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Hard fitting in with co-workers


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Old 18th November 2007, 1:21 AM   #1
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Hard fitting in with co-workers

I realize once again that I don't really have much in common with my co-workers. It sucks at times because I'm mostly working or greeting/behaving professionally with co-workers. Though it would be nice to just sit back, relax, and talk about stuff and have people listen or have something in common to talk about.

I don't know if my age should be a barrier but I feel I'm the youngest one there, and I probably am. My co-workers are either married or in their late 20's or in relationships. I used to be very well rounded during the days of college and memorized my facts straight and could make references correctly. I'm not as well rounded now since I'm mostly working or doing the same old things with my friends...and my memory is crapping on me and I have to think a bit if I'm trying to recall something from the past that's happened - which I can't seem to be able to pull off the top of my head anymore.

And if I don't feel like someone's listening I don't like to waste my energy talking to them. Though people at work respect me and I'm a likeable guy that most people greet, it feels difficult to build a true working relationship with them if all I'm going to do is stay in the professional mindset. I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking this as there are people at work who keep to themselves and don't talk to anyone at all. Though I don't want to be that kind of guy who just keeps to himself...and sometimes I'm so busy or stressed that I just wind up keeping to myself and do my work.
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Old 18th November 2007, 7:17 AM   #2
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i was in a same position like yours couple of years back. i know how it sucks in the office surrounded by people much older than you. my job involved traveling so it was better than being stuck in office all the time.

i got by by making friends with younger people in different departments especially HR because the company was an MNC. the office parties were the best place to get to know and meet people from the different departments. try to find young people and interact with them on lunch / coffee breaks. i found some "cool" older people whom i could hang out with after office but it wasn't the best scenario and i managed by for couple of months.

i did eventually quit and this loneliness was one of the reasons for that. if it starts getting to you and affects your work , you should start looking out for a new job. trust me ,if its not getting better ... it gets worse over time.
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Old 19th November 2007, 11:43 PM   #3
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Thanks for the suggestion. I don't know if it can be considered similar but there are 2 other umbrella companies on the same floor. Though I interact with some of the people there once in awhile the timing is off for the most part. Either I'm busy on my end and they aren't or vice versa.

As for company party events...we tend to have those at least once a month. My boss is a very generous guy (though we barely get much holidays off except for the main ones like thanksgiving & x-mas) and tries to keep the employees happy with these events so we can mingle and have a good time.
Though these are nice and all every time it's the same old people, there's only so much socializing you can do with the same old people.

Though I kind of reflected today on the type of person I truly am. I'm somewhat a bit of a loner and I've always been selective of my friends. But then it's also hard for me to meet people who have things in common as well. I also realize that people nowadays tend to bore me easily...I just could be going through a phase in my life where I'm mellowing out.
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Old 19th November 2007, 11:46 PM   #4
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Why do you feel you have nothing in common with older people? You've been interacting with all the people on LS of which many are in their thirties, forties, fifties and older.
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Old 20th November 2007, 1:22 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trialbyfire View Post
Why do you feel you have nothing in common with older people? You've been interacting with all the people on LS of which many are in their thirties, forties, fifties and older.
Well I don't think it's that reason. Some of my friends are older than me, I appreciate wisdom and intellect over silly drinking games or getting drunk at bars/parties (though I do like to go to bars as a social gathering place). But because I've been surrounded by older people most of my life, I've outgrown a lot of things a normal guy in his early 20's would be doing which is already 'been there, done that' ordeal. And I think for that reason I feel more comfortable with people that are older.

In places where I used to temp at, there were individuals that I got along with that were almost double my age but namely because we had common interests/experiences. Although it might sounds like a good idea to hangout with others from the other companies on the floor, it just doesn't happen like that. There are certain 'groups' made up of individuals that either work together in the same company or nearby each other and it's work that pulls them together - if these people didn't work in such close proximity they probably wouldn't even talk at all.
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