How do I deal with bosses mood swings?

[BlueEyedGirl]

I have been working at the present company for almost a year. My female boss has been overly friendly with me from the start. As in treated me better than most of the others, bought me lunches, constantly came over to my desk to chat and tell me funny stories. Then after say couple of months of this, she got completly distant as in practicaly rude. I would come over to chat and she would barely say two words and go "Can't you see that I'm busy?" etc. I don't particularly mind but after a period of this she would suddenly revert back to being overly friendly. And I just feel like I have to laugh at her jokes because she is my boss after all and pretend that rude behaviour never happened. Basically, I feel like I'm being treated like a doormat and it annoys me. I would much prefer a more "stable" relationship with the boss.

 

Do I just grin and bear it and be all "hahahaha" when she feels like it and just go away when she doesn't?

[Pyro]

I have been working at the present company for almost a year. My female boss has been overly friendly with me from the start. As in treated me better than most of the others, bought me lunches, constantly came over to my desk to chat and tell me funny stories. Then after say couple of months of this, she got completly distant as in practicaly rude. I would come over to chat and she would barely say two words and go "Can't you see that I'm busy?" etc. I don't particularly mind but after a period of this she would suddenly revert back to being overly friendly. And I just feel like I have to laugh at her jokes because she is my boss after all and pretend that rude behaviour never happened. Basically, I feel like I'm being treated like a doormat and it annoys me. I would much prefer a more "stable" relationship with the boss.

 

Do I just grin and bear it and be all "hahahaha" when she feels like it and just go away when she doesn't?

 

You should let it go. Like you said, she is your boss. She probably doesn't handle pressure too well. I use to work with this guy who was a nice guy but when he had alot of work to do and was under pressure, he was a total dick. If she is in a bad mood, do what you can to avoid her.

[lindya]

I have been working at the present company for almost a year. My female boss has been overly friendly with me from the start. As in treated me better than most of the others, bought me lunches, constantly came over to my desk to chat and tell me funny stories. Then after say couple of months of this, she got completly distant as in practicaly rude. I would come over to chat and she would barely say two words and go "Can't you see that I'm busy?" etc. I don't particularly mind but after a period of this she would suddenly revert back to being overly friendly. And I just feel like I have to laugh at her jokes because she is my boss after all and pretend that rude behaviour never happened. Basically, I feel like I'm being treated like a doormat and it annoys me. I would much prefer a more "stable" relationship with the boss.

 

However well you deal with it, you can't change this woman's personality. These mood swings are her problem not a reflection on you or the way you do your job, and if it's getting to the stage where the people under her spend more time trying to figure out how to deal with her mood swings than getting on with their work, then she's a liability to her company. However, these types are often real managerial arse-kissers and adept at blaming others for any toxic environment they create. Consequently they often aren't recognised for the problem that they are - but they are indeed a problem, and are often directly responsible for low staff morale and high turnover rates.

 

No boss is perfect, but it helps to work for someone you can at least respect even if you don't feel like being their best friend...and really, when it comes to bosses it's better not to be their best pal. It's a poor reflection on her managerial capabilities that she overtly favours some staff over others.

 

How important is it for you to stay with this company? I ask because when you're finding your feet professionally, it's pretty important to have some good role models. People talk a lot about initiations of fire, character-building experiences and how much you can learn from working for a sh*te boss...but in all honesty I'm not certain that working for someone who sets an unprofessional example by their poor workplace conduct is the best grounding you can get career-wise.

 

Unfortunately, there are lots of bosses like the one you have creating toxic working environments, but there are also plenty out there who are good people managers and know how to get the best out of their employees. Nowadays people are very mobile professionally and there's no reason to feel you must demonstrate staying power by allowing yourself to be trapped in a job where you feel treated like trash.