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Should I hook up with my boss's son?


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Old 27th September 2007, 10:18 PM   #1
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Should I hook up with my boss's son?

Hi everyone, I'll try to paint this scenario as efficient as possible:
  • I'm a 37 yr old accountant, single, and work at a small firm in a small town about an hour away from the city.
  • My boss, who is authoritative but very caring, has a 29 year old son who has a masters in computer programming, and is extremely shy; it's possible he's clinically shy.
  • My boss is married but very friendly and caring, and although I've never worried that he had a crush on me, I've often wondered if he considers setting me up with his son.
  • My boss's wife once blurted out, while at a company party, "you two ought to play duets together!" (I play the violin, and the son plays piano.)
  • My boss and his wife invited me over for the Fourth of July. I'm the only person from work that they invited. The son hardly spoke (as is his nature), and I was reluctant to say much to him other than "how are you," because I didn't want to make a fool of myself, just in case it WASN'T anyone's intent to set me up with him.
  • I've been at the firm about a year (I moved there from the city), and recently the son moved to the city, to take a job there. He had been employed in town, but was laid off, possibly because of his shyness.
  • But he is extremely handsome. Kind of Irish looking.
This is driving me crazy! Does it sound to any of you like I should just bite the bullet and ask my boss if he intends to set us up? Or the fact that he never set us up all year while his son was in town; should that be sufficient to say "forget it?" Was the Fourth of July BBQ supposed to be where we would get to know each other better? I'm not crazy about living in this small town (I'm more a city girl), so maybe I should just ask my boss, and if he fires me, it as meant to be?

Or maybe I'm just lonely, being cooped up in this small town, and I'm putting too much stock in my boss's son. Who knows. Maybe I should just do the online dating thing, and just drive to the city for dates. (There aren't many dates in this town, since everybody's married).

Anyway, what's your take on the situation with my boss and his son?
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Old 27th September 2007, 10:33 PM   #2
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I'm unclear on why you think your boss wants to fix you up with his son?

Just because they invited you over for 4th of July? Maybe they thought it would be a nice thing to do since you were new in town.

The duet? Seems like one of those things people say when they find out you play instruments.

A lot of this sound like you made it all up in your head about the fixing up business.

However, you can ask your boss to fix you up if you really want that. Keep in mind, if things go badly with the guy, then your relationship with your boss could be impacted.
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Old 27th September 2007, 11:36 PM   #3
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I wouldn't discuss it with your boss. What I would do is to whip out the violin and flawlessly play Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto in D major, Op. 35 and see if his son can follow you on the piano. If he can, he's your man.
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Old 1st October 2007, 9:53 PM   #4
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Thanks Norajane and Trialbyfire. Incidentally, I really love Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto; it's one of my favorites.

I asked the son, while at that company party, if the can play the infamous Rach III. He said no. Maybe if he learns it, he'll be my man!
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Old 2nd October 2007, 12:58 AM   #5
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Haha...if you're a rach 3 fan, you want romance/passion and a man with very flexible/fast hands. You don't ask for much m'lady.
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Old 2nd October 2007, 6:30 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by Trialbyfire View Post
Haha...if you're a rach 3 fan, you want romance/passion and a man with very flexible/fast hands. You don't ask for much m'lady.
Mmm...Rach 3. Methinks Rachmaninoff must have been a great lover.
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Old 2nd October 2007, 6:41 PM   #7
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Mmm...Rach 3. Methinks Rachmaninoff must have been a great lover.
Don Juan? Jousting windmills?

Good to see another classical music fan. What do you enjoy? Composer specific pieces?
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Old 2nd October 2007, 8:58 PM   #8
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Yes, your boss is definitely trying to hook you up with his son. However, he's got to make the move.
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Old 4th October 2007, 10:14 PM   #9
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Thanks for the input Blackberry. I'll definately let my boss make the move. Maybe he's just afraid I'll be turned off and quit my job if he tries to hook me up, if that's even what he's up to. It would be nice if I could make some remark that could be taken either way; it could indicate that I'm interested in his son, but could also be interpreted NOT to mean that.

TrialbyFire, I tend to like style most of all. Romantic era is my favorite, and even pieces from the classical I like if they have romantic overtones. Hence my love for Rach III. The sheer difficulty of that piece makes it beautiful in itself, in my opinion. Also, is your picture from the movie Bladerunner? I think I remember that scene.
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Old 4th October 2007, 10:19 PM   #10
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You're like me, piece specific. Albinoni's Adagio in G minor, Bach's Air, Pachelbel's Canon are a few of my favourites. I wouldn't call myself a classical music buff but do enjoy pieces. My parents are buffs though.

Btw, Menuhin and Heifetz... The best. That is all.
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Old 5th October 2007, 12:07 PM   #11
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Post lonelyone

Hey,

Anyway, what's your take on the situation with my boss and his son?

No, no, no...

There's no way your boss is going to want to set up his own 29 year old son with a 37 year old woman.

Especially if he is "authoritative but very caring."

He is probably the old fashion type that wants his son to marry a 20 year old nice virginal girl, or something like that.

And because he is caring is why he invited you to the 4th of July BBQ. He must feel sorry that you are that age and still not married and alone in that town.

If the wife had any idea that you had set her eyes on her son, she'd never had said that you play a duo with her son (violin, piano). She was also trying to be nice to you.

Just "go to things" anything, and get out of the house. Go to the city and find things to do there, any gathering etc. You have to do some work. Online dating too, eharmony has a good success rate.

(But I know meeting someone is the hardest thing in the world)

Good luck,

Ariadne
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Old 5th October 2007, 12:16 PM   #12
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He must feel sorry that you are that age and still not married and alone in that town.


The bitterness injection arrives.

I love the rach III too. I love the romatic era as well, I also love elgar, faure, and various angsty Russian composers.

Pachelbel's Canon- great, except it has been done to death as wedding music IMO.

PS- OP- do you want to be set up with the bosses sone? He sounds like to much hard work to me.
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Old 8th November 2007, 9:41 PM   #13
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Angry one theory...

"...My boss, who is authoritative but very caring, has a 29 year old son who has a masters in computer programming, and is extremely shy; it's possible he's clinically shy."

Much like your situation, I am 29. I am a computer technician, highly intelligent, good looking (I guess) and "clinically shy"... So you might want to read my response.
Anyways...
As a Catholic I have a unique perspective on your dilemma.
I can honestly say that you're just bored.
You should just go back to the big city if you need to purge your demons. I think you are really bad for him. You would reward his weakness and turn him into something truly pathetic, instead of someone sweet with infinite potential.
And he's really smart, he doesn't need you.
He could be an innocent. People in small towns don't know how to hook up. They just fall in love with whomever they meet!!! You'll be back working in the "big city" where you belong, breaking up marriages to quelch your boredom sooner than you think!!! Better that you just leave now or visit more often.
For God's sake, don't ruin him!! Don't give in to temptation. You assume that his weak parents are encouraging you to toy with him like that. That's because they are from a small town where "spiritually weak" means that people "fornicate and fall in love!" Now they are blind to see what you are really all about. I hope he is more sophisticated than they are. They must not know what planet you are from, being small town people and all. Hook up? Do they even know what that is? Don't follow them; follow God, follow your heart for crying out loud (if you still have one!)
Don't tell me they are "not religious." They take things for granted that people are basically good because they are small town folk and don't know the "hard core" consequences of sin, fornication and contraception. Either that or they are mean and they want him to "grow up." So sad.
Love God more than they do, since they are so blind. Help this poor boy by staying away from him. If you mess with him, don't be surprised if every day at work seems "weird" because now everyone is acting "weird" and "freaking you out." It may seem fun to toy with him and take advantage of him but if you do it won't be.


From a practical standpoint, if you take advantage of him, you'll never learn what he's really made of. Why spoil things like that?
If you decide to keep your job and you still get bored and want to "help" him "grow a pair," try one of these:
1) You could feign interest in Christianity. Talk about the lives of the saints, maybe get his parents a book on the lives of the saints. This should scare the heck out of him and force a decision out of him. If he is forced to see himself cut off from the world as a monk like the other saints, he might decide that he wants you. Ask a priest which saint's life will scares people the most.
2) You could find out if he likes or hates Mac computers. If he likes them, tell him he's is a rebel and then try to tame him. It will make you feel like a woman to tame a rebel, and it lets him be the guy in the relationship, so you should tease him about that. It sounds like he needs the ego massage so that he can have the courage to be creative and act more interesting and less boring.
If instead, he hates Mac, you can tease him also by saying you use one and that you're gonna make them switch. (Macs can be very divisive in I.T. because everything has to be standardized and compatible to stay flexible, manageable and remain an asset.) If you're lucky, his anger will turn to sexual frustration and he will channel that into something a little less boring involving you so that he can "build confidence."

Also, if you're not married, you should read this article which explains why everyone is so weak and hurting inside:
<http://www.ldolphin.org/endcourtship>
and discussion here
<http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=161324>
I'll pray for you. ( I actually prayed for a dead mouse last week, which might be excessive, so I'll definitely say a prayer for you also. )

I dunno, maybe Im losing it. Why am i posting in "loveshack.org?" anyway? you people suck.
And Yes I do have a crush on my dad's hygienist who I've worked with, and NO Im not gonna mess with her like you people all mess with each other, and MAYBE i googled something and found this thread and felt like typing here because i have a weakness too and im SOOO sorry...
thank God no one reads this stuff. I hate forums, im not posting anymore.
And i don't like cute little bunny rabbits!!!!!
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Old 25th November 2007, 2:13 PM   #14
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Mr.Religious stating how "you people suck" Seems like you are being kind of hypocritical. I would think anybody who is that into religion would accept everybody instead of judge them. Don't take his advice, how do you even know the boss's son is Catholic? Also, I do also feel that you should find somebody closer to your age. If you do get with your boss's son, your job could be ruined.
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