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interested in a brief affair


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[sIZE=2]I'm middle-aged and married with a couple kids. Just met a new Indian female co-worker here in the office. Her background is, she's from India, also married with identical aged kids, she and her family came over to the US a few years ago for two years with her former employer. As she told me, they never had intentions of staying in the US permanently. They returned to India. She joined my multi-national corporation over in India. And now she's just arrived here in my US office for a 3 month stay. Her family is back in India. She's staying with a friend that happens to live one town away from our office location. She's been here in my office for just over a week, and she'll leave to go back to India in January. Most certainly, I'll never see her again.[/sIZE]

 

[sIZE=2]I am very attracted to her. Introduced myself on the day she came over, and we've been very friendly and chit-chatty since. With the kids, and her previous stay in the US, and the cultural differences, there's lots for us to talk about. She's very attractive, very sweet personality, and she does NOT smell like other Indians I work with. She's rather quiet, naturally, since she really knows nobody in the office here. Keeps to her work on her PC in her cube. Eats her lunch at her desk. I am basically the only person that she interacts with in the office. We don't work together on the same systems, but I have been chatting her up daily, via email, instant messenger, brief cube pop-ins and kitchen run-ins. In our various conversations to date, she has said that I have a good sense of humor, I'm the perfect family man, I really make her laugh, and that I have such beautiful children. I pay the humor card pretty well. The other day, as she was eating lunch and working at her desk, I told her she was entitled to a one hour lunch, and she should take it or I'll be forced to come down and drag her out of her cube. I then said that maybe we can hook up for lunch later in the week, if her workload permits. Well, we haven't lunched together yet, in the kitchen or at the eateries right around our building. We have walked out the door together at the end of the day one time, talking on the way to the garage. I drive and she takes the subway at the station next to our garage. And just yesterday we had a nice 15 minute conversation after running into each other alone in the kitchen area prior to her leaving for the day. Pretty good rapport going. [/sIZE]

 

[sIZE=2]I'm very interested in having a brief encounter with this woman. Not necessarily looking to sock a home run with her, but just a walk down first base would even be nice. As stated previously, we're both married, and time is of the essence. I need to steer the conversation to hint to her that I like her, but obviously need to do it in a way that is respectful to her and hopefully won't totally upset her, given that we work in the same office for the next several weeks. I will keep chatting her up about lunch. Was thinking of offering to drive her home on the next rainy day, especially with it getting dark after 4pm nowadays. She walks about a mile from the subway station to her friend's house. She has skiied once and didn't do that well. Was thinking of maybe asking her if she'd like to try it again with me.....an afternoon on the slopes. Just this AM, I left her a quick "guess who?" on her white board, as she wasn't in the office at the time. She came in very late and stopped by my cube to inquire if I was the one who left the note. She told me she was stuck at hom on early AM conference calls for work. I have yet to receive any indication from her that I'm stepping on her toes, so to speak. Whenever we are talking, she's always smiling. That's good.[/sIZE]

 

[sIZE=2]Should I keep up the friendly and humorous conversations and wait until a week or so before she's about to leave? If she isn't receptive to something together, then at least she'll be leaving in a few days and will never see me again, and she probably wouldn't make an issue of it at work.[/sIZE]

 

[sIZE=2]Or is there something that I can say or do now, so in the positive light that we share the same feelings and ideas, we have a few weeks to pick and choose a time and place to share a special moment or two together?[/sIZE]

 

[sIZE=2]Anybody out here been in a similar situation, either in my shoes or hers?[/sIZE]

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when I originally typed my message, I was taking so long to do it, and when I went to submit it, something failed. It didn't post, and I thought that maybe my session timed out or something. So, this time I just typed it up in WordPad, logged in, and pasted it. Sorry about the control chars. And sorry if I offended anybody with my comment about many of the other Indian workers who smell. Another Indian co-worker, whom I was very office friendly with, who has since left the company, just smelled bad, and it was a shame, because she was young and pretty, and everybody knew that she had bad Indian body odor. I'm not here to get into an argument about it. Sorry, once again. I'm just trying to express my attraction to this woman and seeking some advice on how to possibly advance the situation. Thanks.........

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Why not ask your wife how to advance the situation with another woman? She might have some really good advice.

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she's always smiling. That's good.

 

 

 

 

It could be she just a friendly person, don't mistaken it she have a feelings for you. in my country there are a lots of indian from india visiting and living there, i tend to noticed many of them are easily smile a lot and very friendly.

 

also maybe she like your attention since she is a foreign and nothing much of a friends here in us.

 

indian people are very conservative they wants to stick to thier own men. if you seen an indian woman who married to a non indian man then she was not born and grown up in india.

 

and you two are both married, probably not a good idea.:sick: better stick ur dick inside ur pants.

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In our various conversations to date, she has said that I have a good sense of humor, I'm the perfect family man, I really make her laugh, and that I have such beautiful children.

 

 

Sorry, none of these compliments indicate romantic interest. In fact, they indicate the perfect foundation (at least in her mind) for a great friendship. She figures that since you are "the perfect family man," and you know that she is married...you will be a good friend to her while she is in this unfamiliar country.

 

Surely by now...being middle-aged, you know when a woman says that you are a perfect family man, she has no interest of making you a cheater. She may admire you for who you are and how you treat your family, but only because she likes that quality of honesty. I guarantee you that if you make any advances on her, she will not only be shocked, but she will be hurt and will break your friendship. I could be wrong...if she wants your family for her own...ie replace your wife, then maybe she would be interested but your marriage will be over.

 

Besides, what about YOU? What about that "perfect family man" and beautiful children? Forget about her.

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Sorry, none of these compliments indicate romantic interest. In fact, they indicate the perfect foundation (at least in her mind) for a great friendship. She figures that since you are "the perfect family man," and you know that she is married...you will be a good friend to her while she is in this unfamiliar country.

 

Surely by now...being middle-aged, you know when a woman says that you are a perfect family man, she has no interest of making you a cheater. She may admire you for who you are and how you treat your family, but only because she likes that quality of honesty. I guarantee you that if you make any advances on her, she will not only be shocked, but she will be hurt and will break your friendship. I could be wrong...if she wants your family for her own...ie replace your wife, then maybe she would be interested but your marriage will be over.

 

Besides, what about YOU? What about that "perfect family man" and beautiful children? Forget about her.

 

I agree with this poster, you are a fool. An indian women will never, ever cheat with you in any way shape or form on her husband. This idea you have is beyond my scope of recognition because it clearly shows now real understanding of the kind of fear that her culture instills in women if they would cheat. Her husband would almost kill her IMO if he found out, this alone keeps any sex out of the question, sorry :-(

 

PS There is the possibility of getting her drunk a little and hinting at the sex, she may be more loosened then.

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I have to go with what you say here and not presuppose something that isn't there.

 

I prefer not to be judgmental because I consider people to be free to do what they want and you're old enough to know what you're doing.

 

You want an affair with her even if it's once and until now she shows no signs of wanting to have one with you. She may like you as a person and that's it. The fact that she's from India may say something but as in this world everything is possible I would not discard the possibility that she may want to be with you. A friend of mine had an encounter with a nun, and we all think that this is impossible!

 

Take your time, don't be pushy. Be patient. Nobody likes to be stalked. Be friendly and alert for cues. These things occur often in workplaces. If you let her know too soon she'll probably feel unconfortable at work if she doesn't want anything with you. Wait a little until before she leaves. But if you have to tell her clearly what you want be aware that you may face rejection. If that happens please accept it, do not be revengeful or disrespectul, she may have her good reasons or she may simply not be attracted to you. You cannot force her, you just have to accept it and tell her that she should not worry at work.

 

The invitations are OK so that you can see if anything is possible.

 

If she's ready for an affair it's up to her, she can decide by herself about her life and you too.

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I find it presumptive and offensive that you come here to seek advice on how to cheat on your spouse and entice someone else to do so with you.

 

There are sites for opportunistic losers like you. This isn't one of them!

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RecordProducer

I agree with everybody. You are looking for a one-night stand with married women, being married yourself and you think it's totally OK. Poor you - you are so attracted to this OK-smelling woman. It's like you think that because she is from India, she should be happy to have your white, first-world-country dick inside her. :sick:

 

Leave her alone, for god's sake. Are you so desperate that you can't find someone else? Hint: your wife! :mad:

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This is predatory behaviour for a married man to go after a married woman who is lonely, trusts and befriends you.

 

Think about the implications to your beautiful family, your employment and the cultural implications to this poor woman.

 

Put your hands in the air and step back from your libido...

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RecordProducer
This is predatory behaviour for a married man to go after a married woman who is lonely, trusts and befriends you.

..

Not only that, but when she breaks his ego by saying "no" he will be so hurt, he will try to get her out of the job or something similar - cuz he won't be able to watch the woman who rejected him and might possibly get HIM out of work until January. Selfish and inconsiderate. I pity his wife.
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I'm not here to judge your intentions but there isn't much to think about until you two have gone for a few lunches, then drinks after work, and then dinner.

 

All of the "signs" you've noticed are perfectly normal and friendly behaviour in an office.

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How does your wife feel about this? Maybe you should talk it over with her and tell her all about the woman at work whose bases you'd like to run.

 

I hope when you're with the other woman you're picturing your wife sobbing, devastated. Or maybe her face when she was giving birth to your children.

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be sincere with her... tell her that you would love to be with her a few hours to get to know her better... and if she agrees then you'll know she's in for the ride...

 

:bunny:

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With all the font indicators in the OP's post, it's clear it was cut and pasted from somewhere else. What's up with that? Other than that, the comment about the smell of "other Indians" made me cringe, and the whole post makes me ill.

 

I hope I don't come across like a dick for saying this, but at my University, there are many international students. Most of them are Indian. At least 30% of the computer science department is Indian. I don't judge them for it, but the simple truth is many of them smell like 3 week old BO. I have a lot of Indian friends that I hung out with, smoked weed, and shot the **** with. They were cool, and I liked hanging out with them, but I would be lying if I said they didn't smell bad .

 

Once, I was working on a group project with an Indian girl who had a very unusual, but pleasant, smell. She a body odor that was not unpleasant at all. Then again, she was very attractive, so my nose might have been selective.

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Not only that, but when she breaks his ego by saying "no" he will be so hurt, he will try to get her out of the job or something similar - cuz he won't be able to watch the woman who rejected him and might possibly get HIM out of work until January. Selfish and inconsiderate. I pity his wife.

So do I...although I wonder now if he's a troll, as well as a few other posters in this thread.

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be sincere with her... tell her that you would love to be with her a few hours to get to know her better... and if she agrees then you'll know she's in for the ride...

 

:bunny:

 

Whoa, careful there. This is bound to backfire. She'll think he wants to get to know her better as a friend and then he makes a move...

Can you spell lawsuit?

 

To the OP: Stay away from her. I don't have the impression that you are on the same page. She is looking for friends and platonic company in a strange country. You just want to use her.

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