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Male Dominated Industry


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Alright I need some advice here. Not BS advice...hard core serious ones.

 

I work in a male dominated industry and I'm finding out thru experience that women are not respected like they should. I knew about it but I'm actually involved in it now and it comes from my peers so that makes it tough.

 

Today I about had it and I'm so tired of being cut off and treated like I'm below.

 

One of the problems besides being a female is that I look too young and have the girly look. I've tried everything I can to appear confident but it's not working because I come off as too cute. :rolleyes:

 

It is a constant stuggle and I'm tired of these freaking "male egos" and them thinking that what I have to say isn't important or matter because I'm a female. Yes I'm a dominated female so I can hold my own but no matter what I do and how hard I try I get no where. It is stressful and a game I play daily.

 

So I guess what I'm seeking is any advice from anyone on how to deal with this. Anyone else here deal with this crap?

 

I don't want to revert to my old self but frankly I feel like I'm left with no choice and no I can't just change jobs and such because my degree is based on the male dominated industry and I love what I do. It's my life and passion.

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Find a female mentor in the company.

 

Find a male mentor - there has to be at least one guy there who can see the quality of your work. Cultivate him, ask questions, suggest project, bounce your ideas off him. Win one of them over, and you'll have someone who can go to bat for you when you aren't in the room, and who can give you guidance on the politics.

 

Follow Margaret Thatcher's example: When she would be interrupted while speaking in Parliament, she would just continue speaking and talk over the interrupter until he shut up.

 

Get used to endless squawking about March Madness, the playoffs, the finals, the best golf courses, blah blah blah, at the start of every meeting.

 

Don't talk like a woman. Women tend to use inclusive phrases - we will do this project, our report is complete. Men do not talk that way, unless they're trying to sell you something. Use: I, me, my, mine.

If someone is pushing their view over yours, deflect. Tell him, "thanks, let's discuss that offline." And then keep talking about what you need to talk about. (In my industry, 'offline' means the intention is to talk about it later, but later never actually happens).,

 

If anyone ever tells you that you did a great job or whatever, ask them to put that in writing and send it to your boss...especially if it's a client who says it. I do this all the time and it really works - people will actually send an email to your boss. And bosses like getting those emails because it makes them look smart for hiring you.

 

Promote yourself. Make sure that your boss knows exactly what your accomplishments are as you go along. Send unsolicited updates and reports telling him what you've achieved and how successful a project was, or how you led a team, or whatever you do.

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I use to be this person who no one messed with. When I spoke people listened, if I had a problem with someone they would dodge me (always found them though), etc... I was raised to be this hard core dominating bitch who didn't take s**t from no one nor let anyone stand in my way.

 

But I stopped because I got tired of being like that because I seen what being like that does to a person. So it's who I am but it's not who I want to be even though I like it. I haven't been like that in about 5 years but I've heard from 4 people lately that I need to be like that again.

 

Since I'm getting heavy into this it seems I have to. I have a lot of thinking to do this week(end).

 

This industry is not for the weak. That I can confirm.

 

If someone is pushing their view over yours, deflect. Tell him, "thanks, let's discuss that offline." And then keep talking about what you need to talk about. (In my industry, 'offline' means the intention is to talk about it later, but later never actually happens).,

 

I should try that. Never thought about that.

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I work in a male dominated field also.

 

Don't let them take over what you're doing. Even if they do it in a manner of "helping", don't allow it. Be nice about it but firm that you'll do it yourself and you'll let know if you need them.

 

If they start talking down to you (by the way they say things), correct it immediately. Don't respond with a laugh or a giggle in your voice but in a manner that says you know what you're talking about and you're on their level.

 

Use body language that you're on their level. Women tend to over-smile and cast their eyes downward which are both submissive gestures.

 

Find out if you're being left out of conversations and join in. Let them know you're one of them and want to be included.

 

 

There's more but those are a few of them that I've learned....

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I was raised to be this hard core dominating bitch who didn't take s**t from no one nor let anyone stand in my way.

 

that is what i was going to suggest. i work in a VERY male dominated industry and that is the only way women can hold their own.

 

do you mind telling us what industry it is? well, i guess it doesn't really matter. regardless of what industry that is dominated by men, i guess it would be most of the same; women seen as not knowing what needs to be done or below, as you said. if you know your sh-t and no one listens just cause you are a women, then you got to be the little cute tazmanian devil as described above.

 

your "cuteness" and take no f-cking prisoners attitude could take you a long way in my industry and possibly yours.

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I've always worked in a male-dominated industry. Be assertive and very, very good at your job. Don't worry, they always come looking for you, if you can help them fix their problems. Make sure that you get back what you give.

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I work in a male dominated field also.

 

Don't let them take over what you're doing. Even if they do it in a manner of "helping", don't allow it. Be nice about it but firm that you'll do it yourself and you'll let know if you need them.

 

If they start talking down to you (by the way they say things), correct it immediately. Don't respond with a laugh or a giggle in your voice but in a manner that says you know what you're talking about and you're on their level.

 

Use body language that you're on their level. Women tend to over-smile and cast their eyes downward which are both submissive gestures.

 

Find out if you're being left out of conversations and join in. Let them know you're one of them and want to be included.

 

 

There's more but those are a few of them that I've learned....

 

Yep...I know exactly what your talking about.

 

that is what i was going to suggest. i work in a VERY male dominated industry and that is the only way women can hold their own.

 

do you mind telling us what industry it is? well, i guess it doesn't really matter. regardless of what industry that is dominated by men, i guess it would be most of the same; women seen as not knowing what needs to be done or below, as you said. if you know your sh-t and no one listens just cause you are a women, then you got to be the little cute tazmanian devil as described above.

 

your "cuteness" and take no f-cking prisoners attitude could take you a long way in my industry and possibly yours.

 

All I'll say is "male egos" pop in 100% when it comes to females being around. They don't like females disagreeing with them and HATE IT when you know more about something then they do. It's like "how dare you" type of thing.

 

I got my first dirty look last week when I started acting like what you all said I should. I called him on something and he got embrassed. Oh well...so sad... :laugh:

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They don't like females disagreeing with them and HATE IT when you know more about something then they do. It's like "how dare you" type of thing.

 

I called him on something and he got embrassed. Oh well...so sad... :laugh:

 

exactly...tough sh-t.:p they need to get used to it.

 

and i'd be pissed and embarrased too!;) but i try not "get into it" with anyone unless neccesary.

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curiousnycgirl

I've worked in a male dominated field for my entire 20+ year (so far) career. All the advice given above is very good.

 

Although I have never continued to speak while someone interrupted me. I will stop speaking - and when they are through ask if I may continue. Makes them feel very sheepish.

 

I have done the tough as nails bitch routine, there are very few who are better at it than I, and YES I have made grown men cry - however never undeservedly.

 

Overall my reputation is that I am very good at what I do and that I am extremely logical and fair.

 

Bottom line is that if you want to make it in a male dominated field you need to develop a very thick skin. I have experienced all kinds of amazingly unspeakable harrassment - mostly earlier on - so probably would not happen as frequently today - but men use many tactics to make women feel uncomfortable.

 

Become one of the guys - you MUST. Do not cry on anyone's shoulder. Of course women often cry as a stress reliever - do it in the bathroom! Learn to talk sports (never a problem for me always been a football and hockey fan and can converse fairly well on basketball).

 

Having said all this - do not lose yourself or your integrity.

 

Good luck

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Well that guy had it coming. I actually don't like him. He's this cocky younger guy who thinks everything revolves around him. It's pathetic if you ask me.

 

And yes I have noticed that I get pushed out in some instances. When they want something then oh boy you'd see how popular I am. I don't share anything because it's mine not theres. I use them not the other way around. That's one thing I'll never change.

 

But here's something I've noticed. There are a couple of other girls and it's like they were selecte to be "in the converstations" and I was pushed out. But the girls haven't pushed me out. We talk all the time. There fun. It's just some of the guys.

 

So I guess my question is why would they exclude me and not some of the other girls. I mean their clueless in a way.

 

have done the tough as nails bitch routine, there are very few who are better at it than I, and YES I have made grown men cry - however never undeservedly.

 

I have the ablitity to make people cry too. I don't know how I do it but damn I'm good at it.

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So I guess my question is why would they exclude me and not some of the other girls. I mean their clueless in a way.

 

the other girls push overs?? do they do the same thing you do or are the in a lower position than you?

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the other girls push overs?? do they do the same thing you do or are the in a lower position than you?

 

No not really. They hang out together more than I do. But no they don't push me over or anything. I have no problem with them at all except for the one. She likes to cut me off. But I think she's just excited or something because she's so excited to be working on something with me and talks to me all the freaking time. We recently met outside of it all so no it's a problem.

 

And yes they do the same thing I do.

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curiousnycgirl

Well from your post it appears you are still fairly new. I would assume those other women have earned their spot within the guys' world. Give it time and I am certain you will do the same

 

I went back up and re-read your post. As far as the girly look goes - I am not sure what you mean. I am 5'4" tall (in other words short) with DD's (hard to hide those suckers) - so it is certainly hard for me to look like a guy. However I have NEVER worn anything low cut, or too short, etc to the office. BTW I have also never worn a pair of slacks.

 

I dress like a professional woman. A skirt no shorter than 2" above the knee with a twin set if business casual, or a suit as necessary. I wear jewelry and always have makeup on - but I keep them to a professional level. Oh and I never wear open toed shoes! I just think they are very unprofessional.

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Well from your post it appears you are still fairly new. I would assume those other women have earned their spot within the guys' world. Give it time and I am certain you will do the same

 

Yeah...yeah...that's about right.

 

I went back up and re-read your post. As far as the girly look goes - I am not sure what you mean. I am 5'4" tall (in other words short) with DD's (hard to hide those suckers) - so it is certainly hard for me to look like a guy. However I have NEVER worn anything low cut, or too short, etc to the office. BTW I have also never worn a pair of slacks.

 

I'm 5'2 and have the cute baby look and I can't get rid of it no matter what I do.

 

I would say that out of everyone I wear more of that professional fashion stuff then the hard core black and grey suits. I have them but don't wear them unless I have to.

 

You know what I feel like. You know that movie Legally Blonde? I feel like Elle minus all the pink and furry stuff. :laugh:

 

I dress like a professional woman. A skirt no shorter than 2" above the knee with a twin set if business casual, or a suit as necessary. I wear jewelry and always have makeup on - but I keep them to a professional level. Oh and I never wear open toed shoes! I just think they are very unprofessional.

 

Really open toes?

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No not really. They hang out together more than I do. But no they don't push me over or anything.

 

i guess i meant is do they seem to collaspe under pressure from the guys easier than you? meaning that they are "easier" to get along with.

 

maybe the guys think they are "nicer", maybe.

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curiousnycgirl

That is just my personal opinion - take it for what it's worth, which may not be much. Just figured I'd share.

 

If you are acting like Elle from legally blonde - then you seriously have some work ahead of you to get on a level playing field with these guys. Not saying it can't be done, but it will be that much harder for you.

 

It's that old adage - you only have one chance to make a first impression.

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I dress like a woman to work but I wear casual comfortable women's clothes (including skirts) and have no problem doing anything physically necessary that I need to do. I always wear flats though--never liked heels. I look feminine yet strong.

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I dress like a woman to work but I wear casual comfortable women's clothes (including skirts) and have no problem doing anything physically necessary that I need to do. I always wear flats though--never liked heels. I look feminine yet strong.

 

Is that the plain look?

 

That is just my personal opinion - take it for what it's worth, which may not be much. Just figured I'd share.

 

If you are acting like Elle from legally blonde - then you seriously have some work ahead of you to get on a level playing field with these guys. Not saying it can't be done, but it will be that much harder for you.

 

It's that old adage - you only have one chance to make a first impression.

 

I was just using that as an example. :laugh:

 

But I can get on the playing field. I know what I have to do and I personally think that it's time I stepped it up.

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OK...can't help you on the clothes, but i hope you find what your nitch is and what works best for you.

 

o i do prefer heels, like the ones in boots...man's footwear.;)

 

Good Luck!

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Well if that look works then it works. I was just asking because I do have stuff like that. I just don't wear it and maybe I should. :)

 

Thanks though. You've been helpful. :)

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Well if that look works then it works. I was just asking because I do have stuff like that. I just don't wear it and maybe I should. :)

 

Thanks though. You've been helpful. :)

YW.

 

yeah, you could go with the mean teacher look. like the principal in "School of Rock.";)

 

image does play a big role in others perception.

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image does play a big role in others perception.

 

Yeah and I let myself get over confident and think that didn't apply to me as much. :o Shesh...you can tell I'm not experienced in this like other are.

 

But never fear I will be. :D I can be like I was before...no problem...

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Yeah and I let myself get over confident and think that didn't apply to me as much.

 

yeah, i hate that fact about our society but it does happen and always will.

 

i just dress like i want, and bring the "idontgiveashyte" attitude along with it. but then again, i 6 foot, 200 lbs and probably would be intimidated by a well dressed cutie that knew her stuff.

 

yeah, change the attire and see if that helps.

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