #5
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He's still employeed with the company but he works at a different store. Sunday was the first time I've seen im in a couple months. I pushed aside any feelings of guilt until I seen him and then it all came back. I do agree with both you and Jade it was the whole "Male power trip thing". Right now I'm at crossroads with my job. I get along great with my coworkers but my new boss and I don't get along. I have thought about pressing slander charges or something of the sort...
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Old 11th December 2007, 12:15 PM   #6
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Its not really slander - and if it were, suing him is not going to get you anywhere. However there is most definitely a case for hostile work environment, which must be addressed by management.

It doesn't matter that he is no longer in the same store as you. By letting your coworkers know that he slept with you - he's put you in an uncomfortable position.

You could very easily say it has made it very difficult to face these people every day. Firing him would not solve that issue, as the cat is already out of the bag, so in theory they need to offer you a package to keep you "whole" while you cannot work there and need time to find a new job.

Make sense?
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Old 11th December 2007, 1:25 PM   #7
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I def get what you're saying. The only reason why I'm still at my job is because I go to college full time and they have an open availability option for college students. Even though he did apologize to me about it I still find what he said rather offensive. I don't want my other coworkers to know what the two of us did on our "off time". Hopefully he'll just keep his big mouth shut for awhile because I don't think he's in any position to lose his job...
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